Among Friends

[chickenbutt]

I've been following this story.  Wow, how often do we all agree at the bottom line?

I'm with the rest of you as to the invitation.  She was invited.  Her kids were NOT.  PERIOD.  I also agree that it would be terribly tacky to even inquire as to if she can bring them, even though they were not invited.

Does she not get that it's a formal, evening wedding?    Doesn't she know what that is?   

Like the others, I am interested in how this ends up playing out.    I've seen stories of people where they would just do whatever they wanted, anyway, and sincerely hope this person is not one to do that.  Either get a babysitter and go, or stay home.  Those are the choices.   It's not always about you and sometimes you have to consider others and the bigger picture.

[Enufstuff]

@chickenbutt  Amen!

[San Antonio Gal]

I hope @Trailrun23 comes back and tells us the outcome.  Hopefully she was able to show her friend the responses in this thread.

[ScarletDove]

No to taking children; no to calling bride and asking about taking children; yes to getting babysitter if choose to attend wedding!  It is just that simple as other posters have stated!

[JeanLouiseFinch]

You are correct, @Trailrun23 

Admittedly, I haven't read every response.  Etiquette doesn't change, IMO.  The names on the invitation only. If "and guest" is included for a single invitee, that means someone their age - aka a date.  If children were included in the invitation, the address would say "and family".  Your friend isn't stupid, she's looking for approval to do something against the rules, IMO.  It is both rude and presumptuous on the invitee's part to think they can take three kids who the bride, groom, or her parents pay a large per plate fee for and then them not eat, or for the kids to act up because it's an evening affair and they would be bored and up past their bedtime.   We're working on our daughter's wedding right now and I'd be ticked if someone pulled that cr@p.  

[BarbiHollywood]

@Trailrun23  Pleeeez tell your friend to LEAVE THOSE KIDS AT HOME.

[sandy53]

Thirty-nine years later I still regret not allowing children at my wedding.  I caused my cousins and some other out of town guests child care problems that were not necessary.  It would have been fine to included the kids.

[Blondie59]

  I have been at formal weddings, black tie, where children would not be welcome. Not anyone's fault, just the way it is.   At $250 a person, I don't think it's the right venue.  I've also been to weddings with children that were wonderful.   Either way, it's the bride's choice, not the guests'.  38 years ago when I got married, I had a cutoff at age 13. I can't even remember why, but it made sense to me!  Lol

[Kachina624]

@Trailrun23    Do you have a report for us on what your friend has decided to do?

[CANDLEQUEEN]

I had a casual outdoor wedding 41 years ago, so kids were perfectly fine attending. However, at an indoor , more formal setting-absolutely not! Get a babysitter, you will enjoy yourself more, the kids won't be miserable, and the Bride and Groom can enjoy their Special Day!!!