Among Friends

[karabeth]

@qvcaddition,

I am so sorry your son behaved this way. Of course he should have been worried about you. I am wondering why he didn't text you while he was at your house to find out where you were. Also, so very nice of you to want to surprise him with a special dinner.

I was touched when I read your post and glad you shared your thoughts and feelings with your forum friends. I hope you will feel better soon.

[qvcaddition]

@deepwaterdotter 

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

@qvcaddition  Have you considered purchasing something like a "Life Alert" service?

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I had one and had to cancel.  The expensive one was good, with low income, had to cut back.  The cheaper one in an emegency one time took to long to help ,  I am looking for other ways to alert someone. 

Calling Council of aging today to see what can be done.

[qvcaddition]

@karabeth 

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@karabeth wrote:

@qvcaddition,

I am so sorry your son behaved this way. Of course he should have been worried about you. I am wondering why he didn't text you while he was at your house to find out where you were. Also, so very nice of you to want to surprise him with a special dinner.

I was touched when I read your post and glad you shared your thoughts and feelings with your forum friends. I hope you will feel better soon.

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I am better through my prayers and being able to get it out of my system on here.  He really is a good son, but doesn't think. If I was a golf ball, he would have looked harder.  I'm able to joke, a good sign.

[Teddie]

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@JoyFilled Warrior wrote:

Well, my "homemade" attempts to kick the Chest/Sinus infection helped me feel better, but didnt provide any mastery over the actual Infection.  But at least I'm not feeling as miserable.

Good thing, cause *now* the sink Garbage Disposal is broken, it's nearly the wkend, & the water is backing up the sink. Darn-it

But, as I was trying to fight off this infection, it occurred to me.  Lonely, alone, means nobody, possibly, to pick up a Prescription when feeling miserable.

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@JoyFilled Warrior  I sure hope you're starting to feel better by now. Some of this that's going around can sure linger. And I know it's extra tough when you don't have anyone helping you. 

What caught my eye was your garbage disposal going out. 
I'm writing this on Friday and mine went out last Monday. I discovered it because water was leaking pretty bad under the sink. I'm thankful that my daughter and son-in-law came over to determine that yes, I need a new one so they took it out. So I ordered 2 sizes through Amazon and they'll see what works. They just came today and I haven't been able to use my sink all this time and it's getting to me. But through all these experiences I have so many moments of sadness, knowing my husband isn't here to see what's going on. He was very good at fixing and taking care of everything. 

I hope you have someone who will help you. 

[Teddie]

@qvcaddition   Reading what you went through just gave me this great sadness and empathy. I just put myself in your situation and hurt so much for you. I have a son who doesn't come around, doesn't call or check on me and it's been pretty painful, so that's why I partially feel what you're feeling. I truly wish things were different. I admire many people here and you are at the top. Much love and respect, our dear. 

[qvcaddition]

@Teddie Thank you for your kindness.  I hope you  have some peace also for  the hurt.  We Mothers forgive a lot. You know the moment they need help, you will be there for them. 

Mine use to be so thoughtful, but his personality is changing.  I'm hoping he thinks about it.  It baffles me, cause it's not him.

There is nothing we can do when stuff happens, except take care of ourselves.  

I am sending you love and prayers.  

[Tanya89]

Sometimes just reaching out, even if it feels small, can make a big difference. Maybe trying to connect with others who feel the same could ease the loneliness for both sides

[qvcaddition]

@Tanya89 

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@Tanya89 wrote:

Sometimes just reaching out, even if it feels small, can make a big difference. Maybe trying to connect with others who feel the same could ease the loneliness for both sides

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I have joined two cleasses at the Senior center.   I go twice a week. One of the ladies and I spent Christmas dinner together as her kids were busy.

I also am very busy keeping up a house and two yards and exercise and my dog. Pretty busy for my age. I try to watch TV at night, but I fall asleep.Too busy in the daytime walking dog and the above.

No, I was just hurt because of his actions.  In my day, we watched out for our elderly and I'm sure there are families out there that still do. 

[JoyFilled Warrior]

@qvcaddition 

WOW!  You work out on a Bike?? And, also, watch a movie at the same time?  And you're approaching 89?   *DANG*  YOU GO GURL!!   You bowl me over, I'm impressed!

Im also impressed that you took care of yourself.  You let your son know your feelings, your why, & what he could have/should have done, what you expected. VERY proud of you!   esp as a mother to a child/son, even to adult son!  Seems even adult "kids" still need to be taught by parents!  And sometimes, even guys can be a bit doofus'y, like my brothers. duh!  heh

   I used to be a golfer.  You cracked me up, about his devotion to finding his own golf ball.  My foursome used ball hunt too, until,  we came across the slain body of a Copperhead, then we decided, *NAH!* - we're not hunting for our golf balls any more!

     Seems your son is a "par for the course" golfer, more attentive to golf balls.  *excuse the pun*  So he CAN  be taught to scope for you, in his continued *frequent visits!*, & NOT LEAVE until he locates you, first hand, safe & sound, where you're expected. And LOOK 'til you're located.  ("Hey, *adult son*  pretend Mom is a 'golf ball!!'"  heh)  After all, age 88+ is no 20 yo any more, son!

Dont quote me 'cause I only know enough about Cell Phones to make me dangerous, but I think one's Cell Phone can be set up to push one button on it, like a kind of "First Alert" function.  It alerts Emergency &/or Choice of other person #, when you press it for Emergency (vs "First Alert").

   Also, there's Cell Phone Holder lanyards, that fit snugly around the actual Cell phone, with extending also a lanyard, to go around the neck, or Cross Body.  Some Cell Phone lanyards also have a Clip too, for affixing on clothing, or nearby bathroom towel when showering, allowing for quick grasp, in a bathroom fall. 

     If this is available on digging, would only require the small expense of this carefully selected Cell Phone Lanyard.  I got mine from Amz.

Good luck @qvcaddition 

And THANK YOU for sharing this with us!  We continue to care for you, & one another!  Pls keep us informed, k? 

BTW, what day's yr 89th B'day?   I like to honor, & say a discreet prayer for Birthday friends on their special days.

[qvcaddition]

@JoyFilled Warrior #

Your post was nice, also funny.  I have a big Schwin  air dine bike in the garage, next to a big treadmill. I had just gotten off the treadmill and onto the bike for 5 miles.  I have  a table next to the bike to laid my IPAD to watch a movie while exercising., Otherwise it,s boring. I'm in the  garage for a couple hours exercising. I started at age 23 and never stopped. Use to jog everyday and go to a gym, . now I have my own Gym at home that I set up during  Covid. My independence and doing all my own work has worked against me, because my children forget my age, even though I do for myself, except  I can't climb ladders anymore. 

Regardless of age, anyone living alone that can't be found, when all indications of being home are there, but you can't find them and they are expecting you, and dinner preparations in the kitchen, doesn't make sense not opening the garage door to check. We have not spoken or should say text since I texted him about not looking for me. 

He is 65 and I'm getting worried about his mental health. I will be 89 in June this year.

Take Care. Thank you for the funny post. It made me laugh. I do wish for phone calls instead of texting.  Also,  thank you for the info about the alerts on cell. I'll play around with it . it,s a tracFone from HSN. I take it with me in the garage..