Among Friends

[Vivian]

Three years ago, my friend asked me to join her on a trip to Paris. I told her I would try to come when she was going there with her granddaughter. I have been to Paris many times and love that city more than any other. However, some of my Parisian friends have told me they no longer feel safe there. After the horrible attacks and the terrorism at the Brussels Airport, I decided I did not want to go to Paris this year. My friend is going.

I happened to watch an interview with the former head of the CIA after the Egyptair crash this week. He said he'd think twice before flying out of Charles de Gaulle Airport. When I told my friend I decided not to go to France this year she became very upset with me. She sent me all sorts of articles about "only 147 people" who had died during the Paris attacks and the many more killed in traffic accidents or terrorists win when tourists stay home. Well, I'm not staying home. I'm going to Québec City on vacation.

i want my friend to accept my decision and stop bugging me about going. She doesn't have to agree with me but rather she just needs to stop pressuring me to go. She had planned to take her granddaughter on this trip for years. My presence was not a make-or-break issue. Of course it would have been fun but not if I feel uneasy about going on the Métro or worrying about airport security. Eighty-five airport employees were recently fired because on further examination, officials realized they could be security risks. Did they miss number 86? Charles de Gaulle Airport employs tens of thousands. When the security expert said he'd think twice about flying at CDG, I thought twice too and decided not to go. I don't want this to turn into a real disagreement but I don't want to provide any more explanations.

[IControlMyHappiness]

I guess your friend is mad but I hope she stops harassing you. 

[10sluvr]

i guess you will just have to say "end of discussion". let her know you won't change your mind and you don't want to hear any more about it. tell her and her gd-daughter to have a wonderful trip. maybe give them some sights to see, that you have enjoyed.

[Ms X]

If this is a great friend, I'd just let her vent for a while and tell her how much you wanted to go and how sorry you are that you think it's too dangerous at this time.  I've never been to Paris, but I wouldn't go there now either.  I took six years of French from 7th to 12th grade and used to be able to read and write in it.  I never could understand a native speak the language because they talk too fast.

[wagirl]

Well said and stick to your guns!! I totally understand as I don't think going anywhere outside the US/Canada  is a good idea anymore. Seems like we Americans have a target printed on our backs now days. She can't make you go, right? So that is that!! I bet she is thinking hard about her trip tho. And FYI--I am not the paranoid type of person, however, I do listen to those who are in the know and realize bad things can happen no matter where you go or who you are. Quebec City sounds lovely!! My daughter and I are going to Vancouver/Victoria, BC this fall. Stick to your guns!!!!

[GCR18]

Since you were planning on going on vacation anyway, could you suggest another location?  Not knowing anything about your friend, I think she may be uncomfortable traveling alone with her granddaughter.  

[Catbelly]

Tell her to enjoy her time with her granddaughter and move on. For some reason she isn't getting that you don't want to go for a few reasons. Hoping when they return she doesn't say "see, everything was ok."  Not sure if that's totally what it's about for you but given you have plans, she should respect that and move on.

[hoosieroriginal]

I'm such a homebody- I have a hard time doing anything with friends.  When I do go, I really enjoy myself, it's just pushing myself out of the house (I'd much rather be home iwth my doggies!).  You do what you feel is best for you - be nice about it and wish her a wonderful vacation.  I left California 13 years ago and vowed I would never return.  All of my family is out there and I get pressure all the time to visit. 

[gidgetgh]

"Friend (insert your friend's name)- I've told you I'm uncomfortable going to Paris right now and my mind is made up. I'm not going. I'm sorry you're disappointed, but I need you to stop bugging me about this."  

[spent2much]

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@hoosieroriginal wrote:

I'm such a homebody- I have a hard time doing anything with friends.  When I do go, I really enjoy myself, it's just pushing myself out of the house (I'd much rather be home iwth my doggies!).  

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@hoosieroriginal My sentiments exactly!  We must be a lot alike.