Among Friends

[Vivian]

I truly understand how frustrating this problem can be. One of my daughters continually posted pictures of my grandchildren on Facebook. I thought it was inappropriate but when I complained, she insisted everything was secure. That proved to be untrue. Then last year she posted that her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. That was a bridge too far. My other daughter called her out on it but I don’t think it did any good, I never told my husband about it because he’d be very hurt and angry

[x Hedge]

I totally understand, @Vivian .

My sister not only includes my photos, but has written (whatever she thinks she knows) about my diagnosis and other personal info I won't mention here.

She shares with people who knew us growing up, whom I haven't had any contact with for decades.

Then I have these people writing me letters, casually referring to things they read about me and my life that are absolutely none of their business!

[Thrive]

I am so sorry that you have yo go through this.  I thought my situation was difficult.  Your sister takes it to a new level!

[lovesrecess]

You can contact FB and tell them your privacy has been invaded.

[NYC Susan]

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@threecees wrote:

I would limit my time around her. The less the better.

Then she will start asking why we don't get together as much.

She does not listen to you or obviously care.

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I agree.  She clearly has no respect for the OP's wishes.  I wouldn't choose to spend a lot of time in her company.  Life's too short, and we should surround ourselves with people who make us feel good.  

I'm pretty active on social media, as are most of my family and friends.  I never like the way I look in photos and I also have somewhat of a public presence.  So everyone knows they can take all the photos they want, but I prefer they not be posted anywhere without my consent.  And I know other people who have asked that photos of their kids or their vacation or whatever not be posted. Once someone makes a request like that, it should be respected.

So this is not a "social media, these are the times we're living in" problem.  This is about being treated disrespectfully.  If she's been told several times and still continues to do it, that says a lot about her and for sure I would keep my distance until she apologized, promised to stop, and did.  It's inexcusable, IMO, that she so blatantly ignores the OP's simple request.

[NYC Susan]

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@Thrive wrote:

Her page is private too.  However, she has a large following of people THAT I DO NOT KNOW.  In addition, people or family should get to decide which pictures are or aren't to their liking that are about to be posted. Their privacy as well should be respected..

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I agree!  It doesn't matter that it's private.  You don't want your photos there, and she should honor your wishes.  

[NYC Susan]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

@Thrive are you on Facebook too?

If so, you can adjust your settings to notify you first if she tags you in a photo and you can accept or deny it.

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Yes, but that just means her name won't appear.  I guess that might make her feel better, but the photo will still be there - just not tagged with her name.

[NYC Susan]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

Oh, I can relate to that.  I want to be in control of my own image, I want to decide if something goes up on FB but I have given up that battle.  People are obsessed with FB and they have no respect for what others want or don't want as long as they do their FB thing.  I try to remove myself when I see those cell phones out but sometimes, I have no control.  Your sister is just pushing your buttons, she's just ignoring your wishes to be mean.  There's nothing you can do.

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I disagree.  Certainly there are some people who are as you describe, but it's not the majority. The people I know who are pretty active on FB are not obsessed with it, and they care more about the feelings of their friends and family than doing "their FB thing".  I see people having respect for each other every single day, and not just among my own circle of friends.

I'm not saying that the people I know are special in any way.  It's exactly the opposite.  I think that most people who use social media actually have pretty well-balanced lives, and social media is just a part of that.  I hear all the time about people requesting that their photos or their posts not be shared, and this thread is the first time I've ever heard of anyone refusing to honor those kind of requests.