Re: Is This Where Entitlement Comes From?

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

In most circumstances, I would be somewhat vocal about something like this, not to mention stink eye.

But - the OP said it was a doctor's office. She didn't say why people are likely to be visiting this doctor, or how old this particular grandmother was. It's certainly possible that grandma didn't say anything because this time she was sick, felt kwappy, has trouble standing, etc. in this particular instance.

I have appeared at my doctor's office where if I didn't "check in" within the next 3 minutes they would have canceled my emergency appt and I would have been forced to leave without being seen, in great pain. I'd had to drive myself, in pain, in the rain and heavy traffic. I couldhardly stand up. I apologized to the receptionist, and to the gentleman at the head of the line. I explained the situation, she punched a few buttons, said I was "official" and I then got back in line at the end.

Also - haven't many of us been in line at a public restroom and had someone (often with a child) ask if they can go next?

I just think - doctor's office, other factors may come into play.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

What the heck does that have to do with entitlement....lol The little girl...emphasis on little was rude. Nothing more than that. This should have been a teaching moment for the grandmother but you and don't know the family dynamics. Do you even know if the woman was the grandmother? Honestly, I don't why you were so bothered by what you presumed to be a pushy child....emphasis on child. You got your injection, didn't you? The kid didn't knock you on you keester as she pushed past you or did she? I suppose when the woman asked if it was ok for the child to go first, you could have said, no. You didn't do that and I think that's why in your mind, this nothing of an incident is blown out of proportion.

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

If I'm reading this correctly – and forgive me if I'm not – it sounds as if you were walking toward the line but you weren't there yet. It's not as if she pushed in front of you in line. She simply got there first. Is that correct? If so, perhaps she shouldn't have been running inside, but I don't see what the big problem is, unless you were just standing in line and she pushed in front of you as you already were there.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@ECBG wrote:
@Kachina624 wrote:
The grandmother gave you the perfect opportunity to express yourself; what did you say?
@Kachina624,I'm not the one to embarris someone in front of a lot of people. It's needless for two reasons; it's unkind which (2). causes it to fall upon deaf ears.

@ECBG If you don't know how to express your displeasure without causing a scene or embarrassing someone, I guess you'll just have to let them take advantage of you.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@libbyannE wrote:
If I'm reading this correctly – and forgive me if I'm not – it sounds as if you were walking toward the line but you weren't there yet. It's not as if she pushed in front of you in line. She simply got there first. Is that correct? If so, perhaps she shouldn't have been running inside, but I don't see what the big problem is, unless you were just standing in line and she pushed in front of you as you already were there.

That's how I read it too.

It seems to me that two people were heading toward a line, and one moved faster to get there. Not a big deal, IMO. Kids run all the time - For many kids, it's their normal method of moving. The grandmother moved more slowly, so she ended up behind the OP. And then asked if she could move ahead to be with her granddaughter. Which sounds polite to me. It doesn't sound as if either of these people pushed the OP out of her rightful place.

As for kids kicking chairs, etc, I have said to kids in movie theaters, "Can you please stop kicking my seat?" I say it nicely, and they do stop. Most of the time they seem to have been unaware that what they were doing was disturbing someone else. So I speak up in a calm way. Problem solved. But in the OP's situation, I absolutely wouldn't have said anything. IMO there was no reason to say anything at all.

Btw, I have lived and worked in extremely entitled areas, so I could write a book about entitlement!!

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Since you don't know if grandma sent her to run ahead, or if it was the child's idea, I guess I'd address the child, and say, I can't let you do that this time, maybe next time.

Who knows what was going on just prior to this. A child that age learns in school, about taking turns and lining up.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

"Is this where entitlement comes from?" No, not necessarily. This could have been an isolated incident so I can understand why you didn't say anything. Some children just zip around more than others and are charge ahead type kids. The grandmother, I think, missed the opportunity to teach her something if she said nothing. You don't want it to become a habit for that child. That could lead to entitlement. My mother had a word she made up...it was "me-firster"....which she used when she thought we were getting carried away....we knew what she meant when she said, "Quit being a me-firster"! I hadn't thought about that in a long time. This post made me think of it.

ANewHue · ‎11-21-2011

@Jewel22 wrote:
I think the grandmother told the girl to run and get in line fast. That's how cynical I've become.

I thought the same thing. There are people out there that use children to do their dirty work. Here in the North there have been many stories about adult using children to shoplift in stores. Just when you think the world can't get any sadder it does

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@lulu2 wrote:
When I was a child, I'm willing to bet when there was a line, my friends and I raced to be ahead. Seriously you've never walked more quickly from a parking lot to get ahead in a restaurant line? How about a line at an amusement park?

This was a walk-in line. I do not think this is where entitlement begins.

I was a high school teacher in a wealthy district for over 30 years and saw a lot of entitlement. I would not have given the incident described a second thought. The child didn't bump into you or knock you out of way.

This is how I feel. It was an 8 year old child, not a 28 year old adult.

Now granted I do think the grandmother should have said something if she really ran in front of you and cut you off but again, this is a small child.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
When people try to get in line in front of me, I politely inform them that I'm already in line and point them to the end of the line. That's not creating a scene or trying to embarrass someone that's giving them an option to realize that they made a mistake and correct it, which almost everyone does as soon as they have it pointed out to them.

I wouldn't start by shouting "Hey, no line cutting," which accuses the person of being a cheat and can cause a scene. Just let them know there's already a line.

Honestly, you shouldn't blame the girl or the grandmother if you didn't stick up for yourself. A big part of a sense of entitlement is never having anyone tell you when you do something wrong, like that teenager with 'affluenza'.

@ChynnaBlue

ITA ...... I was thinking the same thing. Unfortunately, some parents are in such a fog that they don't realize how annoying their children are. Why should we be expected to excuse bad behavior?

Sometimes it's appropriate to diplomatically say something ..... not use the "I didn't want to create a scene" excuse. There are many ways to communicate with people that don't create "scenes".

While good manners are always important, don't try to justify your cowardice by implying your manners prevented you from saying something appropriate. JMO