If you could go back in time . . . - Page 4

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

I think I would like to go back for just a day when my entire family were all still alive so I could tell them how much I love them, and just to have them again - even if it was just for a day.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@NAES1 wrote:
"Hello L T~ Ford",
I haven't been in touch with you for several weeks, maybe even months.
Although I understood your `what if era`, I know all too well that the past is absolutely dead and buried. BUT! We do have our memories, be those sad, happy or wishing we had never come through any or some of certain eras. I had to reread yours three times because I did not understand the part where you were your happiest when divorced, but did apparently lose your chance in having socialization when you were very young, i.e., married with children whom you loved so much, stating going, back being a young mom. I found that to be very sad. I actually did not know what I wanted to do at eighteen years old but certainly knew what I did not want.
I have no one answer to give, for myself, because I have loved each phase of my many discoveries in my life. I, too loved being a young mom but also love being an older mom watching my child grow, being successful, having mom/dad/child time in a different way.
If I stayed in one period of time that brought me the most happiest of times, that would have been through all of my teen years, early dating years, discovering whom I wanted to marry and did, traveling throughout the world with my husband, having all of my family here to love and love me back, knowing what it is to have a best friend, a better than best friend, that would be my husband, witnessing my child's first word and step, learning about other people's life style, being my own person, knowing what it is to be a leader, but regretting not going with those opportunities to be someone else, if I had not chosen teaching medicine. I do not do that anymore but made the decision to spend all of my time with him, more than ever, especially since I almost lost him two years ago from what I call a pre- aged stroke.
Honestly I do not dwell on the past but conjure up warm memories that touch my very soul. I miss my parents more than anything but remember back: they taught me how to live and enjoy life when they would no longer be here, and how to die, so in hind sight as a 20/20, it's almost like... hind sight to me, going back.
By now you must know I can not answer that in a short sentence.
I live life to the fullest but have made some slight verbal points to my husband what I did enjoy most through each phase but felt so safe having him in my life to share, now. I will become quite lost if he should die before me. If so, I hope to have everyone here to help me through such a horrific part of that phase. Losing a best friend. I have lost my two best friends, my mom and dad, so i cannot dwell on this with worrying.
Of course, I have 'had' those fun moments of something special but to be honest, I am -as the saying goes...my cup runniest over; I could not go back, "and I know that was not what you were asking".

I loved being in high school-yet I loved being 19 to 22 when I was at my best, studying...I was full of myself until I met my husband to be. He taught me that I had this unbelievable sense of humor that even I did not know of, when I was younger.
Everything changed from childhood-to teen- to being a daughter, being an adult having my mother and dad being my best friends, knowing the responsibility of rearing our child, but I would not have been the same person if I had not been through all of these phases. All that I can contribute to your understandably curiosity of someone else, I would have to say __embrace what you have__ now, positive or negative, but life gives us trials and tribulations that cause us to seek out and grab life with those, even if it's one person to set us a part from thinking back...`what era could we could go back in time`...
My father always told us never ask what it would be like for us as we age, or for us in the future, because no one really would want to know `if` would could. I hope this does not change your opinion of me but I always stay as honest as I am able to be... "I have this voice"...mine.
Sending you good wishes and the best of blessings that we have but do not always acknowledge. Here is a hug from me to you, a friend..my poster friend.
'NAES'
_Not an easy sale -previously
ps: too many spaces.

NAES, you have managed to show me how to reveal one's life without personalizing it to the extent that I have in the past, receiving much criticism over the years I have been a member of this BB. That's why I wish we could discuss it more one on one.

We all go through phases (I called them eras) in our lives where we have both good and bad. You mention not understanding why some of my happiest years were after my divorce(s). I wish I could explain to you the reasons for that . . . obviously I did not have happy marriages either time (second one lasted only two years, first one produced all four of my children). Since that second divorce in 1975, I never married again, feeling truly free for the first time in my adult life. I dated a lot as my children grew, and had one 10+ years relationship, the happiest I ever was with a man. We never lived together, neither of us had any interest in marriage. We gave each other space, love, and respect. I still miss him, although it is now well over 20 years ago. You found your lifelong happiness in the man you married . . . so different from my experiences. How very lucky you are to have found that kind of love and to still have it.

I lost my mom at age 29 when she was 49. She died six months after my last child was born. My babies were the only thing that got me through that, as my mother taught me everything I know, and I still miss her every day. I lost my beloved sister four years ago, and there's no one I was closer to one on one than my sister. My children and grandchildren have saved me from totally crashing from that, of course, but there is no contemporary for me since she is gone, not that she ever could be replaced.

Your words indicate a very full and interesting life with your husband, although I do detect some disappointment in the path you chose in your career, again illustrating how every good thing is somehow accompanied by something not so good. We make our choices as we go along, don't we.

