Among Friends

[Shanus]

---

@newname0 wrote:

I learned from my cousin recently that her 52 year old daughter, my godchild, had separated from her husband.  This was a shock to me as I felt that she had a good marriage.

Her husband was a Marine and I met him only once and from that I figured he was quite tough.

I myself think that her husband doesn't understand menapause which I believe my godchild is experiencing right now.  Her mother, my cousin, has been divorced two times and is really not a good marriage role model for her.

i'm sad that this marriage has been broken.  I saw his Facebook page and he is into motorcycles, dogs and Marine stuff.  He does have many pictures on there of his children but not any of my godchild.

What I'm trying to get to is that I think these younger people don't know how to handle midlife issues.  Their children have left the nest and only one younger girl remains in high school.

I think these younger people are not understanding of the changes that come with menapause and are confused in their feelings.

---

@newname0    I don't feel menopause or midlife anything can break up a strong, healthy marriage. If a couple can't work through the tougher times then it's sad, but maybe not a close enough bond to begin with. 

[scatcat]

You've met the husband once and you are "not in close contact with your godchild"

and "all you can do is speculate".  

You are really reaching pinning this on menopause.  Plus it's totally not your business.  Me thinks you need a hobby 

[mom2four0418]

---

@newname0 wrote:

I learned from my cousin recently that her 52 year old daughter, my godchild, had separated from her husband.  This was a shock to me as I felt that she had a good marriage.

Her husband was a Marine and I met him only once and from that I figured he was quite tough.

I myself think that her husband doesn't understand menapause which I believe my godchild is experiencing right now.  Her mother, my cousin, has been divorced two times and is really not a good marriage role model for her.

i'm sad that this marriage has been broken.  I saw his Facebook page and he is into motorcycles, dogs and Marine stuff.  He does have many pictures on there of his children but not any of my godchild.

What I'm trying to get to is that I think these younger people don't know how to handle midlife issues.  Their children have left the nest and only one younger girl remains in high school.

I think these younger people are not understanding of the changes that come with menapause and are confused in their feelings.

They are separated so I would not expect him to post pictures of her. Unless your godchild, a woman in her fifties, asks you for advice, your cousin should stop sharing private info with you.

---

[Foxxee]

@newname0 

Hormonal changes can cause behavioral changes, abrubt outbursts and irritation that the spouse may not be able to handle, so marital discord and separation could be the result.  It would take a lot of patience and understanding from the husband to live through it.

Of course, some women breeze through menopause with few symptoms and no problems.  

This couple may have been having problems before the onset, though, menopause throwing it over the edge.  

I don't think quite a few women fully understand what they are going through and I'd say most men don't, so thanks for bringing it to our attention.  

[CAcableGirl2]

@newname0   Marriages break up for many reasons, and if he was in the military, that can be especially tough on both parties. 

Perhaps he didn't want to be married any longer.  Or she wasn't happy.  Either way, there is a brand new life for her waiting out there and I wish her happiness.

I am also divorced after many, many years of marriage, many of which were miserable.  There is nothing wrong with either of us, we just want different things later in our lives. 

There is no hard feelings for either person, and it's worked out terrific for both of us, and hopefully this will be the case for her (and him). 

[LoveMyBaby]

---

@Foxxee wrote:

@newname0 

Hormonal changes can cause behavioral changes, abrubt outbursts and irritation that the spouse may not be able to handle, so marital discord and separation could be the result.  It would take a lot of patience and understanding from the husband to live through it.

Of course, some women breeze through menopause with few symptoms and no problems.  

This couple may have been having problems before the onset, though, menopause throwing it over the edge.  

I don't think quite a few women fully understand what they are going through and I'd say most men don't, so thanks for bringing it to our attention.  

---

@Foxxee So nicely stated and true.

[FrostyBabe1]

---

@LoveMyBaby wrote:

@newname0 

Menopause can be a really tough time in a woman's life. Very tough life cycle to get through. I feel for your godchild.

Please Ignore the right-out-of-the gate nasty responses ( I also like to take note of who 'hearts' their posts). 

---

Ohhhhh, I'm scared! I'm really, really scared. NOT. 

None of the responses were rude. The OP needs to stay out of other people's business. 

[hckynut]

@newname0 

Read your whole post and will only say this about any marriage. If only it were that simple!

hckynut(john)

[newname0]

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

---

@newname0 wrote:

Actually I called my cousin because she hadn't sent me a card for Christmas and I thought she was ill.  It was then that she told me she lost her alimony from her second husband and was now living in a rental house with my godchild.  I was surprised and asked why that was so and she told me that my godchild and her husband were separated;  She couldn't talk further because their son was home from the Marines and was within earshot.

I thought about calling her back  to get the full explanation but felt I would be considered nosy so I didn't.  I have no close contact with my godchild to have lunch with her so all I have done is speculation. 

Gossip, you thought about calling her back to get the down and dirty juicy gossip of the woman's personal business.  I would like to think that the woman's mother would not have endulged you in that way.  Yes, it's speculation on your part and it's an awful thing.  Although, I have to admit. Most people would not be so open about it as you are.  You seem to feel that you are entitled to know someone else's private information.  Someone you admit, you have no relationship with.  

---

---

Actually, Christaltree, I thought I was entitled to a Christmas card.  She always sent them.

[KingstonsMom]

---

@mom2four0418 wrote:

---

@newname0 wrote:

I learned from my cousin recently that her 52 year old daughter, my godchild, had separated from her husband.  This was a shock to me as I felt that she had a good marriage.

Her husband was a Marine and I met him only once and from that I figured he was quite tough.

I myself think that her husband doesn't understand menapause which I believe my godchild is experiencing right now.  Her mother, my cousin, has been divorced two times and is really not a good marriage role model for her.

i'm sad that this marriage has been broken.  I saw his Facebook page and he is into motorcycles, dogs and Marine stuff.  He does have many pictures on there of his children but not any of my godchild.

What I'm trying to get to is that I think these younger people don't know how to handle midlife issues.  Their children have left the nest and only one younger girl remains in high school.

I think these younger people are not understanding of the changes that come with menapause and are confused in their feelings.

They are separated so I would not expect him to post pictures of her. Unless your godchild, a woman in her fifties, asks you for advice, your cousin should stop sharing private info with you.

---

---

@mom2four0418 

So true!

Another post on this thread by the OP saying that her cousin couldn't tell her more because someone else was "within earshot", shows that she knows she was violating a trust.

We valued privacy and knew that if a family member going through a crisis in their lives needed us or wanted to talk about it, they would approach us.

If they didn't, we respected their privacy by not speculating or discussing it.