As some of you know my youngest daughter has been here in Virginia helping me since I broke my back in March.
In the beginning, I'm the first to admit I didn't make it easy for her. My oldest daughter and her husband came often and helped too.
I had let my house go a little (with even unopened QVC boxes and papers) around the house. There were things that had broken and I just lived with them/it because I didn't want to deal with having people in my house.
My daughter flew in from Denver when she found out I'd hurt my back in a fall. I lived with horrible pain for two weeks before I told my family. My Dr who treats me with previous back problems had shut down his office because some in there got the virus.
Well, this daughter (youngest) immediately flew in and from then on she made life easier for me. That's not to say I was accepting of her help and the changes she made, but she was determined to make necessary changes.
She drove me to all of my Drs appointments. In the beginning, there were a lot of x-rays, MRI's you name it to be done.
When it looked like this was going to be a long time process; she drove back with her dog and boyfriend to Va. After a few weeks she drove back (by herself with her dog) to Denver so her boyfriend could take care of her dog. That way she didn't have to worry about my 2 cats attacking her dog. Then she flew back yet again. She's been here alone since the end of April. Helping me.
She's rearranged my furniture. Bought a more comfortable bed for one of the guest rooms (for her to sleep in). My other daughter, son in law and their teenage children got rid of the clothes I don't wear, moved furniture, etc.
I've been putting off getting my master bathroom updated. She drove me to places where I picked out tile, etc. I'm getting all 4 of the bathrooms redesigned. She was the go-between with the bricklayers to get my front steps and porch done in half-moons the way I've always wanted.
I'm so proud of her. We've always had a wonderful relationship. However, what we experienced between the two of us was amazing.
As I sat next to her on the way to the airport yesterday, she said, "Marme (she calls me that sometimes) I want to thank you for all you've done for me. You gave me a chance to go back to school and change my occupation. You 'let' me help you. It couldn't have been easy letting us change so many things."
I said, "OMG! You are thanking me? You have helped me. You have done everything (things I didn't even know I needed) to make my life easier".
"We have been given a chance very few mothers and daughters have. We were able to argue and makeup. We knew each other as a mother and child. Now we have been able to reconnect as adults. We have learned each other's little nuances as you became an adult.
We've learned what we always knew...that no matter what we say or do to each other we will always be there for each other. Not just as mother and daughter but also as very best friends. I'm going to miss you terribly, but happiness will always push away the loneliness because I will know that you have made a life for yourself in Denver that makes you very happy."
Now my question for you who have daughters. Have you been able to go through the transition of mother and daughter to also be best friends?
Do you feel like you know your adult daughter as an adult? Have you taken the time to learn about her as an adult?
To those who can shake their heads as in 'yes' it makes me smile because I know you have and are experiencing something wonderful.
To those who have not been able to connect with your adult daughter like you'd like to I say 'get busy'.
Life is way too short to waste time on menial relationships with family members, especially your daughter.
Try spending more time alone with her. Listen to her dreams and hopes. Listen carefully as she talks about HER relationships with others.
It's a gift both of you will enjoy. You'll find yourself remembering little things only the two of you spoke about and connected with.
None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. We must all enjoy each day as it comes and look forward to the next day. Relationships like I mentioned about make it easier to do that.
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