In my present life, being 77, having many health issues, still making compromises for what I believe to be the greater good, can I say I am totally happy and content? No. But I can say I am lucky in many ways, because I have witnessed far worse than I have had to deal with (even here on this BB). I am fragile and strong at the same time . . . somehow, like the "grandfather's clock," I keep ticking.

Thank you for your thoughtful response to my post. I am hopeful that I revealed enough without getting too personal, something I find so difficult to do. I feel happiness for you and some others here who have indicated complete satisfaction with where you are right now. That is a wonderful gift.

Last, but certainly not least, thank you for being my friend, "poster" or not. You, and others, are the reason I seek this BB out almost every day. I don't know what I would do without you. Hugs right back.

LT~Ford

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

In my mind I have relived many of the happiest moments with each side of my family. With moms family, I have relived Sunday dinners after church, with all the adults in the dining room, and the 5 kids at the kitchen table. I have also relived the extended family get togethers in Mamaw and Papaws front yard in the shade of the big maple tree. The 2 food tables were plywood resting on saw horses, covered by multiple tablecloths or white sheets. I can close my eyes right now and see my whole family in that front yard, and I still hear Uncle Wesley's deep voice saying the prayer before we filled our plates. Dinners with dads whole family were rare, and usually centered around a summer visit from the aunts who lived away. These were the times I actually got to see the cousins who lived in town, and were not so fond of the visits to the farm. I had town cousins on both sides of my family, and I had heard my parents and grandparents comment on how those poor kids didn't even know how to play hard enough to get dirty. My brother and I always found a way to get those cousins dirty before they went home! We showed them how to have fun on the farm and they left happy, despite the fact they were getting fussed at as they were shoved into the station wagons to head back to town.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@RedTop wrote:
In my mind I have relived many of the happiest moments with each side of my family. With moms family, I have relived Sunday dinners after church, with all the adults in the dining room, and the 5 kids at the kitchen table. I have also relived the extended family get togethers in Mamaw and Papaws front yard in the shade of the big maple tree. The 2 food tables were plywood resting on saw horses, covered by multiple tablecloths or white sheets. I can close my eyes right now and see my whole family in that front yard, and I still hear Uncle Wesley's deep voice saying the prayer before we filled our plates. Dinners with dads whole family were rare, and usually centered around a summer visit from the aunts who lived away. These were the times I actually got to see the cousins who lived in town, and were not so fond of the visits to the farm. I had town cousins on both sides of my family, and I had heard my parents and grandparents comment on how those poor kids didn't even know how to play hard enough to get dirty. My brother and I always found a way to get those cousins dirty before they went home! We showed them how to have fun on the farm and they left happy, despite the fact they were getting fussed at as they were shoved into the station wagons to head back to town.

RedTop, I pictured those scenes you described as I would scenes in a movie! What a classic piece of Americana!

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I didn't realize you had so many grandchildren. Maybe I forgot because you look so darn young! Ha! Hope you get that great-grandchild one day. I have a grandson that is 21 but wants a truck more than a girl so I think it will be a while for me too!

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@jubilant wrote:
I didn't realize you had so many grandchildren. Maybe I forgot because you look so darn young! Ha! Hope you get that great-grandchild one day. I have a grandson that is 21 but wants a truck more than a girl so I think it will be a while for me too!

Sounds like my grandson, the oldest one (27). I doubt he will ever get married, let alone have a child. He is definitely not ready!! And his sister (25) says the same thing. Not even looking for a relationship she says! She's still 100% into educating herself (fashion industry). Not that I blame them . . . there are so many divorces in our family!

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

NAES1 · ‎09-02-2011

"I am so very proud of you, Ford, you have no idea".

The quality and substance of what you have told me, yes, I do understand. More than you realize. This is an one on one that has to be privately done. That can be taken care quite easily from me- wait!~

I thought our open discussion was so enjoyablely important, hoping that you have _always thought of me as your friend...just not as a typical poster.

I find that quite difficult, for me, to have anyone trying to read through the lines as a second guess. Remember these: I will proceed further: xl at g m - the first part will be shown later in the other forum which I will reveal later.

Reading back where you detected my disappointment? Not exactly in the manner I had written. I was 16 when I was approached by a clothing/beauty line director, from NYC to speak with me, along with my mother when he had seen me modeling dresses in a larger city, where I often frequent.

At sixteen, what does any young girl know about the futher of her life; ref/being selected to go to this foreign area and start with modeling, leaving school and believing this is exactly what I want. My parent knew otherwise...thankfully they made the decision for me.

I had years to reconsider if that was the path I wanted to travel or be in the business for years, and as you know...it's a business that replaces anyone when something else or someone comes a long. Also, I would not be the person I am today, nor have my husband or my child- My Life!

