Among Friends

[Montana]

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@Happiness Is Inside JOB wrote:

...  I honestly knew that closing might lower my credit card score,BUT I THOUGHT it was my only displine option.... I think I need to cut up the cards so I can't use them again.

I have paid off to many times to later...2 - 3 years later, charge the card right back UP!!!!

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What kept me from running up paid off credit cards was anger. My interest rates were tied to the prime rate and quickly increased when prime did.  Yet when the prime rate dropped, the interest rates on my cards were never lowered. That really ticked me off.  That feeling remains with me and I will never let credit card interest shenanigans affect my finances again. 

I use my credit cards all the time and have not paid a penny in interest for many years. I pay each bill in full.

[chrystaltree]

I think my biggest life lesson came from my dad.  He always said "live on the income you have, not the one you wish you had".  He also cautioned us to only use credit for the big expensive things.  I have this childhood recollection of being at the mall with my parents and my dad saying  "I'm not putting any bleeping shoes on a credit card, we'll buy them when I get paid on Friday".  He was a "cash" guy.

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

It was really nice to read all the lessons learned in this posting. 

I have to work on ifollowing through on MY PLAN.....because I know when we get  back to work and the checks start coming back on schedule it is easy to "REGRESS' back to my old ways.

[RedTop]

I grew up in a home that never had a mortgage.  My parents built a basement, lived in it for 4 years while building the main floor, and once we moved upstairs, the house was paid for.   My parents were very careful with money, and my brothers and I have followed by example.   

I recognized early in life that I’ve always had enough.   I’ve lived my adult life buying what I need, not making up for anything I didn’t have in my early years.   I don’t desire to have a lot of personal possessions, and don’t like to spend my money.   

Because of our simple lifestyle, we always came thru my husbands frequent layoffs without major problems.   Never missed a mortgage or car payment, never had bills we couldn’t pay, and we have never been without food.  

Once my youngest daughter graduated from high school, my earnings for the next 12 years went straight into my credit union account, and we lived off my husbands income.   There was no adjustment to a retirement income.   

[reiki604]

I have found that the lessons will keep repeating themselves until I GET it and incorporate the lesson into my life. Until then, I find myself being faced with situations that are based on the same concepts of the lessons needed to be learned. We never stop learning until we are no more.

[Financialgrl]

I had great parents and I learned more by observing my parents than I realized at the time.  My first life lesson came in 1973 when my mother was dx with cancer and I (the oldest) and my 3 siblings were still at home.  Dad pulled us together - we were each told we'd have to take on a lot of responsibility around the house bc he worked, concentrated on her and took her to all her appointments.  We did the cooking, cleaning, yardwork, etc.  AND babysitting bc the youngest of my siblings was 3 at the time (myself and 2 other sibs were teens).  We learned to pull together and do what was necessary to get things done - making dinner, doing yardwork, etc. whatever it took bc dad worked, concentrated on mom and took her to all her appts.

Mom died in 1976.  Eventually I took dad in when he could no longer live alone.  In 2011 I was dx with cancer and my siblings took over the care of dad and I moved in with my BF nearer DC where my treatment would be.  He took care of me for the 14 months I was in treatment.  Fast forward to 2013 - BF was dx with Alzheimers and his daughter was his medical power of attorney and she moved him down with her (3 hours away from me).  She and I became fast friends and she did this all alone bc her siblings offered zero support so I would go visit often and offer whatever help I could - he died 3 months ago.  

Life lesson I learned - my parents were great and we watched/learned by observing my father care for his family.  When he was sick and dying every one of his kids were deeply involved in his care - - - I attribute it to the fact that we all learned by example of what it means for family to come together and do whatever was necessary to care for family.  

[Mom2Dogs]

This lesson learned is on a peronal level.    I have 4 siblings...we are not close...got worse after parents died.  Sometimes I find it hard to believe we have the same parents.

One sister is for lack of a better word, 'odd'....at one point in my life I lived with her and her dh for a few months after graduating high school.  She did not seem to have the odd tendencies that she does today or I could not have lived with them. Honestly I cannot even put a finger on what is 'odd', but let's say she 'dances to the tune of a different drummer'

She visits my home every few years, the visit a couple years ago did not go well.  There were no harsh words, arguments or anything like that.  I just had a hard time being around her to much.   She made a few messes in the house and did not pick up after her self...which irked  me....after she left I did feel bad but I really felt like someone/something in my body had taken over....that is not my typcal behavior/personality.

She was recently here for another visit, it went better this time, I was a tad better about being chatty but again she does not share much.  We did discuss her will, burial, etc and I could see that she is very, very sad about her relationship with her children, two of the three have very little to do with her and honestly I do not know why.  She is (as well as her kids)  a Christian and knows that she will see them again, but not being able to see them on this earth is very painful to her.....I saw a different side of her this last week, and I feel great empathy for her.  I vowed to myself to keep in touch, no matter how difficult it can be....she is in a lot of emotional pain.  It never hurts to be kind.

[halfpint1]

Probably nothing much for life did not repeat itself. To thank my husband who passed away almost 3 years ago and left something to me for the end of my days.

[SelahG]

I am wishing you all the best, @Happiness Is Inside JOB. Soon an end to the furlough and with maintaining your goals. 

My life, through losing my mother in my childhood, an early widowhood, loss of my firstborn, a few distant moves for employment after lay-offs, and now nearing retirement age ... has shown me to take no one or nothing for granted. Even the best made plans can go up in smoke, but I still do hope for the best while trying to plan for the worst.

My “treasures” are the blessings I count, but with finances, the same tried and true logic remains with me as it always has for my father. 

Live simply — within my means. Save for the rainy days. If I can’t afford to pay myself (savings account) first each week, I've already blown my budget. 

[lovesrecess]

There is a way to close the accounts without it affecting your credit score negatively... but I don’t remember how....maybe someone else here will let us know!