Kids at weddings - Page 4

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I think you know that the etiquette regarding wedding invitations has not changed. That's pretty much the only thing about weddings that hasn't changed. Your friend knows full well that her tiny little children will not be welcome at the wedding and that it will be a miserable experience for them. She just wants to pressure the bride into relenting so she can show them off and take pictures for social media.

BExplorer · ‎12-08-2013

I will offer the dissenting opinion here 😬. My children each got married within the past three years and we never even thought about not inviting peoples' children. Entire families are welcome at our weddings. My whole extended family handled their weddings like that as well.

However, since the invitation was addressed only to the friend, it is absolutely clear that her children are not invited. I absolutely agree it is in poor taste for the friend to ask the bride and sure hope she doesn't do that.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."--Eleanor Roosevelt

PhillyGirl23 · ‎01-20-2022

Why would anyone ask if they could bring children???? My goodness, that's incredibly rude.

Unless you are extremely close friends or family, kids generally are not included. Can you imagine if guests all brought their kids??? NO NO NO.

There is NO general rule!!! If the bride/groom chooses to have children attend, they will reach out and offer. Otherwise, get a sitter!

My wedding was a black-tie affair, and I did not want kids there. I have only been to one wedding with children present and it was much more laud back affair.

PhillyGirl23 · ‎01-20-2022

She should not ask! They weren't invited!

hopi · ‎03-09-2010

Have absoulutely no problem with kids at a wedding, it's a family affair.....

unless they have not been invited....

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

One of the last weddings I attended was a complete mess. One child about 4 years old SCREAMED throughout the entire ceremony. You could not hear anything over the child's screaming. No one attempted to take the child to the "crying room". So for the entire service all you could hear was screaming when people were talking.

The music helped to drown out the screaming. I felt so bad for the bride and her parents. I know they put alot of work, time, effort and money into making this a special day. And all anyone remembers was the screaming child.

You don't know how kids are going to act. I am sure the kids will be tired during a evening wedding and may act it.

Many weddings I have attended a babysitter or two were hired to keep kids in their own area and doing games and crafts. And the children were not expected to attend the ceremony and reception.

Twins Mom · ‎04-03-2016

@stevieb

And to piggyback on your response, if she indicates she does not have a babysitter or can't afford, she needs to accept the fact that this is a situation as a parent you suck it up and accept that you must bow out.

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

The children in question are a "former co workers" kids. Not family kids. If they were wanted at the wedding perhaps the "former co workers daughter" would have asked them to be the flower girl or ring bearer.

@Trailrun23 Don't forget to let us know how this turns out. I'd be curious to hear your friends response to this awkward situation. I can feel the hurt feelings from here.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@KBEANS wrote:
The children in question are a "former co workers" kids. Not family kids. If they were wanted at the wedding perhaps the "former co workers daughter" would have asked them to be the flower girl or ring bearer.

@Trailrun23 Don't forget to let us know how this turns out. I'd be curious to hear your friends response to this awkward situation. I can feel the hurt feelings from here.

You're probably right about the potentially hurt feelings, but there shouldn't be any. The idea of three children under 10 going to a formal evening wedding with a sit down reception to follow with an iPad to occupy them and expecting the wedding party to foot the bill for three extra plates, and given this is a former boss's daughter's wedding, simply boggles the mind. As so many have said, had the invitation been issued to her family, things would have been different, but it wasn't and the intent is clear. She is the only invitee and again, it would be socially graceless even to seek 'clarification' where none is needed. Either go or don't go. The children stay home. This woman might well be a nice person and wonderful mother but can anyone really be this clueless?

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

@stevieb

I agree with you 100%. Some people feel so entitled and push their wants and needs on everyone. The minute you have to "ask" someone about the invitation and put them in an awkward position; you know that an uncomfortable conversation is going to take place.

The co worker has now been put in a very disagreeable situation with her own daughter. The bride doesn't need this added stress. She especially doesn't need conflict with her mother. I'm sure mom had to gun for these people to be invited to begin with. (her coworkers)

From the get go, when my sister had a grand wedding, when any of her immediate family... including mom inquired about the guest list; my sister pulled it out and firmly stated these are the people that are invited and that's all I have room for. End of conversation.