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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,604
Registered: ‎06-14-2016

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

Oh, GOD IS GOOD all the time.  Thank goodness you never say him.  Thank goodness you did not open the door and give he the ability to speak to you.

 

You WON, you dumped him and are at peace. 

 

Don't be upset, focus on the great things ahead.  I understand the situation of someone from the past showing up.  But it could have been a lot worst, you couldh have opened the door and he said a series of hurtful things to you.  You were blessed not to answer the phone or open the door.

Happiness is ALWAYS an inside job,
Don't assign anyone else that much POWER
in your life!!!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,628
Registered: ‎06-22-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!


@Happiness Is Inside JOB wrote:

Oh, GOD IS GOOD all the time.  Thank goodness you never say him.  Thank goodness you did not open the door and give he the ability to speak to you.

 

You WON, you dumped him and are at peace. 

 

Don't be upset, focus on the great things ahead.  I understand the situation of someone from the past showing up.  But it could have been a lot worst, you couldh have opened the door and he said a series of hurtful things to you.  You were blessed not to answer the phone or open the door.


Yes!!!!!!!! God is GOOD...and if I'd opened the door, who knows what would have happened??? He very well could have said hurtful things!!!! I am blessed! Thanks Happiness!!!!!! HeartHeartHeart

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,915
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

[ Edited ]

Is your x the father of your boys? If so ,you might want them. I see you posted he is not ,i say don't take them,don't contact him.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,513
Registered: ‎10-27-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

@emmysmom

The vibe I get is that he wanted to see you, probably to apologize or connect in some way because he has regrets. I hope you get the chance to hear those words from him so that you can finally let go of the understandable residual pain. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,795
Registered: ‎11-21-2011

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

I would say look at the note he left, say what an idiot, and move on.

 

You really have no idea what his thoughts were in doing this. Could have been packing for the move and came upon them. Dedcided he should probably offer them to you before tossing them. Or maybe even his wife told him that was the right thing to do.

 

Does he have any knowledge of the status of your second marriage? He might think after all these years that you moved on as he did if he doesn't know about the problems with the second husband.

 

Obviously you still hate this guy but it would be much easier to think that he was just a complete dope in doing this rather than he was going out of his way to hurt you. You really have no way of knowing either way but choosing to just think of him as an idiot would be much less taxing.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,828
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

@emmysmom

 

I am sad this person is still able to cause you pain after so long.

 

Maybe you might ask yourself what you may be holding on to and try to make peace with it.  Just few visit with a professional to see what might be lingering?

 

Peace

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,086
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

At this point, I would not waste another second on this man!!!! It sounds as if he hasn't bothered with your children in all these years either.  No one needs painful memories!!!!

 

Burn the note and, if there are any attempts to contact you again, don't respond.  He is not worth it!!!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,880
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!

Just drop the that torch, it's been 39 years.  It doesn't matter what his real reason was for reaching out to you, it sure wasn't old wedding pictures for a failed, nightmare of a marriage.  Perhaps he's just curious.  Perhaps he's and old cheater looking for a soft place to land.  It's possible that his marriage is failing.  I don't know why you are even thinking about him.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,628
Registered: ‎06-22-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!


@chrystaltree wrote:

Just drop the that torch, it's been 39 years.  It doesn't matter what his real reason was for reaching out to you, it sure wasn't old wedding pictures for a failed, nightmare of a marriage.  Perhaps he's just curious.  Perhaps he's and old cheater looking for a soft place to land.  It's possible that his marriage is failing.  I don't know why you are even thinking about him.  


I hadn't been thinking about him...I have moved on. The point that he tried to contact me was the only reason I got upset. It brought back old and painful memories.

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,628
Registered: ‎06-22-2010

Re: My exhusband stopped by after 39 years!


@Drythe wrote:

@emmysmom

 

I am sad this person is still able to cause you pain after so long.

 

Maybe you might ask yourself what you may be holding on to and try to make peace with it.  Just few visit with a professional to see what might be lingering?

 

Peace


I have made peace with him long ago..its just sad he wanted to contact me again..and bring back painful memories...I divorced him in 1979...a very long time ago. Thanks for your compassion! xox

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West