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07-24-2015 12:10 PM
07-24-2015 02:08 PM
You explained your reasons for saying "no" at this time and if she is a "big girl" she should be able to accept that. Assuming she will return later the same way would it be possible for her to stop by on her way home? Feelings are delicate and I certainly would not want you to risk your friendship with your friend (her mother) in NY so maybe you could arrange another time for her daughter. Would this be within the realm of possibility?
07-24-2015 03:09 PM - edited 07-24-2015 03:11 PM
I'll never understand why women feel guilty for saying "No". Do you think guys feel guilty, or fret when they say "No"? Of course they don't! So why should women? Why women feel as though that they have to please everybody, or risk "disappointing" them, is beyond me. So what if they are disappointed? That is their problem, not yours.
Saying, "No" is very empowering. It says that YOUR needs matter and come FIRST.
Women need to get over this silly notion that if they say "No", someone is going to be upset. So what if they are? That's their problem to deal with, not yours.
07-24-2015 05:23 PM
I know I'm pretty new here but my .002 is of COURSE you may decline a visit from a family member or even a friend.
I think a rereading of Emily Post should be made mandatory for every citizen. Social graces, heck, even basic respect for someone is passe.
07-24-2015 05:59 PM
Of course it is perfectly okay to decline visitors.
I always say we would love to see you, except at this time due to a private family matter a visit is not possible, but in future we are sure it would be, and hope you will understand.
07-24-2015 06:18 PM
I think the following update should fall under the heading of IRONY.
I called the daughter this morning to ask if perhaps she could switch the dates a bit and drive back on Sunday, rather than Monday. I'd be happy to see her on Sunday. As it turns out, the person she was going to stay with in San Diego called to tell her that it really wasn't a good weekend for her to visit.
Anyway, we chatted for a while and there don't seem to be any hard feelings.
The moral of this story... be true to yourself.
07-24-2015 06:32 PM
@house_cat wrote:
The moral of this story... be true to yourself.
AMEN :-)
07-24-2015 08:54 PM
YES!
Do not feel guilty!
07-24-2015 09:39 PM
A distant relative of mine named Polonius once said:
"To thine own self be true
and it must follow as the night the day,
thou canst not then be false to any man."
I'm glad it all worked out!
07-24-2015 09:51 PM
@house_cat wrote:I think the following update should fall under the heading of IRONY.
I called the daughter this morning to ask if perhaps she could switch the dates a bit and drive back on Sunday, rather than Monday. I'd be happy to see her on Sunday. As it turns out, the person she was going to stay with in San Diego called to tell her that it really wasn't a good weekend for her to visit.
Anyway, we chatted for a while and there don't seem to be any hard feelings.
The moral of this story... be true to yourself.
Poor girl. It sounds like nobody wants to see her! (kidding!)
When she does come thru your area again, I don't think you need to host her at your house. She wants to see YOU. Meeting for a coffee or meal would accomplish that.
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