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Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

[ Edited ]

@Black Cat Back Thank You. Just wanted  you to know I will get back to you in a day or so, when I can think clearly. love you, don't worry, I'll be back. Pray for her to be out of pain

I took off my necklace that I never take off with the cross, and the footsteps in the sand and gave it to her to know that God is carrying her.  

Trusted Contributor
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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@qvcaddition 

 

Prayers are with her and you.   Thank you.   I'm glad she has you in her life.

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@Black Cat Back 

 

Thank you. I feel a little better this morning.  My sister called me last night and she remembers this girl.  They are about the same age and my sister, her mom and my dad lived next door to me.  They were never friends, just knew her. 

This girl was my daughters best friend.

She and my son were laughing at all the things they did as kids and we the moms never knew. Found out yesterday and they were laughing having good moments.

I tried to call just now, but no one answers. They do not use the computer and not on the internet.

I had anxiety last night and was going in all different directions.

It was a blow to all of us.  

I took a shot of brandy that I have had for years, because not a drinker, but it calmed me and I was able to sleep.

She, said such a nice thing to me in all her pain.

What a strong girl to have endured all this without saying anything to anyone.  On the other hand, I wish she had taken care of the lump and seen a Dr.  

It's so important to get checks up.  Of course, I didn't say this to her, she knows it now, too late. 

 

I hope you are having a restful weekend.  Every problem is important to us, but then when someone is going through what she and others go through are much worse, it makes our problem something we can deal with as long as we have our health.  Take care and thanks for caring.  love and enjoy your day in spite of everything going on.  Prayers to you also. 

Esteemed Contributor
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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

[ Edited ]

@Black Cat Back 

 

Are you OK?

I haven't heard from you and could be you are just resting from problems.   I hope.

I'm feeling a little better, if anyone can knowing a person you love is leaving, but we all are leaving someday.  I have been keeping in touch by phone each morning and tomorrow, Hospice is going to change her meds, because percocet and morphine are not working.

Her right arm and leg are very swollen, she said from, the cancer  in all the nodes.  

My sister said, this is the fourth person we know that has died of cancer of some sort before the age of 60, in the town we lived.  Makes you wonder.

On a brighter note, I received a call yesterday morning from a friend, I haven't spoken to in a couple of years, thought we sent Holiday cards.

Her husband  is my son's best friend and lived with us when he was abandoned by family when he was in his 20's.

They used to give me grey hairs with their antics, but also a lot of laughs when I was down and going through a divorce.

This kid was brillant. He had a good job as a planner of constructing for buildings,he drew plans. Was a great artist and a comedian.  So funny.

Well he had a major stroke and should have gone, but his wife said, "For better or for Worse" and choose to take care of him.

She had the house redone with ramps and wheelchair access, etc.  

She still works, their children are grown and she has a big family to help her take care of him, when she is working.

She put me on speaker yesterday, though he can't speak, he knows what is going on.  I was able to speak to him and let him known how special he to me and told him about the good times we had together

She said, he understands and is smiling.

The last time I saw them was before covid and his stroke at a party he gave for his wife when she graduated from college, another degree to keep her job.  All the young people they hire in her banking line of work, she needed to keep up not to lose her job.

She comes from an Hispanic family, and Hispanic families are very close to family. Especially their elderly.

What a party.  What fun it was.  Marinachi (sp)? band, the food was amazing.  

Previously, they had given me a big birthday party.

Just very loving people.

She has her plate full, but like I said, family lives with them, so she has a lot of help.  

He has to be spoon fed baby food etc. What a shame, he had so much going for him, but she was very up.

I was happy to hear from her and glad I could make him smile and he knew it was me.

She promised to take a trip here to see me.  I told her, his old room is waiting.

Two young people, whose lives have basically been destroyed in their prime.  Shame.

OK, getting the day started, running a lot of errands today and will check in with the young lady and her mom, see if they need anything at the stores. 

They live on a ranch, with her son and his wife right on the property next door.  They have lots of acres and built a house for the other children in family to live, like a compound.

