My Anorexia Experience

Black Cat Back · ‎03-21-2010

I put my post topic in the wrong forum. I made the mistake and put it in Wellness instead of here...

I need some advice.

I'm a 33 year survivor of anorexia nervosa. I suffered from this disease back in 1979 - 1982, it started my final year of high school prior to leaving home for college.

At first, and back then, I didn't know what I was doing had a name or was a disease. I was deathly afraid of getting fat and leaving home. As many of you might know, anorexia (and all eating disorders) are not about "fitting into a dress" or "dieting," it's about lack of control in your life and irrational fears of losing your childhood. I was a lucky one. My college roommate had suffered severly from anorexia many years prior, and she saw what I was doing and basically "scared me straight" to stop what I was doing to myself.

Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting a lovely woman through a mutual friend. I recently lost my father, and we bonded over our grief. This lady lost her daughter to anorexia about a year ago. I just recently found out about how she died.

I wanted to ask those of you on this site and forum if you think it would be a good idea or bad idea to tell her about my past issues with the disease. I feel such a special bond with her daughter because of what we both shared, and I know what the loss must feel like to her mother. I thought it might help her to understand her dear daughter's suffering from a personal perspective. Although, I don't want to make her pain worse.

I always have felt that going through that insidious disease had some meaning in my life to maybe help someone else touched by it. But, I'm unsure if I should share this with my new friend.

Thank you for your advice in advance.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@Black Cat Back I just posted a response to your post wherever you posted it initially.

I don't know how to find it but it's somewhere on here. I hope it shows up! Annabellethecat.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

Found my response:

5m ago

I believe everything in life happens for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is.

First of all I want to tell you that I respect and admire you for what you've been able to overcome. It could not have been easy and must have taken a lot of work to overcome what I understand is very much a misunderstood disease. I would think (based on what I've read) you would have to be so strong because not only are you working on yourself but you have so many people who misunderstand and would probably be telling you, "just eat, what's the problem". I can't imagine.

You sound like a sensitive, intelligent person. I would only say to you that I think you should give it a little time. As you get to know this person better you will know the answer to your question. There are several ways she could feel after your reveal. You don't need me to go into them.

It is for that reason I would advise you to spend time with her, get to know her and her family well and once you do, you will decide on your on how to help her (and maybe her family). The death of a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person. She might still be dealing with the death itself, not necessarily how or why she died.

It is for that reason, again, I'd advise you to spend time with her and you'll know your own answer.

Please one day come on here and give us a short summary on how you came to your decision. I think we here on this QVC forum are lucky to have someone of your tenacity corresponding with us here on these boards. Annabellethecat.

Black Cat Back · ‎03-21-2010

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
Found my response:

5m ago
I believe everything in life happens for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is.

First of all I want to tell you that I respect and admire you for what you've been able to overcome. It could not have been easy and must have taken a lot of work to overcome what I understand is very much a misunderstood disease. I would think (based on what I've read) you would have to be so strong because not only are you working on yourself but you have so many people who misunderstand and would probably be telling you, "just eat, what's the problem". I can't imagine.

You sound like a sensitive, intelligent person. I would only say to you that I think you should give it a little time. As you get to know this person better you will know the answer to your question. There are several ways she could feel after your reveal. You don't need me to go into them.

It is for that reason I would advise you to spend time with her, get to know her and her family well and once you do, you will decide on your on how to help her (and maybe her family). The death of a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person. She might still be dealing with the death itself, not necessarily how or why she died.

It is for that reason, again, I'd advise you to spend time with her and you'll know your own answer.

Please one day come on here and give us a short summary on how you came to your decision. I think we here on this QVC forum are lucky to have someone of your tenacity corresponding with us here on these boards. Annabellethecat.

Annabellethecat,

What a kind response. Thank you so much. I'm touched by your sweet comments.

I appreciate your advice. I agree, perhaps I should get to know her better. I just want to help if I can.

You know this past year has really tested my tenacity. I lost my dear father to cancer, and I was his sole caregiver, my siblings abandoned me after his passing and I lost my job of 20 years. It's tested my resolve not to go back to past mistakes, even though my fear and grief has been substantial. I worry so much about finding a job and not using up my entire savings and what my Dad left me. I am taking care of myself, but it's been very hard to go through all this alone and with my history.

