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Honored Contributor
Posts: 29,089
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

Monday my daughter and I went over to my oldest daughter's house.

 

My granddaughter normally comes up and gives me hugs.  She sits and we catch up. She's 15 years old.  She goes to a special school for gifted kids.

 

All of these kids are extremely high achievers.  They don't handle getting something wrong very well.  

 

A lot of time was spent with her teaching her it was OK to fail sometimes and you can't always be number one.

 

It made a difference in her life and she has been loving school.  She's going with kids who strive to learn and she's happy.

 

Well, anyway, when we walked into the house my granddaughter came flying in from the back and ran into her room.

 

My daughter whispered to us that she's been crying all day long.  A young man who goes to her school had committed suicide.

 

My daughter said one of the many problems with these kids not going to school is that they aren't able to get together to console each other.  

 

She said normally a group of them would have gotten together and hugged and talked about who knew him and just share memories.

 

These are kids who really, really want to go to school.  They need the interaction with each other.

 

Any of you who've raised teenagers know that once they become teens, they often seek out each other for advice, friendship just enjoy each other's company.

 

I don't know how close she was to him.  We didn't talk about it and we were on our way to the Drs.

 

These are things people aren't talking about.  

 

My grandson (her brother) goes to a public school, but he's in gifted classes.  He rolls with things, but even he told me that he's hoping he can go back to school.  He was telling me how much he misses his friends and hopes to be able to play basketball again....

 

This school my granddaughter goes to has counselors normally to help the kids learn to deal with the pressure they put on themselves.

 

We hear about adults who've had trouble getting through this but you don't hear about these teenagers who are struggling, some .... more than others.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

That's too bad about the young man.  Suicide is always a sad tragedy.

 

Not sure what students being "gifted" had to do with your story.  All kids are being affected by the pandemic, not just "gifted" ones.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,357
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

[ Edited ]

@annabellethecat 

 

I am sad to learn this.

We do live in difficult times.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,336
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

So sad. Wish I had an easy answer to this. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,539
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

I understand what you are saying @annabellethecat. A friend of my 16 yr old grandson was seriously injured and the driver, another friend was killed in a car crash. The kids couldn't get together to support each other, visit their injured friend or morn as a group.  There are so many suffering, loosing family, job losses, lockdown etc but teens are a segment that is often overlooked. They to have lost a lot that many adults don't consider important in the scheme of things and may effect them in ways we don't know down the road.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,558
Registered: ‎08-16-2016

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

Dear @annabellethecat , 

This is quite a trauma for your granddaughter and her friends. I have been close to 2 other highschoolers who have experienced this kind of shock. Death itself is a shock at this age, even if they were not all that close. 

 

She ad her friends do need each other during this time, and it's harder that they have to be together electronically. A pet might be able to supplement the "touch" factor, if you have a pet. But I suspect it's unlikely you can help by talking or hugging--certainly ot by asking questions.

 

This will be hard and very tricky for you and your daughter. Be patient with yourselves and with her. Hold her in your heart, knowing that she can travel this path and be okay. She will feel your belief in her, though it is best left unsaid by you, and she may not be able to talk about it, either. Later, she may talk to you. Now, let her take as much time to process this experience, in her own way. It may take a short time or a long time. 

 

Meanwhile, take care of yourself. Talk to whoever you need to talk to, and remind your daughter do the same. Your anxiety will also communicate itself to her, unless you  handle it. This is the most helpful thing you can do. Don't forget to breathe.

 

Best wishes to you all. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,886
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

[ Edited ]

😲 Reading this thread shook me to my core!!! Regardless of the circumstances, a YOUNG man decided his life was not worth living.😥 The mental health of our NATION is at risk!

 

This serves to validate our youth are hurting in the midst of everything, and in NEED of mental health services too! 

 

I am sending prayers of emotional healing to his loved ones, and a special prayer of solace to his dear mother. Her grief will be the deepest as she struggles to process this tragedy. May God wrap his loving arms of comfort around her.🙏🙏❤. 

 

 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,522
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

So, so sad.  My niece has lost two classmates this summer.  I know one was an accident on vacation.  I didn't want to ask about the other.  

 

So much negativity and unkindness especially when you can do it behind a keyboard anonymously now.  I know what some of us go through here from time to time and we are supposed grown adults.  

 

I really don't envy this generation and their necessary social skills needed in person and outside of it.  I just don't think humans were meant to socialize and comfort one another  from afar.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,748
Registered: ‎01-02-2011

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

I'm sorry about the young boy's suicide but teen suicide has been on the rise for a long time, long before the pandemic.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,199
Registered: ‎06-02-2014

Re: My Grand daughter's School Mate Committed Suicide Last week

@alicedee 

I agree.  My thirteen-year old granddaughter had a classmate, at the beginning of the year, commit

suicide. 

This student was also the son of the math

teacher at the same school.  It was difficult for everyone,

and counselors were brought in to talk to students.

 

My older son, who is a school principal, said the counseling is really important, even when students

seem like they are fine.