Among Friends

[BornToShop]

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@Jannabelle wrote:

This same thing happened to me after 22 years of marriage, and I will repeat (from experience) what has already been stated here. She needs an excellent divorce lawyer ASAP who will protect her interests. My lawyer made sure he got nothing of my 401k. It is a horrible thing to deal with and go through, and my heart breaks for your sister because I have been in the same situation. She will survive - it won't be easy and you need to be a great source of support for her. But please, she MUST contact a divorce attorney tomorrow. Check around and get the best one you can get. As horrible as it is for her, a quality divorce attorney will know exactly how to handle this. Once she retires, she can transfer the 401k to a qualified IRA without penalties, but it's imperative to start with a good divorce lawer...NOW.

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@Jannabelle wrote:

This same thing happened to me after 22 years of marriage, and I will repeat (from experience) what has already been stated here. She needs an excellent divorce lawyer ASAP who will protect her interests. My lawyer made sure he got nothing of my 401k. It is a horrible thing to deal with and go through, and my heart breaks for your sister because I have been in the same situation. She will survive - it won't be easy and you need to be a great source of support for her. But please, she MUST contact a divorce attorney tomorrow. Check around and get the best one you can get. As horrible as it is for her, a quality divorce attorney will know exactly how to handle this. Once she retires, she can transfer the 401k to a qualified IRA without penalties, but it's imperative to start with a good divorce lawer...NOW.

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@jannabelle1, I just showed her your response, you have given her an extra measure of strength knowing your 401k was saved...to quote her...you ROCK!   Her new attorney is a relentless pit bull, stay tuned!

[BornToShop]

@jannabelle1, can you give any insight as to how your attorney was able to protect your 401k?  She has another appt Wednesday.  Again, thank you!

[luvmydoggies]

@BornToShop 

I cannot add to the advice but send prayers for your dear sister. I hope she finds excellent legal help. She's lucky to have you in her court.

[cbrite]

@BornToShop I have been following and feel so bad for your sister. I wish her a success in the end of this heartbreaking story. I'm so glad she has you too. Thanks for standing with her in this devestating journey at this time in her life. 

[BornToShop]

@luvmydoggies & @cbrite, how wonderful of you to also extend your support!  I show her your posts & the continuing input of all the incredible compassionate empathy everyone on this thread has shown.  You have no ideas how much it means to me & my sis!  

[mcducky]

Attorney

Financial Advisor (the 401K should have one)  

Laws vary from state to state.

[Mother Cat]

What a creep he is! Get the best divorce lawyer around and interview with all the others.  He must have assets after all these years!  A good lawyer will direct her.

[Hoovermom]

@BornToShop:  I am so sorry to hear about the trouble you sister is facing.  Please let us know how she is doing and if she is getting the help she needs.  You are being a great sister to her.  She needs you.

[emmysmom]

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wrote:

My sister who is a year older than me, 65 found out this past Friday that her husband of 23 years suddenly, and I do mean suddenly literally packed up, left her not honoring his financial obligations putting her in a financial bind, claimed to have met someone else.  When I say sudden, I mean sudden.  No indication this would occur, no hint of marital discontent.  She is devestated.  She has an excellent income with her job, has a nice 401k nest egg saved.  Her concerns are him getting half of her 401k that he so not deserves.  She is contemplating early retirement now, cashing in her 401k so this disgusting piece of low life cannot get a dime from her 401k.  Her social security would be roughly a $400 less if she waited to 66.  Her strategy is to retire early, cashing in her 401k.  Any penalties would be better than letting that scumbag getting any of her 401k.  She is thinking retiring now that a judge would consider her Social Security & 401k would validate her only source of income rendering his access null & void.  I would greatly appreciate any posters here who have experienced the same horrific scenario giving feedback to help my sister.  TIA.    

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So sorry for your sister..we're the same age..My CPA advised me to take out my SS early, and I did. My ex is gone now and I get his..he was only 56 when he died. I think your sister should do the same..get what she can while she can! What a scumbag..mine was too in different ways..I feel I deserve his SS..married 22 years..3 kids..Hell Yes! Give your sister a hug for me!!!!!

[BornToShop]

@mcducky, @Mother Cat, @Hoovermom, @emmysmom, still attorney shopping.  She has serious highs & lows, your support means the world to her & me.  Truly appreciated!