Among Friends

[Bridgegal]

@NickNack   Thanks.  I'll bet he looks better.   Nice of him to do.

[Sooner]

Have you read the stories from the woman who had an affair with him when she was 24, now is in her 40's and is claiming she is a victim?  She admits it consenual and she knew he was married, and was in the process of leaving the show but still had an affair with him. . . poor thing she was "young" and thinks she didn't know better.

Now what in this world is wrong with that?  I thought the whole idea was that women were smarter and more powerful and more responsible for themselves than the little women of the past that needed to be protected by men.  So are we now saying that affairs are the fault of men?  Men flirt and make suggestions and you're helpless, unable to resist?  

Thats what concerns me.  The message young girls are getting.  That it's someone else's fault, and if you give in to save your job or advance yourself at work, well gee you have no other option.  Like saying "NO you perv!" and walking out.   

[persiflage]

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@ROMARY wrote:

' I don't know ', it just seems to me that 'something's not right' with people in public positions who don't make any attempt at all to keep their lives in some sort of ethical manner.   Lots of 'regular' folks try our best to be civil, ethical, etc.  And we aren't even in the 'public's eye', so to speak.  Why not certain others?   Maybe some type of meds that remove all inhibitions?  ........... It's a mystery (to me) that will remain until the end of time, I guess.   Let's hope that 2018 will bring better news. 

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I think it will always be with us and any population we can define has people that will abuse their power (whatever form that power is in) and exploit/victimize others.  Creating awareness and consequences is part of change.  We have arrived at the time that people who have been unable in the past (for any number of reasons) are now coming forward with their stories. 

Many businesses have had rules and guidelines in place for years but if there are poor managers that don't take them seriously it can be useless.  Dismissing reported actions or looking the other way allows those behaviors to flourish and eventually as victims realize they have a voice elsewhere the company and managers will pay the consequence.  When enough companies have to pay out or enough careers/lives are ruined change will come.  The people that don't take it seriously and blame the victims don't want their loved one or company to be damaged so they start changing behaviors.

Seeing the opinions expressed on this forum shows us the different attitudes that exist and helps explain the difficulty that has existed for victims to be heard.   

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Perkup wrote:

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@Perkup wrote:

I am neither accusing or defending. But do any of us actually know what Matt Lauer is supposed to have done?  All I have heard is what is on tv, which is nothing specific. Just that he's out.

I have reached a sort of notion of my own about these many  allegations. Not just this one. I think that if something happens it should be reported right away - not 5, 10, 20 or more years later.  If it was bad enough to be true harrassment, it should be reported within a year, or not at all.Keeps these fame seekers (and many of them are nothing more) from jumpiing on the band wagon years later. At least that's getting to be my opinion. Perhaps no one agrees with me, but that's ok.  We're all entitled to our own opinions. 

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@Perkup

First, NBC or any other employer has no obligation whatsoever to reveal the specifics of reported assaults, sexual harassment,  or other actions deemed to be unacceptable by their employees.  

Secondly, why do people think that when a woman comes forward to report a sexual assault that she is looking for FAME?   Who gets FAMOUS from that?   I wish someone could list the women who get famous (in a good way) from reporting a crime.

It's so easy to chastize women by saying that if she didn't immediately report something, then it must not be true.  If the perpetrator is the boss, or a very high up individual, many will assume that nothing will be done.  In many cases, that is absolutely correct.  

It's human nature for sexual assault victims to be reluctant to report a crime ....  statistics say that only 15 to 35 percent of these crimes are ever reported, so this needs to be seriously considered.  (see link for explanation)  

My guess is that when one or two women come forward with a recent assault, past victims are moved to speak up to give corroboration to the original complaint(s), and NOT because they are looking for "fame".   (When one woman accused Cosby, many people dismissed it.  When the number jumped to 60 women, the very similar patterns & facts in their reports made it impossible to ignore.)

https://ocrsm.umd.edu/files/Why-Is-Sexual-Assault-Under-Reported.pdf

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Thanks for your colorful respose.  While I do not agree with you in any way, you have a right to your opinion as I do.  I assume you were there when Matt Lauer crossed the line. I wasn't, thus I have no idea what he is supposed to have done.  I still think there should be a time limit on accusations, and feel that those who do not report these things when they happen have made a conscious decision to be silent. I reserve the right to my opinion, which you have tried to belittle.  So thanks, but no thanks for your response. You have conviced me of nothing. As I said in the beginning, I am neither accusing or defending. Happy New Year and continue to use those colors.  Very impressive!

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Oh good grief ....  Well, of course you have a right to your opinions, but it very conveniently ignores human nature and the typical response of victims.   Just how does this help anyone?  How does this help to identify and prosecute perpetrators?   Some states that have a statute of limitations are considering removing them.   

Example ... a woman may suffer an attack and not immediately report it to police.  However, she might very well tell her close friends or family ... or seek psychological help.  Or they may seek ER help and not reveal the circumstances.  Investigators now take these situations into consideration and interview people who were confided in, and make a determination.

Not every victim of a crime instantly reports it to LE ... that doesn't mean it didn't happen.  

Have a nice day.

[ValuSkr]

Sad that Matt is disheveled now; I hope he gets it together for his kids' sake.  Maybe he'll be featured eventually on 60 Minutes or one of its genre.

[BeccaLou]

Auntg, What else could he be but depressed unless he really is a goofball!!

[Katcat1]

@Reever  I personally have been with ABC for many years now.  I never cared for Matt he reminds me of Heckle & Jeckle.  I never heard that his wife filed for divorce.  Did she?  He has enough money where he does not have to work but to lose is job for the reasons he did, he should be ashamed of himself and embarrassed for himself and his family.  What a jerk!  What is it with men and power & money?  Do they actually think they can say or do whatever they want?  It's about time all this abuse is coming out.  

[Grand Happy]

The day before he was fired I pointed to the T.V. said

" he's next" I kid you not. It was the way he was reporting on the latest abusers, he looked scared!

I feel bad for his kids  

[KathyPet]

I am not a Ann Curry fan.  I agree with the poster who said she does not have the required skills for the job.  I have watched her do several interviews with famous people and found her soft ball questions and adoring behavior to be a real turn off.  She hardly meets the criteria for serious journalism.

[Imaoldhippie]

@sarnrse................I respectfully disagree, I dont think Matt will ever recover, (example Tiger Woods).  He will loose so much money with lawyers and alimony, with no income.  He will probably not be out on the street.  But he will never recover fully, both financially nor mentally.