If you have aging parents see a lawyer - Page 5

Imaoldhippie · ‎06-10-2015

@FancyPhillyshopper .............Well good for you. Your assumptions as what you would do are ludicrous. You have no idea what you would do if were in that income level.

Not all of us have perfect parents & grandparents or siblings as you do. How nice for you.

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

@FranandZoe wrote:
If your parents aren't "on board" there's not much you can do. If they are mentally incapable of making decisions and you are their power of attorney you can get things done; otherwise no way. Still a good idea to talk to an attorney though.

@FranandZoe You are absolutely right. My parents were both going through some serious health issues at the same time. I wanted to help them by paying bills etc. but my mother wouldn't hear of it. When my mother died my father gladly gave me power of attorney and let me handle his affairs. It made things so much easier. Shortly afterward I asked him if he wanted to live with my family. We bought a new larger house with an in law suite which made things even easier and he spent the last two years of his life well cared for.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

My Mom passed last year (my Dad, years before that). She was very well organized and had everything written down, organized and a Will. I was her executor, POA and health care represenative. I knew all her wishes. Three years before she passed we sat down for hours and I had pen in hand and wrote down everything she told me and showed me. I had bank names, people contacts, etc. And where everything was stores safely.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

It seems difficult for some people to look at parent/child relationships through the rose colored glasses of a Norman Rockwell painting (if you are too young to know who he is, just search his name).

Unfortunately it isn't always the case. Some parents simply don't like their kids, are jealous of them, don't want anyone to run or interfere with their lives, and a whole host of other issues that can affect any relationship.

Mothers don't always dote on daughters, are sometimes jealous of them or are very disappointed in them, wanted a "mini-me" daughter they didn't get. Parents don't always like one another either. Parents may like and trust their friends more than their kids, or make terrible choices in who they are friends with. Doesn't make them helpful or accepting of help.

Being a parent doesn't make you smarter, more lovable, kinder, or easier to help.

It makes parents and children have obligations, responsibilities and legal issues.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@BoopOMatic wrote:
Many elderly people won't take care of matters.
My Mother refuses to make a will.
I have nothing on her; i.e., no POA, nothing at all....I have talked to her but she isn't a person you can reason with.
I will be doing yet another probate in the event of her death.
She doesn't care.

It's her right. It is her stuff. As long as she is legally competent to make her own decisions and the VAST majority of elders are, she has the right to make bad decisions. She isn't required to protect her assets for her heirs. We don't owe our heirs anything.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@BoopOMatic wrote:
Many elderly people won't take care of matters.
My Mother refuses to make a will.
I have nothing on her; i.e., no POA, nothing at all....I have talked to her but she isn't a person you can reason with.
I will be doing yet another probate in the event of her death.
She doesn't care.

It's her right. It is her stuff. As long as she is legally competent to make her own decisions and the VAST majority of elders are, she has the right to make bad decisions. She isn't required to protect her assets for her heirs. We don't owe our heirs anything.

@chrystaltree I owe my mother.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

I'm glad I don't have to worry about that. Dad (age 90), his executor (one of my brothers), and attorney met. Dad's will and all his other documents and accounts have been updated. He made sure everything is in place.

I have also done the same thing. I'm retired and don't want my kids to have to deal with so much. I have a list of notes for my kids covering little to huge things, the funeral, insurance, and a whole host of things.

One of my sons is military and all over the world. I know he won't be able to help after I'm gone so I've made arrangements for that in beneficiary info, living will, and other things, including sharing what's left.

BoopOMatic · ‎06-08-2021

@chrystaltree wrote:
@BoopOMatic wrote:
Many elderly people won't take care of matters.
My Mother refuses to make a will.
I have nothing on her; i.e., no POA, nothing at all....I have talked to her but she isn't a person you can reason with.
I will be doing yet another probate in the event of her death.
She doesn't care.

It's her right. It is her stuff. As long as she is legally competent to make her own decisions and the VAST majority of elders are, she has the right to make bad decisions. She isn't required to protect her assets for her heirs. We don't owe our heirs anything.

No one said it isn't her right. Of course, it's her right. It's her right to set everything she has on fire. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

I don't CARE about her stuff, or what she has; I just don't want to have to go through probate again.

That's MY right.

Someone will have to take care of things. If your parent doesn't do it, then you will have to.

Parents should take care of their own estate instead of leaving everything undone for someone else to have to clean up the mess.

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

I am an aging parent--and I want to make sure my 2 kids don't have to go thru all the garbage if I didn't do anything to prevent it. I need to set up future plans but what type of lawyer do I go to?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@wagirl wrote:
I am an aging parent--and I want to make sure my 2 kids don't have to go thru all the garbage if I didn't do anything to prevent it. I need to set up future plans but what type of lawyer do I go to?

An estate attorney. That's what my parents did, as did my uncle and aunt. My parents did not have money or assets that required a trust. They started giving us kids what they wanted us to have several years before they passed. They prepaid their funeral expenses and completely planned their funerals. Including guests and who should be notified of their passing. Huge help because we did not know their newer friends. They had wills. My parents were both amazing, loving people and even at the end, they took care of us. We were free to just grieve. I will do the same for my girls.