@Hondagirl wrote:
There are issues that I did not get into.... Yes his work schedule has made our situation much harder but I did not mention that when he leaves work some days he heads to the bar and gets to the house when he feels like it. We have had many discussions about this and have had him leave for the night but he continues to do what he wants... So when this Saturday and Sunday work schedule put another wrench in our time it was not working for me again.... I work every day from 8:30 - 4:00 and can't keep taking days off to do something with BF... The other day he had off and I did not know. He ended up at the bar in the afternoon and came home again late. Dinner was made and I ate alone... Don't feel I need to put up with ****** from a BF but I do care for him and don't want to end it but the drinking will break us up one day...He said he would like to get another job but he likes all the people he works with and they like him... I will never or plan to ask him to change jobs.... I have a few more years to work before I retire and since he is younger than me he has many more years to work. No I am not bailing out on him but I am tired of putting up with anyone's ******...
This does change things, hondagirl. You have to ask yourself how you'll feel if you break it off or maybe ask him to move out. Why did he move in with you in the first place? That might give you a clue as to what to do going forward. It sounds to me as if you don't want to be alone, which is a perfectly acceptable motive.
Do you ever feel sometimes as if you are at least in some ways his mother/caretaker? I wonder about that from this post, but I have very limited information. Is he irresponsible? Have things changed since he moved in?
You could always keep your eye out for someone else and if you find someone you like a lot ask him to move out. If he's not worthy of being your one and only and you two don't have a commitment, you shouldn't feel as if you can't go out with other men while he's at work. I suppose if he found out that would end it, so it's a risk.
Just a few thoughts off the top of my head. The two of you aren't married, don't have children together, and it at least sounds as if you aren't super committed to him. Look out for your own best interests, as you just might find out down the line he's doing that for himself. My apologies if I'm interpreting your posts the wrong way.
P.S.: When I was in college, I knew a couple who'd been together for at least a couple of years. One day the gal came to me asking for advice. She'd met a very nice guy at church. He'd walk her home after church and really wanted to date her. She was confused about the whole thing and her commitment to the other guy. I felt obligated to answer honestly even though I knew her boyfriend too. I could tell she liked the guy and advised that she go out with him and see where it went. She was not engaged to her current boyfriend, but even that wouldn't matter because they weren't married and it would be wrong for her to marry the wrong person. She ended up marrying the other guy. Keep your eyes open and look out for #!.
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