For myself, at that age, I was _'caught up and overwhemled'_ at the opportunity, later on... finding through the lethal throw-a-way business, I was more intelligent than *star struck* I had more to offer than my body. That was what I meant with a question to myself: why did I not go against my parents' wisdom and show myself up as -I know more about life than you do...I could have signed those papers and every single thing would have been taken care of, by that, I mean being owned by that particualr business, escalating to (maybe) something more demanding on my ticket to bright lights and actually no life. All about money; that part was not my god.

I was too young and naive to undertake such a stance, but later on was somewhat pushed up to wall to endorse another big French company for beauty cosm.endorsement. I was already contented with what I had and something that my husband only dreamed about from earlier years, a family~ Nothing was going to destroy that one gift that I treasured- NOTHING.

You had mentioned being in the pit { I called this} on this BB having to endure criticism. I find that laughable knowing who are 'these people' causing that to happen. I find you very strong, very lovable, highly intelligent and directly motivated of a more deep subject matter. I have no idea who the yakety yaks were but know most, if not all, have moved on.

Many of the more kinder, thought provoking posters just left!! Constructive criticism is valuable `as in a skill`, and believe I ranked right up there with the best when I needed to hea rany, also, I did the same when I was in charge as certified nursing/med instructor. The description of being both fragile as well as strong is to me more as very sensitive `to needs of others`, which I am, also. I can find your situation in high school (moving 13) times very critical to a young mind needing security more than ever. Each person is not the same when being uprooted from their comfort zone. That would have been me~

I do read between the lines of your, and know that you need a more gentiler -FEELING safe personality in a husband. And! Having 4 babies that young was something I could not have succeesed at but would have done my best, especially (hahaHa) not knowing anything about babies until I worked in the hospital nursery (hosptial training) learning very quicky..this is for only a few hour then I GO home.

I can view you as an English professor or its equal for sure. How anyone could cause such criticism is beyond me, and to know that it must have interrupted you ability to change your name. They, whoever they were, I describe as bullys or plain ol' jealously. You do have self esteem- alot of it- Your High Intelligence. Even though you are in a life 'brief' changing situation now, does not indicate to me, as most -of those many when i was first her (4) years ago- who had style and substance to contribute, or I would not be here with you posting. Most are somewhere to hear their head rattle, and for me, I do not allow [IT]!

Back to the 10+ man/friendship, that was the love of your life forever and then some. I certainly can understand that comfort human need of understanding. I definitel can! you have paid your dues and did a wonderful labor of love rearing your girls. They have their lives now and you have your memories; we cannot go back.

I will send more that was not printed, later.

Sending lots of prayerful thoughts. I will be back later. Sorry for the abbrev. et cetrs.

That's the way it works! NAES

NAES1 · ‎09-02-2011

@LilacTree wrote:
@AngelPuppy1 wrote:
That's a very nice and interesting subject! And I've thought about it several times myself.

To begin with, there are many seasons of my life that I am glad that are over and I would never want to relive.

High school, though I know are happy times for many, was not particularly good for me. I was glad to be done with it!

My years being a young woman -- 20's and 30's -- while I would love to have those years back because I was in the best physical condition and I still had the appearance and freshness of youth, I was not particullarly fulfilled in those years either. If I could go back and correct all the mistakes I made, perhaps I would like to go there!

But, truly, the most sweet, cherished, and happy memories are when I was a young child. Before my father passed away, and the family was still intact and untouched by tragedy. We lived a very simple, somewhat meager existence, but were so content and happy. Never since that time have I had the feeling of peace, joy and love that that I experienced back then.

Lastly, though, if I would go back to that time, I would never have gotten to meet and marry my wonderful DH. Although we met late in life and we both have serious medical issues, I feel I have been so blessed to be able to share my life now with such a wonderful man!!!!
My high school years were not the best either. I was extremely shy which was interpreted as being "a snob," which I was far from. I had practically no self esteem at all. We moved 13 times when we were kids and never had time to make really solid friendships. My beloved sister was far better at it than I was. So, no, I would not have chosen that time either.

How wonderful that you found happiness later in life!!

REF: my former reply. (OTHER)...please pay no attention to any of my misspelling; I typed hurriedly and always go back then CORRECT but then in that post I was not given the okay. To have a note saying I am not auth. does not give me much time to CORRECT, but I am sure you know what I meant. blissxl4

NAES1 · ‎09-02-2011

@sissy2 Tree,

please see both - note letters. Naes

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I know what time I would NOT want to return to. I loved my babies; I loved being a mom but I didn't not enjoy being a sahm when the girls started school. It was a hard time for me and no one actually "got it". I suppose, I would like to re-live the days when my girls were "tweens". Not exactly little girls but not teenagers either. They were discovering clothes and hairstyles and shopping and taking baby steps toward being the amazing women they are today. I enjoyed those years. As for me, personally; these truly are the best years of my life. I feel like I have finally come into my own; I'm enjoying the fruits of all the work and sacrifice and struggles of my younger years. I am loving my fifties......