Living closer to family - opinions wanted

Snoopp · ‎02-02-2015

I would love some opinions on what you consider "close" to family. I am considering a move and wonder if 2 hours by car is close enough ( the current drive can be 6 hours) or if I would be trading a long drive for another shorter drive but not getting the benefit of having family close to me. I'm leaning toward the view that this might still be farther away than I want.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

It honestly depends on whether you "like" your family.

If you have no problems and enjoy each other's company (make sure that's in constant close proximity and not because of the distance), then it's too far.

If it's nice to get a break and keep them at arms length every once in a while, two hours is just about right.

kittyloo · ‎03-11-2010

personally i would go for about a hours distance. close enough that it's not too far, but far enough away, they won't just drop in cause they were in the neighborhood.

Suzeecat · ‎05-05-2010

Personally I think 2 hrs. is still too far to make a difference. Of course, there are a lot of factors to consider. Would you be travelling more to seen them, or vice versa? If you expect them to travel to you, are they healthy enough to enjoy a 4 hour total commute, or would you expect them to spend the night if they come? Do you live somewhere (like I do, in Michigan) where you would have to consider weather conditions in the Winter/Spring and road construction in the Summer/Fall affecting their drive? I think that if you want to see people on a fairly regular basis you would want to live within an hour's drive.

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@snoop ... I agree with @Laura14. If you want to see your family at least weekly, two hours may be too far. Many people I know think that if you are going two hours, you should stay the night rather than drive back the same day. An hour is a nice distance as you can meet them somewhere half way if you want to. On the other hand, if I am driving a whole hour one way to get somewhere, I want to spend several hours. That kind of blows your day...at least at my age (68). I remember back when I used to commute at least an hour to work, so you will probably get a different perspective from younger people and NE coasters. I would think this is a decision you should also discuss with your family. How busy are they on weekends? Do they want to drive two hours? Some people want leisurely weekends. Other people want to explore other places on weekends. Include them in your decision.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

It does depend on how close you are to the family.....I would not want to be closer than 1 hour but that's me..if you have health issues and need to be closer that's a different issue. Good luck what ever you decide to do.

DH and I have that issue...my step daughter just moved about a mile from us...the relationship is OK...not always easy....lots of issues with her.... but this closeness in the area is new for us....not sure either one of us is comfortable with it...we are VERY USED to doing our own thing as far as holidays are conerned and now I think we will feel conflicted if we do not always incude her in our plans.

When she was married we usually celebrated holidays together but once she moved very far away and was divorced things changed for everyone, and we got used to spending the holiday out of town or with friends that invited us to their house or we had friends in. She kept her distance once she moved, not calling etc, and it did strain the relationship a bit as well as other choices she made in her life....so this holiday season will be new territory.

janeec · ‎02-17-2013

The reason for moving closer determines the distance. For example, if it is to be closer to aging parents, even 1 hour can be too far. If it is to attend family gatherings more frequently but not be around for much of the mundane activities, an hour or two distance is nice, depending on climate and road conditions.

Just because you live nearby doesn't mean you have to see them frequently. You will have your own life and schedule. These are parameters you need to set when you move.

I have lived over 1000 miles away from family, and now am less than 5 miles. We are not on top of each other, yet I can be there when I want.

You will know what the best decision is in your heart. Best wishes.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

I think it depends on why you want to be close to your family.

if you want to see them often, or baby sit grandchildren, if you get sick and need help or want to help another family member, two hours is way too far away.

How often are you going to make that drive? As you get older, how far will it be too far to drive? How far is too far for family members to come and visit you?

Most of my family lives close. I can visit my siblings in 15 minutes as well as two of my children. One son lives almost 30 minutes from me. We visit often.

Anything over an hour away would not be close enough for me, but I would have to like the area and my surroundings.

If I only planned on seeing my family a few times a year, two hours a way would be fine as long as there was no snow or bad weather to drive through, especially around the holidays.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

History taught me to ask...do you like to babysit or won't that be a consideration, and what if they move away or have job transfers? Will you like where you live if they aren't there any longer? Two things to consider....