Among Friends

[BoopOMatic]

@Black Cat Back  BoopOMatic doesn't have to convince anybody of anything; if you don't want to go onto the other website, that's your decision. Good grief.

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back  

I truly hope you have a  Good Thanksgiving.  I had to search this morning , because felt a little blue last night.

I have a lot to be thankful for, one son that treats me very good and loving.  He understood why I didn't want to go to his house today.

I have good health, and still can do for myself.  I have a loving sister, Melanie my dog. My home, you to speak with on here, and others. I do have a lot to be thankful.

I could have been with a family today, but chose not to go for reasons I won't go into.

The son that lives a mile away is another story.  He tries, but it's just not there for him.  I really had to go to my source to get over being blue.  

I also miss the days of old around the Thanksgiving table, laughing, playing games and the love around that table.

The years I had people here who had no one, but they are gone.

I got blue because of that one son that has a cold heart.  I need to let it go, he won't change, so I have to change my thinking.  I'm not lonely, just hurt.

That is a lot of money for an apt to rent. Here in CA it's even more.  If I were to rent out one of my rooms, which would help with the finances, I could get over a 1000.00, just for the room, nothing else, but I don't want a stranger living here with me.

Tried that once an it didn't work.  I knew the person.

So happy you found a RA that is working with you.  Also that you are planning a good day and just relaxing.

You don't have to have turkey, ground is fine if you decide that is what you want. The only part of the turkey I like is, the wings

Your muffin recipe sounds good and you sound like a good cook. My children father was a vegatarian back in the day, the 50's when it was not popular.

When we met, i invited him to my apt. for a steak dinner, not knowin it.

I had to learn how to cook interesting meals in the day before the computer to get receipes.  I learned fast.  Made some great dishes.  He was raised that way by his Mother who would not even wear clothes if an animal had to be killed. It was also  hard on her . We had a hard time going to out to eat.

When I had company for dinner, they thought I went fancy with the veggies I served, but I said that is what I make for him every night. I wasn't going out of my way on the dinners.

No leather shoes or anything that killed an animal.  Years later she died of colon cancer and so did he, go figure.

The sun is out and it's suppose to be 71 today.  Going to take Melanie to her favorite park.  She gives you a Thanksgiving Bark, and hugs.  Please enjoy day and the game.  Talk later, when I can get myself together.  Love and hugs.

[Black Cat Back]

@BoopOMatic 

I'm sorry if I said something wrong.  I just don't know anything about the site and whether our emails are sold to someone or if our information is private.   I am just being careful.   Sorry.

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

I understand feeling blue.  I woke up the same today.   That one friend texted a little cartoon wishing me a good day, which is nice to be remembered.  I did do as you suggested, I told her I reached out to her because I needed a friend but never heard back.  She wrote back just saying "No worries."   What does that even mean?   That's it.  Like you said, say what you need to say and let go.

I was honest with another "friend" who wished me a happy t-giving, knowing I'm all alone.  I came out and wrote back that it's the 9th year I'm alone and left out and not invited anywhere.   I said that on purpose because she always tells me the lavish details of the Thanksgiving dinner she has.  I wasn't trying to make her feel guilty, just opening her eyes to her lack of compassion for even telling me about all she does on this day.   I said my memories keep me going and to pray for all of us who are sitting alone tonight at a dinner table.  She never responded. 

Your son is missing out on having a mother in his life.  My siblings didn't visit my parents in their later years and I know it hurt my parents.  I don't think we had a whole "family" together time for years.   I remember when they came for my Mom's funeral one sibling was surprised how old my Dad looked.  Well yeah... it's been 15 years since you've seen him.  Yet my siblings always wanted Daddy's attention and sent him articles they wrote or work stuff to show all they were doing, wanting him to praise them.  Yet, my Dad was dying of cancer and they never visited. 

I get upset because being alone I know how friendship and showing compassion is so important to sustain any relationship.  When people take it for granted it just is such a waste.  The gal I didn't hear from when I needed a friend I checked in on week after week to see how she was doing when she went through some health issues.  It never crossed my mind to not be there for her.  My male friend I told you about (he has a huge ego) even said to me once, "You need to know I'm taken."   Well dude, I'm not interesting in you, so come off of that mountaintop.  LOL.  Ii like you as a friend.   He's the one who invited himself over to my house when his wife and daughter were out of town a few years ago.  Whatever.

We can never convince others how to be appropriate or how to give.  It's just the ones who profess to be so religious who aren't very giving is what makes me confused.  Sometimes, they use religion to prop themselves up in others eyes without walking the walk.  

Enjoy your park visit.  Sounds like a lovely day in your area.  I am thankful for you and your kindness and generous heart.  You remind me that goodness is still out there.

Love and Hugs!! 

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

Hey, I understand about  people not practicing what they preach.

The "no worries".  in her answer, doesn't make sense to me.

At least you let her know how you feel. The ball is in her park. You asked and she really didn't engage. You tried, that's all you can do.

I am not lonely today, just hurt by that one cold hearted son.

I even offered to help take care of his wife for him when he has to leave her to take care of business.

I have done so much for his kids. Paid for modeling school for the daughter, let his son live with me when he had to kick him out of the house and didn't want to pay for a hotel for him.  The kid, not a kid, was in his late 30's . Stayed with me for a week, that was 3.5 years ago and have not heard from him since.

