Among Friends

[Tinkrbl44]

@White Picket Fence 

I've had you on my mind, and wanted to see how you're doing. 

I think you've gotten some good feedback ... hopefully it didn't overwhelm you.

Let us know how you're doing, okay?   

[Greeneyedlady21]

@White Picket Fence The first thing I would tell you is to not pay attention to people who don't understand emotional abuse. Doing that will make you question what you already know in your head and heart is the truth. Find a therapist who does understand it, and who understands anxiety as well and can help you with it. Emotional abuse is insidious and it beats you down in every possible way. 

But you are worth it and you can do it. It's not going to be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. That is a cliche that is definitely true. Think about getting to the point where you can look back and say I did that,  I put myself first for once and look what I accomplished. Not driving is not an important issue, as many others have said there are other options. Saving yourself is important.

Rooting for you

[Luvsmyfam]

@White Picket Fence I've been in the same boat,but believe me,it does get better.

[Q4u]

I agree with the posters who suggested going through a divorce.  But I'd like to mention your anxiety attacks (panic attacks)..... I'd suggest seeing a therapist who specializes in panic attacks.  In that regard, I've been there and it is something that needs to be dealt with.  They can make everything else you do seem very hard, even impossible, but they can be controlled, even gotten rid of...even when one starts, I am in control and can shut it down.  I know because I haven't had an attack in years now.  After they are controlled, and you are in charge, you will be amazed at how strong you'll feel, how much in control of  your life.   I wish you the very, very best!!    

[Effie54]

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@RetRN wrote:

That example is like comparing apples and oranges. You even said your friend was abusive towards her husband. OP is the one being abused here so she needs to get out and move on with her life. 

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Exactly, right! That made no sense. Complete opposite of what the OP is going through. But many people don't really want the advice, they just want to be heard. It would take a strong person to stand up and not be taken advantage of. If not, we'll.......life is going to be miserable day after day. 

[Effie54]

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@shoesnbags wrote:

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

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@Zhills wrote:

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

I am sorry this is a difficult situation for you...my only advice is to get the ball rolling and have him served after you are out of the house.  

How many times have we read that a woman tells her husband she is leaving him and ends up losing her life at the hands of her husband because he is angry.  It may sound far fetched but it happens..stay safe.

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You don't move out because the law says that is "desserting" and gives him an advantage!

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@Zhills  Your comment to my reply...'desserting'....I am confused.

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@Mom2Dogs 

Maybe this depends on which state you live in, but I've heard this, too.  The idea is that the one who leaves the home first can be charged with "desertion" and it affects your legal rights in the divorce.  I know nothing else about how it all works, but that's what @Zhills is talking about.

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Not in all cases. There are extenuating circumstances here. So....what would be the alternative? Stay and be bullied and abused? I don't think so. 

[Puzzle Piece]

Never despair.  You have a lot of support here from your lady posters. Lots of Health insurance or community services offer rides to seniors and those that need them for various resons.   

I divorced when I was in my early 20's.  Never was happier.  I was working but not making money and that was okay because I would have slept on the streets and been happy just to know I wasn't with that guy.  He stalked me and threatended me and I still stayed strong.  Scared of him but strong.  I asked for nothing! I left him with everything and he was still was angry.  I've been married to my real husband for 41 years now and am glad I had the courage to leave an unhappy marriage. 

[White Picket Fence]

Love4cats- I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing. Are you going to move forward? If not, what's holding you back. I ask because were I'm most likely moving on, I hope you can find your peace, and wish you the strength to get to that place. Thank you for your kind response. All the best to you ~

[White Picket Fence]

KBEANS- Thank you so much. 

[White Picket Fence]

Chiclets- Thank you for your kind words and advice. There really are so many kind people out here. They are wonderful. I won't be taking up driving at this point. This area is just to crazy with drivers. I'd rather not do that. But what you said about what would I do if he died is something I have told myself. Yes, I'd be in the same boat and alone. Have to leave this house and start over. So I tell myself this and figure why wait. I should go now while I'm at least 66 and not 72 or later. Thank you all for being here. Much love~