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Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,056
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND


@dex wrote:

@hckynut @I am a very light sleeper who has difficulty falling asleep.My dh wakes me often for one reason or another and then I find myself tossing and turning.I do kick myself in the butt most days but I am not the fun,entertaining person that I once was.I find myself in survival mode at times when I haven’t slept much.I used to draw people like flies as my dh likes to say but I find myself withdrawing now.I am vacationing  with 16 friends at this time but I find that I would prefer a quieter vacation.


 

@dex   I’ve always had difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep...even as a child. My physician put me on Melatonin nightly an hour before bedtime. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I’ll take sleep 50% of the time over none at all. She said it’s safe without side effects of prescription sleep meds.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,160
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

@ShanusAfter my first year of joining, I'm still happy to be involved with our local Senior Center.  If you might have one, check it out.  I've got new friends now and it's nice to see them each week.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,310
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

@Shanus  Oh yes!  I have posted about this exact situation a time or two.

There is nothing like a close girl friend or two....and mine have moved away....retired and moved closer to children.  One was my neighbor for 30+years the other I met at work and remained close after she left the job.

 

I have another two friends that I have known since childhood (all my friends are friends of many, many years)....one in particular seems to have gotten more difficult with age, while we still see each other in a group setting, I have just pulled back from the relationship...no matter what you say, she has a quick, smart answer back.....it gets old, but we have a long history together and I don't see us parting ways....the relationship has just changed.

 

I really miss the other two women, they were such easy relationships, lunch, shopping, a little whine and wine and chit chat thrown in....those friends cannot be replaced.  

 

Other people I know are very involved with their kids, grandkids, since I do not have children, I do not understand the over involvement in their lives...literally they know EVERYTHING that their kids do as well as the grands..it occupies most conversations.

 

It is very difficult to make good friends as we age.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,504
Registered: ‎05-22-2014

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

Yes, I can certainly relate.  One of my “sister friends” passed several years ago.  The two remaining “sister friends” live far away, and we stay in touch by phone.  Other women here I had relationships with, people I enjoyed doing things with, have moved.  

 

Most people at or around a certain age in age are very busy with families and friends, and it is hard to find someone who is interested in spending time with a new person.  My children and GC live in the area, but are very busy with fast-paced lives.  We do get together, but there is still a void.  My DH and I spend much time together, but I miss having a close girlfriend in the area.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

@dex 

 

I think because I started working as a Car Hop when I  was 12 years old spelled out my ability to function with very little sleep. I was in the 7th Grade at the time I started working there. Worked 4-5 nights a week, week nights till 12:30am, home about 1:15am. Left for school at 8:15am.

 

Sleep? Very little at a pretty young age. When I started working at Western Electric in 1958, I work both night shifts(4 to midnight and Midnight to 8). Graveyard Shift not conducive to sleeping at the same, or regular hours every morning/afternoon, or evening, whichever fit your schedule for that day.

 

My best sleep times were 4-5 hours. More than that was counterproductive for me. Never took NoDoz to stay awake on Graveyard, and have never, ever taken any sleep aid. If I  can't sleep? I have always gotten up and done something, which I was never unable to find.

 

Guess that was the way my life was meant to be, and continues to this day/night.

 

I have slept in a recliner for at least close to 30 years. Not even in the same room with my wife. Waiting to marry at age 62 and having a bed to myself probably was helpful also. Nothing to wake me up except maybe a cat or 2, but very seldom.

 

 

 

hckynut

hckynut(john)
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,889
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

[ Edited ]

I am 72. My husband is 76, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He is still OK in terms of interaction but he will not ever get better. We just said good-bye to our dear friends. I have known her since we were six years old. She married a man from the Netherlands and has lived there for decades. We have all remained close despite the miles but I don’t know if my husband and I will be able to make another trip to Holland. Our friends made the long trip up to where we live and we all had a wonderful time together. We already miss each other terribly.

 

Most of my dearest friends live elsewhere...California, North Carolina, Florida, and Europe. I do have local friends but the oldest friends are the dearest friends. We have all done our best to maintain these precious friendships but we all wish that we lived closer to each other.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,835
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

My BFF (truly was) died in December, 2017, after a three-year decline with Lewy Body Dementia.  We were like two peas in a pod and did everything together as our kids were growing up and long after they flew the coop.

 

I don't have any close friends now ... one neighbor and I talk occasionally, but that's about it.  I really miss that camaraderie one has with a girl friend of many years.  I have sisters but are not all that close anymore.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,835
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

I'm sitting here listening to music from the past on old-time radio ... Mills Brothers right now.   

 

Anyway, this thread is making me cry ... 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,056
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND


@SoX wrote:

I'm sitting here listening to music from the past on old-time radio ... Mills Brothers right now.   

 

Anyway, this thread is making me cry ... 


 

@SoX   Awh. Didn’t intend to bring anyone down. 😢

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,835
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: MANY FRIENDS NO LONGER AROUND

@Shanus 

 

Oh, you didn't ... just thinking about things after reading others' situations ... 

 

We all have miles to go before we sleep ... being thankful for the memories.