@NYCLatinaMe I've always considered myself lucky because I can usually find the good in most things.
For instance when my husband died suddenly, I ran down the stairs and did CPR to him. I know I was doing it right because I felt his rib loosen up. I saw the air going into his chest and it came right back out through his mouth. He was still warm. My lips got to touch his, my air got to go into his body.
I was on my way out the door. In fact I'd gone 1/2 way out to my car that morning. I was getting the front end aligned but I'd forgotten the book I wanted to read while waiting.
I was running around upstairs looking for the book, worried I'd be late for the appointment when I heard a loud noise like a big box just being dropped.
Normally, I wouldn't have thought much of it because he said he was going to take a shower downstairs. He'd been running on the treadmill. I'd just heard the sound of the boom box being unplugged (he'd make it so loud it sounded like the house was going to implode.
I called out to him but he didn't answer. Normally, he didn't always answer if he was on a business call. He was in his office. So, for some reason I went flying downstairs and saw him laying in the floor.
What was the gift you might ask! Well, I knew he wasn't hurting when he died so quickly. I knew he didn't call out to me. I got to hold him, breathe into him, kiss his lips.
When the emergency technicians came they had to shock him 3 times. When they carried him out on the stretcher the technician said, "You realize he isn't breathing on his own...right?" I said, "Yes, I understand that you are putting air into him".
I didn't have to make the decision of cutting off all of the machines because he never came back.
He was an amazing, vital man. He worked out every day. He had an amazing body.
We'd just celebrated 38 amazing years together at the beach one week ago. Several of our friends and my girls and their husbands were all with us.
No angry words were said. That's all my gift.
There are many other times when my life didn't go the way I wanted but I made the most of it and figured out what I was to learn from it.
That's always worked for me. My youngest daughter is the same way. She's a very positive person.
I'm very healthy except for my horrible back. I've had things done to it most people have never heard of. Still the pain is (at times) unbearable.
It is something I refuse to give into. I keep going, not easy but I do.
I know by reading many other's posts they live their lives pretty much the same way. One would say, "What choice do I have"?
I think everyone has good and not so good in their lives.
The fact that my husband and I got married in 3 months from the day we met tells me we didn't waste time on being together.
I have always believed in reincarnation. I believe he and I were together in another life. That's why we met and married so quickly. Here's something that I think proves my theory.
We have the same middle name spelled the same way. We have almost identical social security numbers. We have the same blood type that is a little rare.
Enough. Once I get started, I don't know when to stop! Ha!
I've had a lot of people come up to me saying, "I know you". I always say, "No you don't." They are so sure, they'll rattle off things like, "Did you ever live in so and so city? Did you go to so and so school?"
The reason they are so sure is because I'm an old soul and have traveled back and forth many times.
In my family it's a joke how many people think they know me.
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