Re: Is This Where Entitlement Comes From?

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

YOU see it as entitlement, most people here don't. It's much ado about nothing. You had control of the situation, you just didn't take it.

Children aren't just short adults. Not surprisingly, they act rambunctious often and they always have. This is nothing new.

Sunshine Kate · ‎03-10-2010

@ECBG, this identical scenario happened to me the other day when I was standing in line at the checkout counter.

I couldn't believe it.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@ECBG wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
Respectfully, I see this as a rambunctious little girl who probably never saw you.
@Trinity11The way it happened, she ran and cut in front of me as I turned to go to the door. She most definately saw me.

Then you needed to assert yourself and tell her that she was cutting ahead in the line. This was your opportunity to teach her a life lesson. She probably has no adult that has taught her proper manners. @ECBG, didn't you once post you were a teacher? This was an opportunity missed...

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@Noel7 wrote:
@ECBG

YOU see it as entitlement, most people here don't. It's much ado about nothing. You had control of the situation, you just didn't take it.

Children aren't just short adults. Not surprisingly, they act rambunctious often and they always have. This is nothing new.

@Noel7,Thanks. If you'll reread my post, my intent was to point out that "grandmother" didn't correct the child on her rude behavior.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@Trinity11 wrote:
@ECBG wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
Respectfully, I see this as a rambunctious little girl who probably never saw you.
@Trinity11The way it happened, she ran and cut in front of me as I turned to go to the door. She most definately saw me.
Then you needed to assert yourself and tell her that she was cutting ahead in the line. This was your opportunity to teach her a life lesson. She probably has no adult that has taught her proper manners. @ECBG, didn't you once post you were a teacher? This was an opportunity missed...

@Trinity11,Thank you. I did teach for 36 years and didn't feel it was my place to correct a child that wasn't mine or had her grandmother right there. Also, I don't think it was the kind thing to do in the extremely crowded waiting room.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@ECBG wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
@ECBG wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
Respectfully, I see this as a rambunctious little girl who probably never saw you.
@Trinity11The way it happened, she ran and cut in front of me as I turned to go to the door. She most definately saw me.
Then you needed to assert yourself and tell her that she was cutting ahead in the line. This was your opportunity to teach her a life lesson. She probably has no adult that has taught her proper manners. @ECBG, didn't you once post you were a teacher? This was an opportunity missed...
@Trinity11,Thank you. I did teach for 36 years and didn't feel it was my place to correct a child that wasn't mine or had her grandmother right there. Also, I don't think it was the kind thing to do in the extremely crowded waiting room.

I guess I just see it differently. I love kids but if one cut ahead of me in a line with their grandmother I would speak up and assert myself. Clearly, if you allowed yourself to be scrutinized here, this bothered you. I don't see it as your being kind or it's unkind to speak up.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

           I think we're confusing entitlement with simple, basic, rudeness. We have a sense of entitlement when we feel we have a right to special privileges, and as others said when we decide to pick and choose which laws or rules apply to others but not to us.
          It seems to me this is similar to defining and excusing away "little lies." Is it okay to be "a little bit dishonest" or to be aware we're governed by laws but shop around for the ones we want to follow?    I'm not sure how we teach kids how to decide which rules are okay to "bend."
          Personally, I think we all should do our best to understand social consideration toward others, and the laws of the land, and things like the standards of participation here on the forums, and we always should be diligent in complying.   I do think that's all about integrity and ethics.
          When we're aware of policies, laws or social mores/norms and we choose to ignore them yet we have a pattern of breaking the rules and making excuses...   I think that's a sense of entitlement.   To me, that applies to the examples given of deliberately exceeding the known speed limit and also of intentionally disregarding the Q standards, but stepping ahead in line seems more like rudeness.

I admit I've driven faster than a posted speed and surely transgressed in other ways, so for that reason it's tough to sit in judgment on others. Haven't we all done those things? And if that's the measure... does that mean all of us have a sense of entitlement? Maybe we're just careless at times.
If we're going to justify our going over the speed limit or breaking other rules, then why don't we give a pass to the girl or her grandmother?

If the child knew she was being inconsiderate, if there was no pressing need for them to be first or something more complex about their situation, and if it was part of a pattern I had seen, I suppose that would feel uncomfortable or annoying. But, I have to wonder... entitlement or just bad manners? I think we confuse the two. Interesting topic, @ECBG, as are all the replies!

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

Very well stated, @dooBdoo !!!

BabyYoda · ‎03-09-2010

@Jewel22 wrote:
I think the grandmother told the girl to run and get in line fast. That's how cynical I've become.

OMG @Janey2 I immediately thought this to myself when I read the OP's post. I had this happen recently to me at the grocery store but in this case it was a young mother with no manners who told her boy to get in front of me on the line!!!!

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@dooBdoo, Great discussion. Thanks for your input. Definately, "Grandmother" missed her opening and as the adult responsible for that child she should have instructed the child to get in line with her.

In relation to the child's age, I believe that positive values should be taught as well as modeled from the earliest opportunity. The longer negative behavior goes on the more difficult it is to correct. It would seem that entitlement goes hand in hand with treating others the same way we wish to be treated.