Among Friends

[Kalli]

I'd go back to my childhood (very happy years growing up with loving parents and lots of siblings) and the first years of motherhood, because I was still naive then.

 I like the person I am now.  I'm stronger and stand up for myself more than I did when I was younger.  But, there was a sort of happy bubble world before my grandparents died, friends went through divorce, nephew died horrifically, best friend lost her husband to cancer, etc.  

I don't live in the past, but I did have a sheltered childhood and early adulthood.

[NAES1]

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@LilacTree wrote:

NAES, I just read your remarkable response and want to give it the time it deserves.  I cannot right now, so I will get back to you as soon as I log in tomorrow.  I will say I wish we could do this privately to do it justice.  This is a conversation worth having.  But I will do the best I can.

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Absolutely understood~!! Also found your reply in the P. N.'s thread...TLHS. Your post was blank for all day and I wondered why? I don't become impatient, though Not one of my traits. I came back w/ reply.

NAES

[AngelPuppy1]

That's a very nice and interesting subject!  And I've thought about it several times myself.

To begin with, there are many seasons of my life that I am glad that are over and I would never want to relive.  

High school, though I know are happy times for many, was not particularly good for me.  I was glad to be done with it!

My years being a young woman -- 20's and 30's -- while I would love to have those years back because I was in the best physical condition and I still had the appearance and freshness of youth, I was not particullarly fulfilled in those years either.  If I could go back and correct all the mistakes I made, perhaps I would like to go there!

But, truly, the most sweet, cherished, and happy memories are when I was a young child.  Before my father passed away, and the family was still intact and untouched by tragedy.  We lived a very simple, somewhat meager existence, but were so content and happy.  Never since that time have I had the feeling of peace, joy and love that that I experienced back then.  

Lastly, though, if I would go back to that time, I would never have gotten to meet and marry my wonderful DH.  Although we met late in life and we both have serious medical issues, I feel I have been so blessed to be able to share my life now with such a wonderful man!!!!  

[jubilant]

Lilac Tree (Ford)

I think I can understand a little bit of what you may be feeling.  In childhood you can run and play, jump into leaves, walk up and down ravines, roller skate, etc.  When health problems come along you miss those things.  At least I do....A Lot!  I have been able to do all those things with all my grandchildren but the last one.  She is 6 now but knows Grandma can't run anymore or go back into the woods and crawl up and down ravines.  I have osteoporosis too and it is just too risky.  I have had it for quite a few years.  We do crafts, make believe, watch movies , etc.  It has caused me to get a lot more inventive and creative and I think we are building just as good of a relationship as I have with the others. I am beginning to think it is this time of life when I can just set the best example I can and hope she will remember our more quiet times together. I remember snapping beans and husking corn and thinking it was fun with Grandma!    Although I am very tired when she goes home...it is always worth it.   I don't know if you have nieces or nephews or neighbors with kids....but if you can find one somewhere and babysit for even just a couple of hours, it might add a whole new dimension to your life.

  It's tough, I know.  Every now and then I get into that rut where I don't feel so useful anymore.  A few hours with a child helps me to remember...I can make a difference sitting in a chair!!

[ladyroxanne]

it's hard for me to choose a time to go back to.  each decade has brought me great happiness in some way and some despair also. 

i can only say with certainity i would like things to be the way they were prior to 1994 which is when i lost my son.  i'm lucky that i had a lot of support and help that has helped me to cope with this loss and i feel that i will see him again some day.

[apple1964]

I would go back to my childhood [my father was alive then] I would also go back to my era when my kids were babies. [that was 19 years ago]

[LilacTree]

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@jubilant wrote:

Lilac Tree (Ford)

I think I can understand a little bit of what you may be feeling.  In childhood you can run and play, jump into leaves, walk up and down ravines, roller skate, etc.  When health problems come along you miss those things.  At least I do....A Lot!  I have been able to do all those things with all my grandchildren but the last one.  She is 6 now but knows Grandma can't run anymore or go back into the woods and crawl up and down ravines.  I have osteoporosis too and it is just too risky.  I have had it for quite a few years.  We do crafts, make believe, watch movies , etc.  It has caused me to get a lot more inventive and creative and I think we are building just as good of a relationship as I have with the others. I am beginning to think it is this time of life when I can just set the best example I can and hope she will remember our more quiet times together. I remember snapping beans and husking corn and thinking it was fun with Grandma!    Although I am very tired when she goes home...it is always worth it.   I don't know if you have nieces or nephews or neighbors with kids....but if you can find one somewhere and babysit for even just a couple of hours, it might add a whole new dimension to your life.

  It's tough, I know.  Every now and then I get into that rut where I don't feel so useful anymore.  A few hours with a child helps me to remember...I can make a difference sitting in a chair!!

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Jubilant, I have six grandchildren, the two oldest are grown (in their mid-20s), the second two are in college, and third two are early-mid teenagers.  No babies anymore.  There are two great-grandchildren who are little ones, but they are my beloved sister's, not mine and distance doesn't allow for me to get to know them.  I am hopeful that I may live to see a great-grandchild of my own, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.  How I long to hold a baby in my arms again. 

Enjoy your time with your little six-year-old granddaughter, at our age time goes by so much quicker and she will be grown before you know it!!

[June222]

Probably the day I have no memory of....that first moment my Mother held me  in her arms after giving birth to me....  That would be nice to be able to recall.

[LilacTree]

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@ladyroxanne wrote:

it's hard for me to choose a time to go back to.  each decade has brought me great happiness in some way and some despair also. 

i can only say with certainity i would like things to be the way they were prior to 1994 which is when i lost my son.  i'm lucky that i had a lot of support and help that has helped me to cope with this loss and i feel that i will see him again some day.

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How agonizing to lose a child.  I am so sorry to hear that.  My heart goes out to you. 

[LilacTree]

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@AngelPuppy1 wrote:

That's a very nice and interesting subject!  And I've thought about it several times myself.

To begin with, there are many seasons of my life that I am glad that are over and I would never want to relive.  

High school, though I know are happy times for many, was not particularly good for me.  I was glad to be done with it!

My years being a young woman -- 20's and 30's -- while I would love to have those years back because I was in the best physical condition and I still had the appearance and freshness of youth, I was not particullarly fulfilled in those years either.  If I could go back and correct all the mistakes I made, perhaps I would like to go there!

But, truly, the most sweet, cherished, and happy memories are when I was a young child.  Before my father passed away, and the family was still intact and untouched by tragedy.  We lived a very simple, somewhat meager existence, but were so content and happy.  Never since that time have I had the feeling of peace, joy and love that that I experienced back then.  

Lastly, though, if I would go back to that time, I would never have gotten to meet and marry my wonderful DH.  Although we met late in life and we both have serious medical issues, I feel I have been so blessed to be able to share my life now with such a wonderful man!!!!  

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My high school years were not the best either.  I was extremely shy which was interpreted as being "a snob," which I was far from.  I had practically no self esteem at all.  We moved 13 times when we were kids and never had time to make really solid friendships.  My beloved sister was far better at it than I was.  So, no, I would not have chosen that time either. 

How wonderful that you found happiness later in life!!