The hurt comes from, how can you treat someone that has always been there for you and your family so hurtful. So not caring?  I just don't understand it.

I have to let it go, but as a Mother that went through hell raising them alone, it hurts.

 I have offered help all the time.  His wife and I got along great before she got Alzheimer's.  

Well, nothing I can do.  If I ask to talk about it, he shuts down.

I have to tex him every morning, I'm OK and every night the same.  If he doesn't hear from me by a certain time, he will call.

I make sure I tex at  eight AM and  sixPM.  So I guess that is something.  He does not want a relationship and I can't get him to talk it out.  He didn't talk to his father for years, yet went to his funeral.  His great grandmother, my grandmother, did so much for him, he didn't go to her funeral.  I think he hates strong women.  His wife was not strong, so he could control her. Who knows.  

I have to let it go and enjoy the rest of my day, with the little white dog sitting here looking at me with her big brown eyes and thinking, LEts go.  

Enjoy the game.  Hugs. 

[qvcaddition]

@BoopOMatic 

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@Black Cat Back wrote:

@BoopOMatic 

I'm sorry if I said something wrong.  I just don't know anything about the site and whether our emails are sold to someone or if our information is private.   I am just being careful.   Sorry.

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I don,t think you said anything wrkng. You were just being helpful.

I didn,t understand that comment. Don,t worry.

[qvcaddition]

F

@Black Cat Back 

Well, I feel better.  Long 2mi!e walk.  Now before we eat, I am going on treadmill.

I'll do a coup!e mi!es, then 5 miles bike. My other son called me and coming  over tomorrow with a dish and visit.

Decided to make an Oriental shrimp dish tonight with rice.  A soy sauce and honey with ginger dressing.

All is good.  Watching the five while on the treadmill.  Watered the yard and made carrots to put in Mel's food with string beans and peas.   

Have a good night.  💘 love.

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

I just got back from a walk too.  Going to lift some weights.  Will miss my place because I can work out outside.  I'll miss all the perks I love here.  Hard for me to get my head around it.

Glad your son is coming over tomorrow.  Very nice.  Your other son cares about you with asking you to call.  I guess we have to hold onto whatever we can.  His behavior is difficult to figure out.

Your dinner sounds good.  I love Chinese food but cannot master making the sauces taste right.  I have a wok but hardly use it.  You sound like a good cook.  Melanie is lucky to have a very good diet.  Does she watch you prepare her veggies?   My cat used to sit by my legs and watch me get his dinner together.  

Hopefully I will have enough energy to make the pizza I mentioned.  Sometimes when I take a walk I get emotional.  Being outside and in the neighborhood I love gets to me knowing I have to leave it and all I'm dealing with.  I look at people's houses and it looks so cozy and safe.  I feel so displaced right now.

Hope you enjoyed your dinner.  Thanks for the messages today.  It made me feel less lonely.  

Take care.. Love and hugs!

[qvcaddition]

@Black Cat Back 

I hope your day was good. My started out good, but took a turn for the worst.  I received a phone call from a young lady who grew up with my daughter. She was over my house all the time.

She called to tell me she loved me and all the good times I gave them as children.  She said you were my fun mom.

She is 56 and now on Hospice.  We have seen each other every time I would visit her mom and she would be there at the house.

She said she has been getting sick for 4 years and never wanted to burden her family or to bring anyone down by complaining.

I can't go into the whole story, but I could do nothing for her, but went to visit her today. as soon as she told me.

My one son came to bring me some of the food he made yesterday and He also was a friend of her as children and teens.  

He drove me to her Mothers and  we had an afternoon of reminesing about the good old days.

Her whole body has cancer.  She is in so much pain and the pain meds are not helping.  Too long to explain.

She said, she wanted me to know how much she loved me.

 and what a good friend I have been to her and her mom.We hugged and cried and laughed.

I just saw her two months ago and she was hopping all over the place, so no idea she was sick.

She said it was her fault for not paying attention to the lump in her breast.  She didn't want to go to the Dr. which I can't understand.  Now, it's too late.  Her one arm is very swollen, because she said the cancer is throughout the lymphnodes.

It's awful when you can't help someone.  There aren't words to ease her pain and facing death. She is living with her 96 year old mother, my best friend that has Alzheimer's. Her siblings are taking care of both of them.

So, I feel so helpless.  I will visit as often as I can and maybe help with housework, or go to the store, I don't know what, but whatever they need, or just to sit for awhile.

It's even hard to speak with her, she can't sleep, can't swallow  food, losing her voice.  Yet, whatever they have her on her face is swollen. 

Anyway, I never expected to get a phone call like this.

I may not be on here for a couple of days, not feeling like talking, trying to digest this news.  I remember when her mom was pregnant with her.  Sorry for the downer news, but hard to be concern about everyday stuff right now.

Please take care and hugs for now.  I will get back in a few days.

[Black Cat Back]

@qvcaddition 

I am so sorry to hear this.  I can understand how sad this is for you.  She is much too young. 

Please know that I'm here if you need to share.   Bless you and your friends.  I don't even know if saying I'll keep you all in my prayers is enough.  My thoughts are with you.

Love and hugs!