As you said, everything happens for a reason. I pray that this too shall pass, and I'll find joy once again in life.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and caring.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Hot Street wrote:
@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
Found my response:

5m ago
I believe everything in life happens for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is.

First of all I want to tell you that I respect and admire you for what you've been able to overcome. It could not have been easy and must have taken a lot of work to overcome what I understand is very much a misunderstood disease. I would think (based on what I've read) you would have to be so strong because not only are you working on yourself but you have so many people who misunderstand and would probably be telling you, "just eat, what's the problem". I can't imagine.

You sound like a sensitive, intelligent person. I would only say to you that I think you should give it a little time. As you get to know this person better you will know the answer to your question. There are several ways she could feel after your reveal. You don't need me to go into them.

It is for that reason I would advise you to spend time with her, get to know her and her family well and once you do, you will decide on your on how to help her (and maybe her family). The death of a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person. She might still be dealing with the death itself, not necessarily how or why she died.

It is for that reason, again, I'd advise you to spend time with her and you'll know your own answer.

Please one day come on here and give us a short summary on how you came to your decision. I think we here on this QVC forum are lucky to have someone of your tenacity corresponding with us here on these boards. Annabellethecat.

Annabellethecat,
What a kind response. Thank you so much. I'm touched by your sweet comments.

I appreciate your advice. I agree, perhaps I should get to know her better. I just want to help if I can.

You know this past year has really tested my tenacity. I lost my dear father to cancer, and I was his sole caregiver, my siblings abandoned me after his passing and I lost my job of 20 years. It's tested my resolve not to go back to past mistakes, even though my fear and grief has been substantial. I worry so much about finding a job and not using up my entire savings and what my Dad left me. I am taking care of myself, but it's been very hard to go through all this alone and with my history.

As you said, everything happens for a reason. I pray that this too shall pass, and I'll find joy once again in life.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and caring.

Hot Street...you are a very special person. I too am going through the worst possible time in my life and your words have given me strength. I pray that you find the peace and joy that you so richly deserve.

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

Beautiful post, OP. My advice would be to share your story. We all share a human experience and we learn from one another.

~ house cat ~

Black Cat Back · ‎03-21-2010

@panda1234 wrote:
@Hot Street wrote:
@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
Found my response:

5m ago
I believe everything in life happens for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is.

First of all I want to tell you that I respect and admire you for what you've been able to overcome. It could not have been easy and must have taken a lot of work to overcome what I understand is very much a misunderstood disease. I would think (based on what I've read) you would have to be so strong because not only are you working on yourself but you have so many people who misunderstand and would probably be telling you, "just eat, what's the problem". I can't imagine.

You sound like a sensitive, intelligent person. I would only say to you that I think you should give it a little time. As you get to know this person better you will know the answer to your question. There are several ways she could feel after your reveal. You don't need me to go into them.

It is for that reason I would advise you to spend time with her, get to know her and her family well and once you do, you will decide on your on how to help her (and maybe her family). The death of a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person. She might still be dealing with the death itself, not necessarily how or why she died.

It is for that reason, again, I'd advise you to spend time with her and you'll know your own answer.

Please one day come on here and give us a short summary on how you came to your decision. I think we here on this QVC forum are lucky to have someone of your tenacity corresponding with us here on these boards. Annabellethecat.

Annabellethecat,
What a kind response. Thank you so much. I'm touched by your sweet comments.

I appreciate your advice. I agree, perhaps I should get to know her better. I just want to help if I can.

You know this past year has really tested my tenacity. I lost my dear father to cancer, and I was his sole caregiver, my siblings abandoned me after his passing and I lost my job of 20 years. It's tested my resolve not to go back to past mistakes, even though my fear and grief has been substantial. I worry so much about finding a job and not using up my entire savings and what my Dad left me. I am taking care of myself, but it's been very hard to go through all this alone and with my history.

As you said, everything happens for a reason. I pray that this too shall pass, and I'll find joy once again in life.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and caring.
Hot Street...you are a very special person. I too am going through the worst possible time in my life and your words have given me strength. I pray that you find the peace and joy that you so richly deserve.