Take care, hope you are OK.  Hugs from Mel and me.

 

 

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@qvcaddition 

 

I'm here.  Just a lot going on. 

 

I didn't check back yesterday not knowing if you needed more time which is understandable.

 

So sorry with all the people you know going through so much.  They are so blessed to have you in their life.  You are so caring and so attentive to others.  That is a gift.

 

Nothing I can say could compare with what your friends are going through. I do count my blessings.   I think anything is easier to go through if someone is there in your corner to count on.  We need each other in life.  My issue here is I've asked friends for advice, just this morning, and have heard nothing.  I think my issues are worse for me because I'm alone and no one here even wants to listen or offer me some guidance.  It just exasperates the overwhelm.

 

I hope you are getting some rest.  It's hard when you're hurting for othrs.

 

As always, I so appreciate you checking in and caring.  Really, it's very meaningful to me and I am honored that you have shared time with me.

 

Be well... take care... Love and Hugs to you and Melanie.

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@Black Cat Back 

 

Do you mind me asking what kind of advise did you ask your friends?  

If they constanley refuse or don't answer, I think that is your answer.  

I think it's rude they don't call back or answer, but you know you can't make anyone do anything they don't want.

I really do understand how you feel, I use to be like that, always asking friends what should I do. 

There does come a point, if they never get back to you, that is there answer and you need to find new friends or try to solve the problem on your own.  

I know that is very hard to do in todays world.

What kind of advise do you want?

Maybe I can  if you wanted to list your problems here.  I can try.

I use to make a list of what I needed to do and then try to solve it one by one on my list.

If I needed to make phone calls, or emails, etc.

I know you need to find another place to live and it has to be something you can afford and in the area where you work.

That is number one I would think.  

You said you have a good RE agent, a nice lady, is she giving you advise or looking?

I might be wrong, but that alone should be number one on your list.  Once you find a place, everything else might fall into sync.

I just wish you could have luck with that problem.

Hugs back from me and Mel.

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@qvcaddition 

 

Good to hear from you.  Hope you are doing ok.  I know all you're dealing with is hard on you.  Thank you for taking the time to reach out.

 

I went to look at a property today.  They said a lease would need to be signed by Thurs.  Put a lot of pressure on me.  I am lucky that the RE agent is very nice.  I was just stressing that a decision like that is hard and I wanted people in my life to walk me through it, they might see things I don't.  But, they don't check in and haven't shown much interest in being a resource.  I can only ask so many times that I need their guidance.  It's something any friend would do.  I'm not asking for them to "do" anything, just talk to me and offer me a fresh eye.

 

We went to see the property.  It wasn't kept up very well.  Damages not fixed and the property grounds were not kept up.  So, it wasn't worth it anyway.  She agreed with me that I can do much better.  Makes me laugh how a landlord will ask $2000+ for something and not keep it up. Tells you about them as a landlord.  I already had a landlord here who was cheap and wouldn't fix anything until it died.  So, it turned out to be a dud anyway. 

 

I couldn't sleep last night. Had a pit in my stomach.  The RE agent is taking a week off for vacation and was apologetic but said if she say anything in her searches, she would let her partner know and they can reach out. It's only a week.  Glad she cared enough to let me know.  She said it's not time to panic yet.  She's going to show me a place on Thurs.  It's smaller but in a very nice area.  May be too small, but will look at anyway.  Gives me perspective on sizes to see different ones.  And it depends no the layout too.  Sometimes a smaller place if laid out nicely can be roomier than the size dictates.  Will see.  It's a 1 bdrm 1 bth, so it may have a bit of a storage issue. 

 

The place I saw today, each window looked out at another window at someone else's place. That would drive me nuts.  I would never open my blindes and I like natural light in a room. 

 

Thanks for your concern.  I'm sure my worries seem so small.  Appreciate you reaching out in your difficult time with your friends there.

 

Love and Hugs!    Thank you!!

