Among Friends

[blackhole99]

@qvc chickI don't know how well I'd fare if I was living alone. I don't know about you, but I would not be looking forward to a very quiet, empty house, especially at night. I live in a remote area and I would not want people knowing I'm alone. At least you have your dogs and are still working.You have to let your kids go, I know I miss my son, but they have their own lives. I guess we need to be thankful that they were raised right and can make it on their own. I thank God my husband is still living and with me. Have you thought about renting out a room to someone you know well and trust?

[Kachina624]

I've lived alone for years and love it this way.  As long as you have a dog (s), you're not alone.  I always found it difficult to have another person running in and out of my house.  When kids move in and out, it's always a difficult adjustment for mom.

[~k~]

---

@Mactective wrote:

EMBRACE IT!  Do all the things you haven't been able to do up until now!  Eat when you want and what you want without worrying about what your son wants.  Dance around the house wiht the music turned up loud.  Wear what you want around the house - or nothing at all!  Paint the whole house PINK! (or any other color you want.) 

Seriously - you have to make a "new" sort of life for yourself now.  Stay connected to friends and if you don't have any - make some.  Join a club or two so you can stay social.  If you are active in church, invite some other single ladies out to dinner or a movie with you.  Develop some hobbies.  Join a book club, walking club, coffee club - or start one!

If you start feeling bad, do something good for other people.  Volunteer some time or talent to people that are not doing as well as you are and you will feel better immediately.

Lastly, do some things to make yourself feel safe at night so you can sleep well.  Get a dog or a new alarm system or take other security measures so you don't feel vulnerable in your own home. 

Remember:  This isn't a sad or lonely time in your life - it's just a new chapter and you can make of it what you want. 

---

THIS!   Life is all about change.  My husband has traveled most of our married life.   I learned long ago that being alone can be very calming.  Pears, white cheddar and trisket for supper.   Lights out when I’m sleepy.  Maybe I’ll go out for some lunch, or——maybe not.  A turkey sammich is just right.  Hubby is getting ready to retire, and I’m excited for him, but I know things will change—- & it’s all good.   Embrace your new-found independence!   It’s your time! 

[Mary Bailey]

It's still hard for me.  Some parts of it I like but

I really miss my kids, they are 32 & 30. I have a grandson.

Now I have a something new to get used to, my youngest, his fiancee & grandson are moving to Dallas. I rarely see the now and now it's going to be much less.

I work-out more, and I drink more wine! LOL

[jeanlake]

I'm beginning to approach many areas of life like this -- One day at a time and try to make it a good day. If it's a sad or uneventful day, then have thankful thoughts - be kind to myself - and try it again the next morning. And if I feel sorry for myself -- try not to over share that. It scares off neighbors, friends, church folk and family. I know, sad but true. Those closest to us don't always want to 'hear' about it. Be encouraged. I know this reality is tough.

[IMW]

Give yourself time to adjust. Get a security expert in,sometimes the police offer this free, to see what needs to be done to secure your house.

Be kind to yourself, if necessary keep music, or tv on for company for awhile.

Think about getting a pet- dogs, of course can be great watch dogs and company.

Good Luck

[AussieLuvr]

Sometimes we can talk ourselves into anxiety, so maybe you should just make a plan for your first week and take it one day at a time. If you give yourself a goal of getting through one day at a time, I'd bet anything that after a few weeks you are finding that you don't mind the freedom one little bit! My husband works a weird shift and between his time at work and his weird sleep schedule, I spend most of my time alone. Here are a few ideas for that first week:

• Candlelit, delivered Chinese food for one, lol
• A long bath with lots of bubbles, music, and candles.
• Try a new recipe that is a complete departure from what you usually eat
• A walk through your yard with a camera to take pics of flowers, birds, etc.
• Make a list of all of the books you've been meaning to read, but haven't.
• Start reading one of them.
• Make a Spring cleaning plan. I find if I do thirty minutes a day, it isn't so overwhelming.
• Buy some new plants and find out how to care for them; place them where you'll see them often in your home.
• Change your pictures around in your home. You can find gallery templates online to make them look professionally grouped.
• Use an online paint app to upload photos of the rooms in your house and play with color changes - even if you never do anything about it, lol.
• Do you have any interest in genealogy? I lose myself in it for hours and hours, sometimes every day!
• I taught myself how to do the new dip powder manicures. I save money and my nails look like a pro did them. It's like an art project!
• Set a goal to make a new friend by volunteering, joining a club, playing Bingo, starting up a book club, joining an exercise group, go swimming at the YMCA.
• Start planning your next vacation.
• Clean out your closets and sell stuff on eBay so that you can start buying a new wardrobe all over again, lol.

Anyway, you get the idea. If you make a list and try to spend some time on at least one of your mini goals each day, the first weeks will pass before you know it. Pick a day on the calendar and let yourself regroup mentally to see what you need to do differently to make yourself more content.

I like the idea of the security system; we got one because I spend so much time home alone. I am so happy we did; I am very comfortable and secure in our home when I'm alone, now.

I no longer work and my husband will retire in about five years. I have grown to enjoy the freedom of being alone that I'm not sure if I'll even LIKE having him hanging around the house, LOL. 

[qvc chick]

Thank you for the great advise.

But I have to say,  I do not have any fear of my safety.  I live in a nice area, and have the two dogs, so not really worried about that.

Just more worried about sitting alone in an empty house

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@qvc chick  How old is your son and why is he moving out?

[Tinkrbl44]

---

@qvc chick wrote:

I am currently in a single family home, my adult son lives with me, but he is moving out next month.  My daugher has her own place a few miles away.

I am not sure how I feel about living alone.  Benn divorced for many years, and now with my son moving, will be all alone, except for my dogs. 

Feeling a little sad, and probably will be lonely.  Have alot of friends, but all of a sudden, the empty rooms/no noise, scare me.

Any tips?

---

@qvc chick

Why do you assume this is a bad thing?   

Yes, there is a short period of adjustment coming, but you might actually enjoy having the whole place to yourself with your doggies.   More freedom means less restrictions. 

Being alone and being lonely are two completely different states of mind.

You didn't say how far away your son is moving, but you obviously have friends and your daughter nearby, so it's not going to be like you're stranded at the North Pole.  

Life is a lot more than just having a noisy house.  Just remember ....  YOU create your life, and your next step is going to be yours to do with as you please.   

Instead of being apprehensive, why not get excited about a new opportunity?  Lots of people THRIVE while living alone.