Among Friends

[Noel7]

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@Vivian Florimond wrote:

Noel7 your comment reminded me of a wonderful experience, among many, that I had in France. My husband and I were visiting a magnificent castle that had stupendous gardens. We were standing on a balcony, admiring the view, when a French couple came over. I chatted with them about the beauty of the place. Then the woman asked if we were Americans. I said that we were, whereupon she said, "Thank you for saving France in WW2." I replied," Thank you for supporting the American Revolution and sending us LaFayette." It really was a poignant moment.

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@Vivian

Oh, how wonderful, Vivian!  Thank you for sharing that story.  I've read about and seen pictures of the French resistance during WW2, there were many brave French people involved who took up arms on their own, including women.  And many took care of our troops there.  Just amazing.

[GingerPeach]

@Vivian

On a practical level, and this suggestion may have already crossed your mind, perhaps instead of having you accompany your insistent friend, she might want to hire and/or make use of some sort of guide during her trip to France.  You may or may not even wish to offer to research guides for her.

In any event, follow your own heart and stay strong in your resolution to do what is most appropriate for you (and your own family).

[qualitygal]

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@Vivian Florimond wrote:

I think my friend is worried that when she returns home she may hear that she's very ill and may not be able to travel far from home again. I certainly understand that fear because my husband's mild cognitive impairment may well worsen. Nevertheless, my safety concerns are more important right now than what may happen in the future.

When my friend told me she's postponing her health care until after she returns from France, four months away, she told me " Don't tell me not to go." I did not say a word but you can imagine my thoughts. She just went through extensive tests. She lost 30 pounds this year without trying. Frankly I think she's in denial about several things but she has every right to do as she pleases. So do I.

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@Vivian Florimon, sounds like (what I bolded) this is a bucket list and she doesn't think she has long to go. This sounds like "end of the line plan".  JMHO

[RedTop]

Reading that your friend has health issues, makes me think she is definitely afraid to take this trip with just the granddaughter.  And if I were the granddaughter, and knew my grandmother was ill, I would not want to take this trip, no matter how much I had been looking forward to it.   

I would not want to remember this trip of a lifetime as the trip where my grandmother was in the hospital nearly the entire time, and I was all alone.   Or, heaven forbid, grandmother died on the trip, and I was all alone.   

I have experience with 3 illnesses that presented with major weight loss without the person trying; diabetes, end stage lung cancer, and pancreatic cancer.   I think your friend is wrong to even consider taking this trip without knowing her health situation first, and making granddaughter aware of her problems.   

[dex]

@ChynnaBlue@Best answer and you made me laugh.

[Financialgrl]

I've had ppl try this type pressure with me, I try to be nice at first and when it appears they won't stop, I just say, "I've said no - case closed, period, end of discussion".  If they continue on I walk out or hang up. 

[queendiva]

I have not read all 76 replies before responding, but it seems to me that perhaps your friend was counting on you to be the personal tour guide for she and her GD. Your $m your choice. You have made your feelings clear. You have moved on, now she needs to get over herself and move on, too.

[occasionalrain]

I'm disheartened to read all the selfish responses. To me, a true friend puts themselves second for their friend. This woman is a friend in need and a true friend would accompany her on what, most likely, is her last trip. My friends would do it for me and I would do it for them.

Reading this thread reminds me of how blessed I am.

[Noel7]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

I'm disheartened to read all the selfish responses. To me, a true friend puts themselves second for their friend. This woman is a friend in need and a true friend would accompany her on what, most likely, is her last trip. My friends would do it for me and I would do it for them.

Reading this thread reminds me of how blessed I am.

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Oh, please... stop stirring the pot.

Vivian's husband is in need. 

Let us know when you pack up and go to Europe for a frolic while your family needs you.