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@Black Cat Back 

I'm glad it,s starting to move for you. Sounds like this agent might be the right one.

I would forget asking the friends.  Their not answering means they don,t want to be bothered.  Sad.  Sometime the only one that can make the decision is you, but your RE agent seems to be helping and giving you advise.

I am waiting to call my friend after her hospice nurse visits today.

Only one arm works and she need her dressings changed.  I offered, but she doesn,t want me to see how horrible it looks.  I don,t mind, but she does.  I

Take care.  Hugs

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@qvcaddition 

 

I am confused because I've never demanded anything from friends.  In fact, I roll on the side of not asking anything of them.  So, it's not like I'm a burden and never leave them alone and always ask for help.  There's just a moment you wish that people would reach out because it's the kind thing to do.   Like you did.

 

I found a small notebook in the grocery cart where I shop.  It had no one's name in it, but some phone numbers for doctors, some book titles and a phone number to a woman that was named.  I called that woman yesterday to ask if she might know who owns the notebook, since her name was in it.  She had an idea and was so appreciative that I inquired.  We got to talking and she seemed upset about something, so I told her she's not alone and I know how it feels to be sad right now.  We talked a bit more and I mentioned I was having to move.  She said I should put my stuff in storage and she'll let me stay in her house.  Although that was very nice of her, I cannot do that.  We talked a bit more and she praised me for having the guts to call and care enough about someone's property.  I gave her my name and number as she wanted to let the woman who she thinks owns the notebook know who found it.  I told her to keep me in mind if she hears of anyone looking for a good tenant.  I told her it was kismet that we met and she agreed.  I was hoping to hear back from her, as I don't want to call again and bother someone.  But I didn't hear. 

 

I stopped a couple in my neighborhood whose mother I knew of the daughter and asked if they were still renting the unit her parents lived in.  They said yes, but only during the height of the snowbird season here.  They were very nice.  I mentioned that my Mom and hers played tennis together many years ago.  I'm out there asking and trying to make my own destiny.  It isn't easy to talk to strangers so boldly, but I try. It just gets discouraging when it comes up nowhere, not even a nice connection to continue with.   That's what is disappointing.  People don't connect anymore in that way.   I'll probably never hear back from the woman and the notebook story...  I just don't have that kind fo luck.  MY RE agent said a good friend of hers was looking for a rental and she talked to someone who was renting her casita on her property. Bingo, she got a nice place to live.  It just doesn't for me.  Just like my so called friends just don't take the time to connect and cultivate the friendship.

 

Just wish, just once... I'd be surprised with something that clicked.  I don't want to be afraid to ask or take chances, but it does get old and it does lose it's significance when I come up with nothing.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Your friend must love you a lot to not want you to see her pain and wounds.   But, I can bet she is touched that you care enough to be there for her.  Bless you.

 

 

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Re: Looking for QVCAddiction

@Black Cat Back 

You did a nice thing .  I have no problem talking to strangers.  Some of us are introverts and some extroverts.  That,s what makes the  world go around.  The lady you contacted about the  notebook, it,s only been a day since you spoke, give her time to call.  It was nice of her to offer, but you don,t have to move yet.  

It was nice of you to reach out .

I will tell you my thoughts.  Whatever we speak, the words out of our mouths, Wiil  manifest positive or negative results.  you need to start saying to yourself, even if it hasn,t happen yet,  say and write.  I have found a nice place to live. It is everything I want.   Instead of saying, nothing good ever happens for me.  . You can program positive or negative in your life.

Not that everything will get Rosie all of a sudden, but it will get better if positively flows more than negatively.. You don,t want that cloud constantly over your head.

It's true, in today's world after covid, people are Different.  I notice, the rudness.  To much is happening in this world that are horrible, so a person needs to try to be positive in their life. .

People are scared.  Two much has happened in the last three years.  People are trying to survive.  It,s a different world now.  Still good people out there, but everyone has problems  and trying  to survive. 

You will find something decent.. Think positive.  Ok going to bed now

Hugs.