My son has to do jail time - Page 11

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Just as a side note, in general: The last thing we should do is argue with a police officer, no matter what, why, etc. There's always plenty of time to present our case/viewpoint/information in court. Just be calm, be cool. Accept the ticket and/or arrest, be as polite as possible, and ask for a lawyer if we feel that we have more and/or corrected/substantiated/etc. information. Also, parents should remind their teens about this important advice.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@hopeandfaith wrote:
Can I ask a silly question?

Why in the world would anyone think this is a bogus post? I mean, who would do that? What would be the point?

I wrote the post because I was looking for support. I did not make the mistake, my son did. So why is everyone attacking me?

And thanks to those who were helpful, I truly appreciate it.

From his sentence, your son didn't make "a" mistake, he'd already made several to be given the sentence you say he's been given. That means that, while to you he may be your precious boy who made just this one itty-bitty mistake and has been treated harshly, to everyone else he's a grown man repeat DUI offender who finally got the book thrown at him.

We're talking drunk driving here, as in inevitable high potential of killing or maiming someone. People are thinking, beloved child or not, you should have the feeling that he needs to STOP his behavior, and hope prison might do that because nothing else has for the last 10+ years.

You would have gotten more support if you had at any point indicated you were not okay with what he did and you ARE okay with his sentence, you *just* wanted advice for coping when a relative has to serve time in prison.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

In general re: this subject: I'd tell my son to make good use of the facility that he'll be in for several months. Use the library and research an interesting topic, volunteer as much as possible, be the pastor's helpful assistant, etc., etc. If online computers are available, maybe take a free or low cost class or two. This stay in prison could be a huge opportunity to turn a new leaf in life. Make these suggestions a goal, so that when he is released, he will have a more positive attitude. Remember, most/many people (who have access to public transportation) don't really need to drive at all, especially when they might be a danger to others. Millions of folks don't drive and use public transportation on a daily basis. (And there's always Uber.) I'm really hoping that O/P's son uses this time to turn his life around in a more positive, safe way. Lots of good luck to all concerned.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@hopeandfaith wrote:

I don't know why everyone is questening his sentence. It is what it is. He got argumentive with the police officer, I believe, so the sentence was heavier.

I did not want to get into why/what/how of the sentence.

This post is about support for ME. I am worried about him.

perhaps Alanon (sp?) for support of family members of Alcohlics I think that's the name or similar group

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I didn't see anyone beating you up. I did see people wondering why you can't seem to say, he did the crime and must accept his punishment.

You keep saying it was a mistake. It wasn't, he chose to drive drunk, thats a choice, not a mistake. He knew it was against the law when he chose to do it

I think you need some help to deal with this and to stop making light of his crime.

I don't know what kind of help you think you can find on a board. If you were looking for sympathy for your situation, I have none to give you

BlingQueen022 · ‎09-23-2012

@cherry wrote:
I didn't see anyone beating you up. I did see people wondering why you can't seem to say, he did the crime and must accept his punishment.

You keep saying it was a mistake. It wasn't, he chose to drive drunk, thats a choice, not a mistake. He knew it was against the law when he chose to do it

I think you need some help to deal with this and to stop making light of his crime.

I don't know what kind of help you think you can find on a board. If you were looking for sympathy for your situation, I have none to give you

@cherry Everything you said here is true. Not only did he not think of his own life on the road, but he put every inncent person's life on the line he came across by drinking and driving. I have no respect for him whatsoever. He belongs in jail and his license taken away for life!!!!

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@hopeandfaith wrote:
My son will be sentenced to 11 months in jail, I believe next week. He had a DUI. He is in his late 20's and basically a good kid, but has made mistakes.

I am heartbroken. He has never been in jail before, and I dont' know what to expect. I told him he has to deal with it. There is nothing anyone can do. It is a county jail in Pennsylvania.

Can anyone give me advise on how to cope? I can not eat or sleep, this is taking a huge toll on me.

@hopeandfaith, was your son's infraction caused by alcohol or other drugs? DUI usually means Driving Under the Influence. You don't say what sort of high he was under when he caught that charge. This may or may not have something to do with the sentence.

Was he caught with anything illegal on his person at the time? If so, this too could explain why he's getting this long sentence (drugs/possession).

Finally, he may be sentenced to eleven months, but it does not mean he will serve the entire 11 months. Lot's of people do a much shorter amount of jail time with sentences that are given the max (doesn't mean he will serve the max).

*Call Tyrone*

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@hopeandfaith wrote:

I don't know why everyone is questening his sentence. It is what it is. He got argumentive with the police officer, I believe, so the sentence was heavier.

I did not want to get into why/what/how of the sentence.

This post is about support for ME. I am worried about him.

There are intelligent, reasoning, questioning people on these forums. The why/what/how MATTERS. "He got argumentative with the police officer" - an 11 month sentence for a first offense and mouthing off - that must have been some mouthing off.

You response/attitude also MATTERS, whether you're comfortable with that or not.

People are not feeling sorry for you because you're not giving them any reasons to feel sorry for you.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

i respectfully disagree . the op started this thread saying that her son was in jail for a dui.

what she is asking of us is our support or any advice from anyone going through this ordeal. i see no reason why posters have to question or interrogate her about the details of what happened, not to menntion she's been accused of making this whole thing up. frankly, it's no one's business. it does not matter. she is simply asking for support and advice. to grill her on the specifics is not necessay and what help are you providing this mother who is in such a situation.

remember, her son did the crime, not her.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@ROMARY wrote:
Just as a side note, in general: The last thing we should do is argue with a police officer, no matter what, why, etc. There's always plenty of time to present our case/viewpoint/information in court. Just be calm, be cool. Accept the ticket and/or arrest, be as polite as possible, and ask for a lawyer if we feel that we have more and/or correct information. Also, parents should remind their teens about this important advice.

@ROMARY

Excellent point ..... anyone who gets antangonistic with a police officer is an idiot. What ever happened to common sense?