Among Friends

[Shanus]

No need for replies. Your love and support has been shown in previous posts. Just thought some may be wondering what’s happening with her journey. Hospice nurse explained that without much kidney function, other organs can take over the job of filtering toxins from the body...way too medical when she explained it, but that’s how much I understood. 

Mom’s at skilled nursing, bedridden, barely eating or drinking....just a few spoons of soup and sleeps most of the time. She’s lost 40 lbs. from her small frame since Thanksgiving and looks frail and slight. Her memory is in and out...so far remembering family members who visit. I sit on her bed, brush her hair, cut and file her nails, just talk about anything and everything for the few moments she’s awake and can pay attention. I feel she and others in her condition are sorely missing the human touch...not just a nurse checking blood pressure. I remembered this with my Dad and how calm he looked when I put my hand on the side of his face or kissed his cheek. Mom seems to like holding my hands...still quite a grip...often falling asleep that way and I have to pry myself loose.

I bring her photos of the Girls (her only great grandchildren) and she smiles while kissing their pictures. I’ve also brought pictures of Dad and my younger brother who passed away. Some may feel she’d be sad, but I thought it’d bring her comfort knowing she would be with them again soon. 

We’re spending every weekend packing up her apartment...only 30 days to clear it out. She had enormous amounts of shoes/clothing....her walk in closet and took Dad’s closet over in second bedroom as soon as she felt comfortable giving his clothing away. Everyone else dressed in jogging suits and maybe a dressier top for Sat. night dinner, but Mom continued to wear her CHICO jackets/pants day and evening...the brighter and more sparkly the better. That was her style. Lots of flash and liked to make an entrance even at breakfast. Sadly, for that reason, there was little clothing I could take for myself. 

I did load my car with a beautiful iron scrolled bottom sofa table with glass top...always loved it. Helped her choose it maybe 25 yrs. ago. I also have some simple crystal pieces from the china cabinet, and of course all the jewelry for remembrance.

So, we wait. Every time the phone rings and I see her area code, my heart sinks. The inevitable is near, but I’m still not prepared to accept it. How lonely it will be without parents or siblings. There’ll be no one who knew my childood...the little Shanus. 

Thank you again for those who expressed their concern for how I was doing. As the weeks went by, I needed to re-enter my life, the gym, friends...especially my friends here. I’m so grateful for all of you.

[NicksmomESQ]

  You’re not only a good daughter but a very strong woman.I feel your pain.I went through it with both my parents.Life unfortunately happens & we have no control over how it happens.But we do control how we respond. Stay loving & strong.💐

   I will continue to pray for both you & your mother.

[LTT1]

@Shanus

Thank you for the update....

[2blonde]

@Shanus  I know you didn't ask for replles, but how can I not reply to your post?  Your dear mother couldn't have asked for a more devoted and loving daughter.

I think I understand a little about how you feel about being left with no living relatives.  I'm the middle of 3 girls.  My parents are both long gone (mom died when I was only 20), and my older sister passed many years ago too.  All that's left is my 10 years younger sister and me.  Thankfully, we love each other and are close, but I know that for whichever of us leaves first, the other will feel a lot like you do.  Bless you my dear lady, and remember you will still have your friends here.  

[aroc3435]

@Shanus  So good of you to give us the update.  We are still all here for you and thinking of you.  I am continuing to keep you, your family and dear Mother in my heart and prayers.

[lavenderfields]

Shanus, your posts about your situation with your mother are so touching.   I was so close to my own Mother and Grandmother, who are gone now, and I miss them every day.   

How blessed your mother is to have you as her daughter.  Your parents sound like wonderful, loving people who raised a very special woman.   You have quite a gift for writing and have reminded me how precious life is and that we should never take anything or anyone for granted.  Thank you for reminding me to love extravagantly.  

May The Lord bless and keep you and make His face to shine upon you.

[bootsanne]

@Shanus  You seem to be a very loving, thoughtful daughter.  It would be difficult to see a beloved Mother to go through her end of life.  My mother died suddenly when I was 26 and it still saddens me to this day.  My last surviving sister was put into hospice Sunday.  She has a very aggressive Alzheimers and her daughter has been dealing with it by herself for 3 years now.  We're 1700 miles apart.  Hospice is wonderful with the kindest, most caring nurses.  I'm hoping my sister goes quickly because her body is breaking down rapidly.  If it's any comfort, at least we know our loved ones are in hospice care. 

[Bird mama]

[chiclets]

My heart weeps for your struggles but smiles for your spirit and love. May the angels watch over all of you.

[dex]

@Shanus@Thank you for thinking of us during this tough time in your life.I hope that your mom will pass quickly without pain.I know that sounds wrong but I am going through some things with my mom too and the stress of it all is hard.I too fear that phone call and find myself startled by the ring.I can no longer happily answer calls from her number but with a heavy heart.