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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,519
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

Same situation for me too.  

 

I also have one longtime friend that I just don’t connect well with anymore.   After her last visit, I actually wondered “who was that?”  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,598
Registered: ‎10-01-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

I understand your point @Shanus .  My best friend moved to Az. a few years ago,I'm in the Chicago area.  My other good friend passed away from a brain tumor.  The neighborhood I live in has changed,mostly young families now.  We're the old folks now.  I don't make friends easily,always an introvert.

But I have my daughter relatively close and we do thing alot together.  She has tons of friends.  My husband has a group of buddies he gets together with weekly.  But at this stage,I'm pretty satisfied with my life. I have my dogs and a large home and yard to keep me pretty busy.

 

 

Trees are the lungs of the Earth
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,213
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

It is just a fact we can’t make “old” friends when we ourselves are old.  Not enough time.  As our circle gets smaller due to moving and death, we can only keep memories of our enjoined paths and smile to them.

 

i finally realized that of the eight members of my wedding (close friends and family) I am the only one left.  Odd that there is no one to remember it anymore.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,305
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND


@Shanus wrote:

I don’t know whether I’m happy or sad to read I’m not alone in this predicament. 


 

 

I think at any stage of our lives, we do best to accept & be content.    Life changes all the time, acceptance & contentment doesn't mean sit home & mope or be resentful of the twists & turns.   (not saying you are, just saying)

 

I'm an only child, now widowed & live alone.

I'm fortunate to have a home I love, even though it's old.   I always have some project inside or out to work on.    I have grown children close & grandchildren, my immediate family is my joy, but they are busy, we try to get together at least once a week.

 

My parents are gone, every aunt & uncle gone, most of my cousins are gone.  I'm retired.   My health is not good and like another poster mentioned, it's hard to plan anything when you don't know if you will get out of bed that day.

 

A male family member and I get together sometimes for lunch & short travel.      It's comfortable.    He's in even worse shape than I am, so even that has been curtailed.

 

I'm not interested in dating or marriage.   I nursed one husband until he passed, not doing that again.

 

Oh yeah and I'm butler to 2 cats!

 

When I want to do something, I just go do it.   Eat out, travel, shop, whatever.   It's nicer with someone but I can do these things alone.   For me, out-living everyone is better than the alternative

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,249
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

I'm in a different boat.  DH & I are homebodies every since we've been married (33 years) 

 

I'm a CSR. I talk to about 500 people a week.  I don't don't mind not hearing another voice. I do feel bad that I don't talk to my family a lot. I just need as much quite time as possible.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,538
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

[ Edited ]

@Shanus  Two of my very best friends passed away young. 51 and 56.  I miss them so very much.  I still work 50 hours a week, commute, family commitments. Me and my SO are content being homebodies.  Still try to meet fairly good girlfriends once a month.  It’s getting harder and harder to connect.  Some have new grandchildren. I don’t. I get it, but would a few dinners a few times a year be that hard to fit in?     I’ve always been one to make my own happiness.  I can do most anything alone.  Sometimes it’s not worth the continued effort.

 

Its ok to drift apart.  People change.  Some are retired most of us still work. (I’m 58).  Good to see them when I do, but if it stopped 100%, I think I would be fine.  And I think I really have more acquaintances than the small circle of great friends that I once had.  

 

Also want to ask how are you doing lately, I think of you often. Sometimes I think of the great people on these boards and just wish to lunch with some of YOU.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,605
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND


@Jamma wrote:

You lose friends when you become a widow.  


@Jamma ...ain't that the truth. I am recently finding that out.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,605
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

This is a sad and heart wrenching thread to read, but unfortunately, it is reality.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.
Contributor
Posts: 25
Registered: ‎06-02-2014

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

I agree with you one hundred percent...use my energy for taking care of my unit and husband ...little energy for socializing...it wears me out.  I’m content with my interests.

all my friends have pasted away or moved to be near children.  I used to lunch,play cards, belong to committees but no more ...I miss it all ...but at 87 I’m thankful for what was. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,605
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND


@Juval wrote:

I agree with you one hundred percent...use my energy for taking care of my unit and husband ...little energy for socializing...it wears me out.  I’m content with my interests.

all my friends have pasted away or moved to be near children.  I used to lunch,play cards, belong to committees but no more ...I miss it all ...but at 87 I’m thankful for what was. 


@Juval ...(((Hugs)))

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.