Panda 123

I'm so touched that my post and words have helped you. Going through tough times can be lonely and scary. I just seem to recover from something and I'm hit again. I have always been a person with faith, but it's been hard. I sometimes don't understand why some people have so much pain and others don't. Perhaps we're being prepared for something that we can't see right now. All I know is sometimes the loneliness can be awful. Sometimes the hurt and fear can feel overwhelming. But for some reason, I've carried on even though it's been hard and I live in fear.

I miss my Dad so much. I miss knowing I'll never have sisters who truly love me. I have me, and I have to try with all my heart to not let go.

I am blessed that you responded to me. I pray you find peace. Thank you for your special comments!!!

Black Cat Back · ‎03-21-2010

@house_cat wrote:
Beautiful post, OP. My advice would be to share your story. We all share a human experience and we learn from one another.

Thank you house_cat

I appreciate that insight. That is what I was thinking, too.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Hot Street wrote:
@panda1234 wrote:
@Hot Street wrote:
@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
Found my response:

5m ago
I believe everything in life happens for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is.

First of all I want to tell you that I respect and admire you for what you've been able to overcome. It could not have been easy and must have taken a lot of work to overcome what I understand is very much a misunderstood disease. I would think (based on what I've read) you would have to be so strong because not only are you working on yourself but you have so many people who misunderstand and would probably be telling you, "just eat, what's the problem". I can't imagine.

You sound like a sensitive, intelligent person. I would only say to you that I think you should give it a little time. As you get to know this person better you will know the answer to your question. There are several ways she could feel after your reveal. You don't need me to go into them.

It is for that reason I would advise you to spend time with her, get to know her and her family well and once you do, you will decide on your on how to help her (and maybe her family). The death of a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person. She might still be dealing with the death itself, not necessarily how or why she died.

It is for that reason, again, I'd advise you to spend time with her and you'll know your own answer.

Please one day come on here and give us a short summary on how you came to your decision. I think we here on this QVC forum are lucky to have someone of your tenacity corresponding with us here on these boards. Annabellethecat.

Annabellethecat,
What a kind response. Thank you so much. I'm touched by your sweet comments.

I appreciate your advice. I agree, perhaps I should get to know her better. I just want to help if I can.

You know this past year has really tested my tenacity. I lost my dear father to cancer, and I was his sole caregiver, my siblings abandoned me after his passing and I lost my job of 20 years. It's tested my resolve not to go back to past mistakes, even though my fear and grief has been substantial. I worry so much about finding a job and not using up my entire savings and what my Dad left me. I am taking care of myself, but it's been very hard to go through all this alone and with my history.

As you said, everything happens for a reason. I pray that this too shall pass, and I'll find joy once again in life.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and caring.
Hot Street...you are a very special person. I too am going through the worst possible time in my life and your words have given me strength. I pray that you find the peace and joy that you so richly deserve.

Panda 123

I'm so touched that my post and words have helped you. Going through tough times can be lonely and scary. I just seem to recover from something and I'm hit again. I have always been a person with faith, but it's been hard. I sometimes don't understand why some people have so much pain and others don't. Perhaps we're being prepared for something that we can't see right now. All I know is sometimes the loneliness can be awful. Sometimes the hurt and fear can feel overwhelming. But for some reason, I've carried on even though it's been hard and I live in fear.

I miss my Dad so much. I miss knowing I'll never have sisters who truly love me. I have me, and I have to try with all my heart to not let go.

I am blessed that you responded to me. I pray you find peace. Thank you for your special comments!!!

How lucky the lady you mentioned in your post is to have you in her life. Let us know how this all turns out.

gmkb · ‎07-29-2012

I would expect that as you get to know this person better you will make the right decision about when to tell her about your experience.

i am so glad that you made a good recovery.

There is a member of my family that suffered with this in high school. She is doing well now, but it took a terrible lasting toll on her general health.

Unless someone has experienced this first hand or been close to someone who has experienced this illness, it is difficult to comprehend the impact this has on someone's life.

May God guide you through your decision process.