Among Friends

[TamiT28]

Thank you everyone for the well wishes for my new job and for the advice and thoughts on this situation! I am definitely going to move on and enjoy my promotion all the while learning from this experience.

[silkyk]

Too bad you can't return the "favor"....but I have a nice bright purple Sharpie that would love to help you (me too)! Just kidding....enjoy your new job! She was probably just plain jealous. Be glad she is in your rearview mirror.

[Vickiv]

Congratulations on your new job. I'm sure you have earned it. Some people in life can be so mean and envious of others. Sounds like your coworker. I would not pursue no more. Drop it move on. Remember you are the better person you got the promotion. Sounds like she had a fit of anger toward you. Magic marker was her lasting proof of envy.

Childish indeed!

[Bigbro]

Go to your new job and thank goodness you do not work with them anymore. It sounds like the Director didn't care what the nurse did to you. I have a situation at work that not sure what to do either, but I have to work with temp until my boss come back from disability. I am so happy to start a new job on Monday. Look forward to new horizons !!! I cannot. Take care

[chiclets]

Most people probably would be upset by the actions of the nurse and not think it was funny.  However, the black spot did wipe off.  There and then you should have addressed and settled the incident with the nurse, instead you complained to your supervisor.  The nurse apologized, accept it.  Let go, and get out of the sandbox, and move on already.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@TamiT28 wrote:

I am a secretary who works in the ER department at the largest local hospital. I do not work with patients, I am behind the scenes typing letters for doctors, tracking RN licenses and certifications, entering RN schedules into a database. I have worked at this job for 14 months.

A few weeks ago, I received a promotion to a higher level secretarial position in a different department. Monday will be my first day at the new job. Yesterday afternoon I walked up to the ER Charge Desk where 2 Nursing Supervisors/Charge RN's were sitting. I told them I wanted to give them each a good-bye hug. One of the women stood up and unbeknownst to me she had a black Expo marker in one of her hands. She proceeded to press the marker very hard on my forehead and scribble a large black spot while I was backing up trying to get away (but I only backed up into a large copy machine so I could not escape). I was saying "Ouch, stop, that really hurts." The other nurse just watched as this all happened. I did ask the nurse who was watching if I really did have a black spot on my forehead to which she replied "Yes, it looks like you have gone to Ash Wednesday services." I turned around and squirted some liquid hand sanitizer on my hand and wiped off my forehead and left the area.

About 15 minutes later, I found  my supervisor (he is the Director of the department, he was with the ER Nursing Manager) and told them both what had happened. They looked at me as though I was not telling the truth and neither one of them offered a way for me to report the incident. I had to ask them if they wanted me to write anything down and he told me to email him the story. I went back to my desk and actually sent the email to both of them.

The nurse who scribbled on my face sent me multiple text and phone messages yesterday apologizing profusely and claimed she was just fooling around. I texted a different manager in the ER this evening who replied "Sweep this under the rug and move on to your new job."

I am beyond confused, frustrated, and upset at the way I am being treated,as if this is my fault. Is this okay for an employee to not only touch another employee but to mark up their face? Should I just forget about this and be thankful I don't have to work with this person any longer?

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There's a HUGE difference between friends and acquaintances, and  yet  many people never seem to grasp the difference.

You question whether it's okay to touch another employee .....  but you wanted to hug them?    

I don't know what your relationship has been with the Sharpee Lady, but clearly she didn't want you to hug her!  

Move on to your new job ..... and please  keep your hands to yourself!

[VaBelle35]

Looking at this purely from an HR investigation standpoint (not having interviewed Sharpie), the key here (for me) is that you didn't run for your life as soon as you could.

You say she "attacked" you, but your inclination wasn't to leave  as soon as she marked you but to ask the other nurse if you had a black spot on your head.  And then you went for the Purell and then you left.

You did the absolute right thing to say stop and you're hurting me.  And THAT is what she needs to be counseled on.  One  person's joke is another person's attack, and Sharpie needs to understand that not all humans find her brand of jokes amusing.

But, the fact that you were more concerned about the black spot than your safety, says to me that she really didn't pose a threat to you physically.

As the post above suggests, you aren't opposed to touching in the workplace as you wanted to hug them goodbye.  But your idea of touching and her idea of touching are two very different things and I would submit her brand of touching/joking needs to be reigned in.

[GCR18]

I would move on, don't look back and not hug anymore co-workers.

[hckynutjohn]

I am usually one that finishes things I start. Personally, being a male(so you can weigh my response), this is not something that would bother me. Maybe things effect woman different than men, I really do not know.

I've had some co-workers do some strange things, but unless I was truly physically injured? I would tell that person what I thought and leave it at that. I am not one that pulls or likes "practical jokes", that is just who I am. Never did and probably never will.

Did I answer. Don't remember, I would chalk it up and move on.

[Moonchilde]

My 2 cents - I have worked in major hospitals for 46 years. The work culture in the ER and OR (and probably ICU) is unto itself. You either fit in or you don't. You are either "one of them" or you're not. Life in those areas, if you are not a part of the group (not decided by you), can be brutal. If you're not in, you're often very out.

This sounds to me like you have not been accepted and have never realized it. It sounds as if these folks just don't like you. 

Is it okay, what the woman did? No. But it could happen again, in a different area/setting, depending on the OP. First of all - hands off. No touch-feely, no hugs, etc. unless you are *positive* the recipient is okay with it.  Where I am employed, by their HR rules, simply putting a hand on someone's shoulder, if they don't want you to, is harassment. But you don't have a leg to stand on because of your hug comment.

Yes, managers and supervisors in these areas are protective of staff. Yes they will blow it off. Yes, she would get a black mark in her HR file if you took it to the top - but thereafter, no department would welcome you, and you'd need to be okay with that. Fair or right, no - but it is what it is.

For the people claiming there is jealousy involved - um...no. RNs in ERs *choose* their work. They would not want a promotion "out." And RNs would not be "jealous" of non-RNs.