Among Friends

[Still keeper of the koi]

I  said I would come back Friday to share the first chapter of my book I submitted.I will shorten it for here.

Sometimes In our darkest moments we expect the clouds to part ,a voice to say,"I will save you".It doesn't happen like this, well kind of.If you are lost,  in pain, or just searching for that MOMENT,let me show you mine,maybe you will look for that voice in a different way....

I had been married for 13 years to a wonderful man, his family was my family,I finally had a family,we owned 3 homes ,a boat, belong to several clubs,traveled any place we fancied.One year we went to Vegas than the winter Olympics in Utah, than on the way home went to Hawaii for 3 weeks!I was jaded, happy AND full of myself.That fall I learned I had Hodgkin Lymphoma....As I was treated the effects were life changing,I started to lose my beautiful knee length hair..Could I live through this?I couldn't function ..I was always faithful to the creator,but when things were going good, I had tucked away my faith.It had served me as a child,I was protected by power,I had survived a childhood of pain and abuse. I know this. I made it through the holidays,I can't remember anything that happened.My husband stopped speaking ,for fear he would cry,he walked around me like I was already dead.The fear was visible like a  broken dish,it just was there.If you picked it up you would be in pain,so you walk around it trying to pretend. That new years eve, my husband had fallen asleep,I walked out onto the cold air,Now this part is etched in my heart and mind forever...I could feel that cool feeling in my lungs ,it felt like being wide awake,it actually was  a feeling of peace,And in that peaceful moment,I walked down our long long driveway, and decided to die. All that pain ,I watched myself like a movie.It was so vivid. I walked into the road,I stood there for what seemed like eternity.I saw these incredibly bright lights, I closed my eyes waiting for it to all be gone...Someone yelled out a truck window as they swerved around me,"Get out of the road,Do you want to die?" And oddly I started to laugh, You saw me ,you love me, I knew I could fight,I wasn't done yet...I walked up the driveway,  smiling looking at the stars. My words weren't  what I had thought I would hear,but they changed my life..When I closed that front door that night so many years ago,I opened the door to the life I was chosen to live.......

I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse...Hugs,MaryAnne 

[carmandees]

Hi @Still keeper of the koi! Your posts are so sweet!

I see your submitting chapters to an editor ~ have you checked with them about posting the book free for all to read on a public board? 

Im glad you're well ~ you've had a life of so many troubles it almost reads like fiction and how you came out as such a positive hopeful person is wonderful and an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your love and joy.

❤️💙💚💛❤️

[Still keeper of the koi]

@carmandees,Thank you so much for your  kind words.My life has taken very interesting changes indeed. I have a blog so I share parts of my book there.I did make sure this was ok,as long as it's changed a bit , and not a large amount. Thanks again ,hugs,MaryAnne

[NicksmomESQ]

@Still keeper of the koi  MaryAnne you always inspire me!! Thank you for sharing 🙏. Your story stuck a very personal chord in me. Thank you!!

[Skididdy]

@Still keeper of the koi, I was happy when I say your post.

JUST WOW !!!!!  Your words, how you describe your MOMENT, just brilliant choice words.  As I read...I found myself pushing thru to get to the next word..to get to the end..and find out WHAT you were expressing.  To an avid reader, as I, that does not come from all authors.  You, my dear, are an author...a writer.

I pause, and think what you have gone thru, and think its so much for one to bear.  But here you are sharing you words with us, in hopes , I think, to help someone else.

You are an uplifting spirit.  We are grateful to have you.

Thanks for your inspiration, words, and a GLIMPSE !!!

[Zhills]

First, let me say, I don't like to read.  Never have liked to read.

I've heard that you should "always leave them wanting more...." and you certainly did that!  Wow!  Can't wait to get your book....in the meantime, keep your posts coming.  I love them!  Such a powerful message!

[meallen616]

@Still keeper of the koi,

Powerful words MaryAnne,

Keep the posts coming,

[zitawins]

@Still keeper of the koi     You have an interesting start, but I hope you plan to get a profesional editor to look at your manuscript. It needs much editing and grammar and punctuation help before you send to a publisher. I do this type of work myself and I am also a published writer.

In re-reading your post, I see you have already submitted the first chapter. I hope you have good luck.

[AngelPuppy1]

It was truly lovely and inspiring and touched my heart.  I read your pain and your joy.  I wanted to keep reading!  I think your book will really be a joy to so many people.  Anyone who has known pain and suffering of any kind will identify with you and your words.  

[Still keeper of the koi]

@zitawins,Thank you for your concern.This was not submitted in this form,I type here on my phone in a condensed version,my phone doesn't acknowledge paragraphs and also when speaking into the phone it punctuates itself. I realize we all like different types of writing,I am surprised of your comments.This wasn't put here  looking for  advice on writing.It was posted to get a brief look at the first chapter..  Maryanne