My Dad's service today - Page 3

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

Yesterday was the day to mourn your fathers passing, not rehash old grievances. Sometimes it is best to say nothing at those times when emotions are still so strong. Do what you need to do and move on. Expecting everyone to be happy with your new found joy to have the control now is unrealistic.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Sorry to read about your SIL's behavior. The service itself sounded lovely.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

Hold your head up high, you have done everything right. Your SIL sounds like a very selfish and shallow person.

Misplaced Parisian · ‎07-21-2015

@hyacinth003 I'm wishing you peace and comfort.

Somertime · ‎09-18-2010

@hyacinth003 You honored your father's wishes and paid tribute to him as well. There is comfort in that.

Count your blessings that your SIL is choosing to ignore you. Let it be as is. It will make your position as Executor easier without having to deal with her interference and anger. It sounds like your brother has no interest in participating in any decisions. Let that be as well.

You are following your father's wishes as far as the terms of the Trust. It is up to your SIL to make amends or contract you to repair the breech. You have done nothing wrong in anyway shape or form, please remember that. I know you have stated that your father was very fond of her and I am sure he would be extremely upset with her treatment of you. If he was that fond of her, he would have made some sort of provision for her in the Trust which he did not. You no longer have to please or even accommodate her.

You have a lot to deal with in the coming weeks, focus on what needs to be taken care of and the grief you are suffering in the loss of your father. You will be comforted by your husband and daughter not your brother or his wife.

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

@hyacinth003 My condolences on the passing of your father. It sounds like you had a lovely service that honored him.

Wills can bring out the worse in people. I am so sorry that you are going through that, but I have been there and it is better to just let your SIL make the first attempt for reconciliation as she apparently had high but unmet expectations. Nothing that you can do can help in this situation. She will stay mad as long as it takes, which, be prepared, because you may never have a relationship again. Taking it out on your daughter is a sign of immaturity. I am sure that you dad never expected this and would be sad that it has come to this, which is something that you might tell your brother.

Again, my condolences.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

Tabbycat · ‎03-09-2010

@qbetzforreal wrote:
@hyacinth003- Bless it and release it. Your brother and his wife aren't worth any stress and strain. Carry out your father's wishes by executing his will as he has instructed.

Sorry for your family's loss.

take care

As @qbetzforreal said...

@hyacinth003... It sounded like a lovely service. You did good by ignoring the negative. That is best in the long run, I promise.

I wish you peace.

Still Tabbycat ~~ Less is More ~~

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

@hyacinth003

Your dad would have been very proud and happy with the service you had for him. You respected his military service and gave him a service with honor and respect to him and to all others.

You did a remarkable job of handling a most straining and stressful situation. You displayed respect and constraint concerning others. You never put yourself first and played fair never disrespecting anyone.

Now it is time for you to take your moments to grieve, in your own way, without the interference of others. Do that for yourself. You need to let your heart feel what it has been really feeling within your being. Cry, scream, laugh or just fall down in a chair and rest.

Your dad is at peace.

Good Blessing Hyacinth.

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
Yesterday was the day to mourn your fathers passing, not rehash old grievances. Sometimes it is best to say nothing at those times when emotions are still so strong. Do what you need to do and move on. Expecting everyone to be happy with your new found joy to have the control now is unrealistic.

@CrazyDaisy

"your new found joy to have the control?" Really? My dad is dead and I have new found joy? You can certainly say whatever you want. My only joy is that my father is now with God, my mother, his parents, brothers, and friends, and OUT OF PAIN. We watched him die for over 4 days. That whole time I was thinking of my joy at being "in control?"

I was told 10 years ago that I would be executor of his estate, so there was nothing NEW about it. It was my sister-in-law that read a copy of the will and decided it meant my brother was a co-executor. We are equal beneficiaries, so being executor is just plain work. I still don't understand why she is angry with me.

I have made 2 separate posts about this family drama. Yours are the only negative posts I have gotten. You are entitled to your opinion. I have been so busy that I have not had the option of grieving yet.

Hyacinth