Making new friends when retired

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

I retired a few years earlier than most of my friends and coworkers....they are in a whole different circle now than me and I find myself on the outside looking in....how do you make friends after you retire and no longer are involved with those you worked with for so many years? I have attempted to make contact with my former coworkers with no response. Invited them to dinner...nothing. Guess they are just too busy for me now.

GusMo · ‎07-11-2012

I retired last summer. I still see a couple of my former coworkers. I have become better friends with a woman from my book club. I have started taking yoga classes and have met some wonderful people there. I’d say classes, volunteering, maybe a book club through the library. Good luck. I love not working!

Kitlynn · ‎03-09-2010

When I retired we also moved to our dream home. So I have made a couple of really great friends in the neighborhood and then I also still do things with a couple of really good old friends. So it is a balance. However I love just doing my own thing also now that I am retired.

elated · ‎06-09-2010

You could try a Senior Center where they have a variety of activities.

TX YellowRose · ‎03-12-2018

That is really a great question. I had to quit working when I was 52 to take care of my husband who had a stroke. I fully expected to go back to work because I loved what I did. (social service, non-profits) Like you stated, work was also where I developed my social cirlcle and friendships, but that does change when you leave.

Life took differen twists and turns and I never did return to work. My DH is 13 years older than I. After his stroke he never was able to resume working and he loved his job as much as I did.

It took us a while just getting used to both of us being together ALL the time. I relish my alone time.

To answer your question: We started going to the pool. We both love the water and it was a great rehab exercise for DH. We were not looking for friendships but we met like minded people there and we developed some great friends at the pool. Also, we took "senior" trips that were provided by the city free in the Houston area for any senior group. Also there are AARP groups, church groups, Senior Center goups etc. We met and made so many wonder friends that way.

Give it time, friendships will just happen organically when start going to activities that you are interested in.

Good luck in your retirement, it's the beginning of so many new adventures for you !

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

Volunteering is an wonderful way to meet others & make friends, that's what I did after my husband died & all the friends we had as a couple drifted away...their so happy to see you out & about but since you're a single you aren't invited to couple activities anymore. I was deeply hurt but moved on & happily found that helping others has helped me....I hope it can help you too.

Lilysmom · ‎03-09-2010

@lovesrecess, I agree with other posters. Get involved in your community in some way. I moved to my home 13 years ago, got active and now have a wider circle of friends. Don’t just look for people your age. I work on three committees and have met a lot of people that way.

Don’t expect your work friends to be major players in your life now that you are retired. You will probably maintain certain key relationships from work if they are important to you but this is a new time in your life and you should be looking to make new connections.

Join the gym, hit the library, go to the Community Center if you have one. Have a pet ... they are wonderful for making connections. My Lab and I go every noon time during the week to let another Lab out for a bathroom break. We love her family.

Good luck on this new part of your life. Happy retirement! LM

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

I think it is very hard to make friends after retirment. Everyone seems to have their friends, family, and grandchildren all in place and don't need or want new friends. I meet people who are very nice but are happy with the people already in their life that they have known forever.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

I'm newly retired and I haven't really reached that point where you are at yet. I am still enjoying my new found freedom and just relaxing and enjoying spending time with DH!

However, I can understand where you are coming from! I have heard several other people say when they retired or quit working at the same place, that they no longer felt they had much in common with the people they thought were friends and people were just not keeping in touch with them or finding time to get together. I think a lot of times its work that is the common thread. I'm not saying that happens all the time and that people don't form genuine friendships with people they work with.

I think there are great suggestions from the other posters here. I would suggest a lot of the same things --- join an exercise class, a craft class, cooking class. Or volunteer. How about an animal shelter or senior center. A local library often needs volunteers for various things.

Best wishes!

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

I had to retire early in my 50’s because of pain and I started water aerobics. I am part of a great community. We all get together a few times a year outside of the pool to have lunch. I learn about new volunteer projects from my friends and book clubs, too. It’s opened up a whole new world for me.