Valued Contributor
Posts: 896
Registered: ‎05-31-2022

What is the current etiquette regarding children at weddings? We haven't been to a wedding in quite a while and I know things have changed. We are invited to the wedding of our former bosses' daughter in late September. We plan on attending and have RSVP'd.  A friend called me and asked me if it's okay to take her three young kids to the wedding . I asked if they were invited and she said only her name was on the invite.  I don't think you take anyone to a wedding unless their name is on the invite, or it says "and family " or " and guest". Is this still the case? Her kids are 3, 4, and 7. The wedding will be an evening, formal one. She said she may just call the bride and ask if it's okay to bring the kids. I hope she doesn't do that! 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 29,546
Registered: ‎05-17-2010

@Trailrun22   If the invitation only has one name on it, that's the intended guest..."plus one" means you can bring someone else, but I'd ask the bride if that means a child.


Of course, that puts the bride in a tough spot to say "yes" even if she did not intend to have children there.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,987
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Of course she should ask first & the person who can give her the correct answer is the bride.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,419
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Why ever would she even want to bring three small children to a formal, evening wedding????????

Honored Contributor
Posts: 63,544
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Kids at weddings

[ Edited ]

No. I wouldn't assume the invitation extends to her brood, nor do I think it's appropriate for her to call and ask. It's awkward and almost feels like she's not merely asking if, but is asking to bring them. If she wants to go, she should get a baby sitter and be done with it. Especially given the ages of the children, I can't imagine them attending is a good idea. This is an evening wedding, formal and likely with a nicer reception to follow. Sorry, but it doesn't take a whiz kid to know this is not a venue for young children.

In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Valued Contributor
Posts: 600
Registered: ‎05-24-2015



I wouldn’t take the kids and I wouldn’t call the bride to ask either.

Tell your friend to get a babysitter for the kids.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 896
Registered: ‎05-31-2022

I was hoping she would find a babysitter and not ask the bride if it's okay to bring them. I can't imagine how her three who are so young are going to be quiet and still for the ceremony;  the reception will be a plated sit-down dinner so that is another thing I don't think they could handle. Also, she told me her plan on taking her kids was to take their iPads with them so they are quiet. Smh! 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,430
Registered: ‎11-03-2018

If only her name was on the invitation, then her kids are not invited.  I would  not call and ask the bride either, as that would be putting her on the spot.  If she does not want to leave her kids at home, she shouldn't attend the wedding. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,343
Registered: ‎12-24-2010

When food will be served - bride counts INVITED number of people and that number of plates is made available by the food service.  


And.......each plate has a cost (price) 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,916
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

As others stated - friend needs to get a babysitter or not attend. The kids haven't been invited and ipads are not appropriate and calling the bride about this isn't either. Maybe tell the friend how tacky this would be and probably isn't the impression she'd want to leave.