Re: Love at 71??

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Don't forget that it can wind up where spouses trump kids on inheritance, decisions about health care and parents living situations, even where they will be buried and funeral arrangements.

All stuff I've seen come to very very angry people and bad decisions.

NickNack · ‎03-10-2010

@Sooner wrote:
Love may have no limits but finances do. Also there may be children to consider, who will take care of the parent and handle finances when the parent is no longer able.

How will money and estates flow? Who pays for what. Etc.

I am sure some of you will sneer at this, but I have to say from long experience these are things that will come into play no matter whether you like or or want them to.

A friendship may be far more easier and happier than a marriage or other arrangement that involves legal issues. And that involve your kids and other relatives perhaps.

I agree with @Sooner that at that age your children and estate need to be considered before remarrying. That is so important.

The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

How wonderful. Don't think I'd marry due to finances

etc. but so great to have a 💕, a companion, a partner.

stellabystarlight · ‎03-31-2010

My best friend's cousin had never married but met a wonderful man when she was 73. They fell in love and married and are still blissfully wed!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I don't understand all the marriage, children, estate comments. The OP said "love", she didn't say a thing about marriage. Love does not necessarily lead to marraige at any age but especially for older people.

Sweet Caroline 1 · ‎12-12-2017

@Bettyanne There is nothing better than the giddyness you're feeling. Love is totally awsome! Take it SLOW and keep your money in the BANK. With that said, Love is totally awsome!!!

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Sure. Finding someone to love at 71 is perfectly fine. I'd proceed with caution if the subject of marriage surfaces - especially if there are children or grandchildren trying to butt in.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@IMW wrote:
How wonderful. Don't think I'd marry due to finances
etc. but so great to have a 💕, a companion, a partner.

@IMW OK but should you marry and grow even older, who will decide where you are in a nursing home? Who will take care of your estate? Who will inherit it? If you have kids do you want it to go to his kids or your kids? Not necessarily money because all the people I know used that up on health care, but also family heirlooms etc.

Who signs a DNR for you? Who gets to decide how your belongings are disposed of or where you will be buried or will you be donated to science? Who pays the bills for your funeral? Who clears the estate and debts, etc. etc.

As the last in a long family I have dealt with all this far too many times in my life and seen what these issues can do to others. You can see it any way you like, and people can look askance at me for asking those questions, but been there done that way too many times for people whose affairs were not in order.

It has cost me tears, time, dealing with attorneys and a lot of money. It is a fact and people should definitely iron this stuff out and not dump it on someone down the line after they are gone.

And unbelievable as it is, I know a number of folks in their 70's who don't even have wills!

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

@Bettyanne wrote:
I wasn't sure what forum to post this on......i just have kind of a "gilrlie " question.

I have been divorced for 10 years. Pretty content with my love....when I meet this guy....is 71 too old to fall in love? Am i being a fool?

Anyone know anyone who was in this same position ?

My brother is almost 80 (seems much younger-mobile, fit, etc). His wife passed away 4 years ago. He has taken up with a woman he knew years ago. She moved in.

I am 64. While I may think he shouldn't do this, it's not my business. I have advised him (based on my former financial profession) the pros/cons of this. In the end, it's his decision.

I say, if you are comfortable with it, why not? Now as far as marriage? I have been married over 42 years and I can 99.99% say I wouldn't remarry if my husband passed. My BFF's mom got a boyfriend after her husband died and they remained boyfriend/GF until she passed.