Among Friends

[Bhvbum]

I had a smart husband.

I also passed the information on to my sons, if they ever had to buy presents for their significant others. I would hate for them to learn the hard way, LOL. 

My sister's husband early in their marriage gave her a pair of red and white striped flannel pajamas for Christmas with feet in them, she was furious.  

[beach-mom]

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@ECBG wrote:

@beach-mom 

We were at the very beginning of our marriage and I told him anything for the house was in no way a gift for me!  He would find it on top of his head!

I think we must have been shopping or it may have been a holiday where someone else got an appliance or dish.

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You trained him well from the beginning. DH was pretty generous - until we had children. The jewelry slowed down for a while. That was OK, and he did give me kitchen appliances, but they were always ones I wanted, like the Kitchen Aid stand mixer. 

[ECBG]

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@beach-mom wrote:

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@ECBG wrote:

@beach-mom 

We were at the very beginning of our marriage and I told him anything for the house was in no way a gift for me!  He would find it on top of his head!

I think we must have been shopping or it may have been a holiday where someone else got an appliance or dish.

---

You trained him well from the beginning. DH was pretty generous - until we had children. The jewelry slowed down for a while. That was OK, and he did give me kitchen appliances, but they were always ones I wanted, like the Kitchen Aid stand mixer. 

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@beach-mom 

Of course if you ASK, it's a different thing all together!

[jeanlake]

Boy, it's been 42 years and hubs was relieved 40 years ago when I asked him not to make any gift decisions without talking to me first and I would do the same for him. After we bought our first home, mid 20s (our ages, not 1920s), he couldn't stop buying me dumb stuff to hang on the walls or dust-collector chatchke/knicknacks to sit around. Ugh, I don't do 'sit around' stuff. Wall stuff was signage like - WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE -- I LOVE KOUNTRY (stop with cutsie spellings) and PRAYING HANDS AND ANGEL STUFF. He had a cousin who made ugly wreaths so he was good for one of those a year. After getting his gifts I really needed those praying hands. Oh, and even though hanging macrame was passe in the early 80s, he found some. Our first garage sale, I placed his impulse gifts for me on the sale table with this sign: Free or best offer. Thus, our discussion about checking with one another first before buying gifts. I will say he's a stylish dresser and does okay with purchasing outerwear for me - like cardigan and jean jacket. In earlier years for anniversary, we'd have lunch and exchange cards with $100 bills. Then off to the mall to buy for ourselves then end the day at the movie theatre. That was fun. I kinda miss it.       

[tarsmom]

This year we made a donation to a charity in lieu of gifts.

He knows I want a dog in the spring.  

He also knows do not buy me anything for the house - boring!

He cooks (not all the time but often) and vacuums - I'd rather have that.

IF he does buy me gifts, it's gift cards for a massage (he doesn't give good ones lol).

Us ladies have to let the guys know what we like/don't like 

Spoiler

[AngelPuppy1]

Being surprised at Christmas or birthdays is not always a good thing and usually is not!  I think it's great when DH asks me WHAT I want and then listens and actually buys it!  In the past, he tended to get me things which he would want to receive and thought were useful, but were less than thrilling to me!  I am not good at hiding my feelings, and I never wanted to hurt his feelings, so we eventually came to an understanding and now it's all good!  And --- if in doubt --- gift cards are the key!  Some might take offense by this, but I sure don't!  Why waste money, time and effort buying things which are not needed or wanted?? 

[Annabellethecat66]

@Pook  OMG!  You need to be friends with me.  I love giving people gifts they can use but had no idea they needed or wanted it.

Sometimes I think I’m channeling my mother.

I’d go over her house and she’d pull out things, I swear even she didn’t know what “it” was.

I’d be like,  “Mother it’s ...it’s cute...but... um what is “it” and what do I do with “it”?

She’d start laughing ( buying herself some time) then say, “Lin, it’s a ...it’s a coffee creamer thingy that also measures stuff.”

I’d say, “Mother...it’s kinda small.  It doesn’t hold anything...it has a hole in it.”

Mother’d say, “as soon as I saw it, I knew you needed it”.  Hummmm.....

So....If you came over to my house...and you see me leave the room...you can expect to find me cleaning out my cabinet, looking for some useless stuff I think you’ll need...

Mother would be so proud of me for finding a home for her (I’ll let you figure that one out).

[chrystaltree]

I had that problem my first few years of marriage and then I took matters into my own hands.  Around mid October, hubby and I decide on a price range and we give each other a list of 5 things we would like for Christmas.  Depending on the amount, we choose one or two things from the list.  That way, we get something that we really want but we are still surprised when we open our gift.  We've done it that way for the past 25 or 26 years.