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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,277
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

If you are lucky enough to find love and happiness at any age you are a fortunate person.  However, later in life you have to know it will be different than when you were young.  The sad truth is that the older we get the more illness and disability and of course life is shorter.  My grandmother married in her 70s and her husband was more of a caretaker than a husband.  I am sure he wanted to cut and run but he was a decent man and stuck it out. She got sick after a couple of years together.  Another friend did that and she is a caretaker too.  Just enjoy each others company for as long as it lasts.  

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 134
Registered: ‎03-26-2017

Love is great but remember there are predators looking for women to con, steal, lie.

Super Contributor
Posts: 261
Registered: ‎11-14-2017

@Bettyanne - if you think it's right for you, go for it!💗

Valued Contributor
Posts: 660
Registered: ‎04-05-2018

If you don't have any bad vibes when you're with him and you enjoy it and have a lot of fun and laughter, go for it. Any bad vibes just walk away

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,757
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

I think love can happen at any age and it's a wonderful thing, not to be thrown away lightly.  However marriage is an entirely different matter.  Love doesn't automatically lead to marriage.  My bff is 74, she's looking for love. Looking for someone special but she has always said marriage is off the table for her.  Even living together is off the table for her.  She has quite well off, it's not about that, there are ways to protect resources.  Her concern is she doesn't want marry someone and end up being his caretaker and nurse.  She doesn't want to spend the this phase of life taking care of someone or watching someone decline.  Women are not naive or stupid today.  While people are open to love and romance in their 70's and 80's now; they understand the potential pitfalls of marrying late in life. And there are a lot of them.    

Valued Contributor
Posts: 689
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

@marchingalong123 wrote:

Love is great but remember there are predators looking for women to con, steal, lie.


@marchingalong123  I don't like to be a downer, but you are correct.  My mother lived in a condo.  Her neighbor was a widow for over 24 years and a retired stockbroker (i.e., no dummy, right?)  She met a lovely man, he wined and dined her, brought her flowers, they went dancing, etc.  She was thrilled, of course - who wouldn't want to meet someone special like that?

 

Fast forward, he gave her a diamond, they got married, she put him on her bank account and he ran.  She found out later the 'diamond' was a fake.

 

After an entire career in banking, I can honestly say I would never get married again.  If something happens to my man, that's it for me.  

 

One more tidbit - my mom belonged to a ladies card group - there were 6 of them. - all widows.  Other than my mom (my dad passed at 79) every lady lost her spouse before age 50 and not one of them remarried.  

 

But I do believe you can have a relationship with someone again - just as long as you keep your $$ separate.  (Lots of people don't know, if you add someone to your bank account, they can take all of it except the last few dollars).  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,675
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

I agree with all the positive statements however I'll leave these famous words.... "Trust (and love) but verify".....

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*
Super Contributor
Posts: 470
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Three words:  Sex Offender Registry.

 

 

For your state. Look up "Megan's Law __________(your state)" or Sex offender registry" for your state. If you live close to a border with another state, check thiers too.

 

I know I will check  if I ever meet "someone new".  And if you look in your own state's registry, be prepared to be surprised at how close or if you even know one of themon the list. You may be shocked! 

 

I live in a town of 9000 people and there are a LOT on the registry, and a few near me. THese are creeples I probably pass in aisle 6 in Walmart!!!

 

 

Anyway...I hope you have a great friendship and who knows where it will go....BUT....today there is NO EXCUSE not to protect yourself first.

 

Trust....but verify!!!

 

I always advise people to do a background check....and then I say...I SURE WILL ( if I meet someone new!!!) I personally like living alone and have TWO male friends who live 400 and 200 miles away. We talk by phone almost daily. They don't want to move...they like alone too!!! So it works...

 

But if I ever meet anyone here "in person"....you can bet I'll background check and registry check. And, I expect them to do the same about me.

 

NO ONE wants a grifter, a cad, a thief, or a sexual predator, or worse, a child predator. 

 

And unfortunately, they're out there. You fall for someone, and when you find out, you think you can "change them". Or you think you can face it when someone you meet knows them and starts the rumor mill going about YOU.

 

And like another poster said: LEAVE YOUR MONEY and CREDIT CARDS at home.    

 

If he asks to "borrow" cause he's a little short....it's too late. He's made you.

 

Do you own your own home? Do you own a nice car? Does he? An adult should have SOMETHING of equal value to you....that could be a tip off too.....

 

 

Hate to be so suspicious. I can't sleep many nights and binge on the ID network, OXYGEN and OWN......All those true crime stories!!!

 

Add a little Dr. Phil with the catfish shows, and I am very leery of people. "I sent a million dollars to this nice man who's trapped in Nigeria!!!"

 

So many ways to grift today, and for them to find out stuff about YOUR background and play on YOU. ( Especially if you post your life and problems on Facebook!!) for a conman to worm his way into your life.

 

Good Luck!!!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,325
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

@Sooner excellent points. I too, being an only child have dealt with DNRs etc. 
Marriage does simplify many of those issues, but it can

complicate inheritance issues with children.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,400
Registered: ‎03-03-2011

Tomgirl you are so right! My best friends daughter (with young children) was living with a guy and my friend had never heard of the Sex Offender Registry. We (just for fun...my friend didn't like him) checked his name and guess what? Funny thing is her daughter got mad at me for telling her Mom about the registry. Check'em out!