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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,885
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

[ Edited ]

Many years ago, right after my first grandchild was born, I began keeping a journal. My DIL and I butted heads a couple of times (we've long since moved past that and are dear friends) and I wrote about it in great detail, along with all my negative feelings about many things.

 

After about a year I re-read what I'd written and shredded every page. I didn't want any family members reading about past hurts, anger, resentments, especially after things got so much better.

 

My thoughts were my own and I didn't want to share them and have not kept a journal since.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,535
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

@house_cat  I don't think I would be hasty about getting rid of them.  If there is anything that would change your children's opinion or feelings about you in a negative way, I wouldn't leave them.  If they just paint a deeper picture of who you are, then leave them.  They can make the decision of reading them or not. 

 

I think leaving a note with them or making a few comments in the margins as you read them would be a real addition. 

 

You could even ask your children if they think they may want to read them someday when you are gone. 

 

I am sure you will make the right decision. 

"Greater is the One living inside of me, than he who is living in the world."
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,542
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

@Just Bling

 

I'm glad the discussion helped you to make a decision.

 

@tends2dogs

 

I like the idea about putting notes in the margins.  That's not possible on most of the books, but I could tuck away "editor's notes" of sorts, to shed insight on some of the more questionable entries.

 

Nothing in the books should change anyone's opinion of me, though it may force my kids to realize that their dad and I were young and passionate once, if you get my drift, lol.  Nothing is graphic or shocking in any way, just honest - the first book moreso than the subsequent books, because as my children grew I became more cognizant of the fact that they might be reading them someday.

 

~ house cat ~
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,559
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

@house_cat

 

I didn't have an opportunity to ask my mom what to do with these letters since I didn't know they existed.  You do, tell your kids what you have and  talk about it as a family, and then everyone will be one the same "page".

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,535
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.


@house_cat wrote:

@Just Bling

 

I'm glad the discussion helped you to make a decision.

 

@tends2dogs

 

I like the idea about putting notes in the margins.  That's not possible on most of the books, but I could tuck away "editor's notes" of sorts, to shed insight on some of the more questionable entries.

 

Nothing in the books should change anyone's opinion of me, though it may force my kids to realize that their dad and I were young and passionate once, if you get my drift, lol.  Nothing is graphic or shocking in any way, just honest - the first book moreso than the subsequent books, because as my children grew I became more cognizant of the fact that they might be reading them someday.

 


Well, there is your answer, @house_cat.  They aren't discrimminating (LOL) .  They just show your children (I assume they are adults?) that you and your DH are human, went through a growing up process, have made mistakes, and despite all that, you still love each other.  Sounds like a Hallmark movie to me!  Well done.  Your kids are blessed.

"Greater is the One living inside of me, than he who is living in the world."
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,715
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

I do not journal - neither did my parents who are now gone - but I write lots of poetry about events that occur in my life from early years to present day.   I do not sit and write they just seem to come to me at odd times - nothing planned happiness or sadness prompts them and r erroneous gets a poem on their birthday.

 

 My middle granddaughter found one of my books, read some of the poems, came running into me saying Nana these are wonderful please can I have them.

 

I have never shown these to my family but now think maybe my grandchildren would like to read them when I am no longer here - I planned to shred them but now not sure.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,818
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

I kept a journal in high school and college. Very open, and heartfelt thoughts, ideas, and events of a young, growing woman.  They contained private information I would never want shared.  I burned them ceremoniously a few years ago.  Even if I had children I would not have saved them.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,670
Registered: ‎03-28-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.


@house_cat wrote:

Yesterday I was sorting through almost four decades of my personal journals.  I started them just before my husband and I began dating and I still journal to this day.

 

I read through the first few.  Some of the memories are absolutely precious and some are quite personal, others even sad. None of it reveals family secrets or would be compromising to anyone's privacy.

Still, I'm torn on whether or not to save them.  

 

I keep them in a beautiful trunk in my closet. I was thinking of enclosing a note in the trunk, telling my kids that they are not obligated to read them and I won't be offended in the least if they dumped them after I'm gone.

 

I really don't know what to do about them. 

 

Have any of you been faced with this situation upon the death of a loved one?  I'd really appreciate some honest feedback.

 

Thank you.


I burned mine.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

I kept a diary/journal from 1978 until 2006.  I think they were therapeutic for me and I was brutally honest in them whether I was happy or not so happy.  When I picked them up and started to read them in chronological order I realized I didn't want to look back - I shredded every last one of them.

 

It's funny, I could never keep a diary/journal again after that.  I've tried a couple of times and it felt forced so I figure I don't need it anymore.

 

 

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Journals/Diaries of deceased loved ones.

I found some of my diaries from 30+ years ago,  I shredded them, 

no-ones biz  and no need for anyone to see them, and I felt right doing that .