Among Friends

[StylishLady]

Miss my Mom. Here she is with my 3 brothers and two sisters in 1998, the year before she left us. 

[Tweety68]

@StylishLady What a lovely picture .Your mom left a precious gift in the world.You!

[dex]

@Equuleus @I understand what you are saying.My mom and I had a similar relationship.My brother has not spoken to her in over 30 years.I am the one she looks to for support now that she is frail.I have forgiven her so that I can be free from emotionaI trauma.I now accept and understand that she just wasn’t capable of doing better.I promised myself early on that I would not parent that way and because I didn’t have a good family background I spent much time reading everything I could on parenting.I even took classes.

[Tweety68]

Life, to me, Is an odd,complex thing.Sometimes people do what they can,it is sometimes not the right thing.It is hard to walk in anothers shoes...I am certain of one thing , that we are able to do better...Live more,learn from the past.It is painful I have walked the walk.Life is in constant motion.We are able to shift that motion.Forgivness is difficult but the only answer 

We must dump the wheelbarrow of weight and sadness, move.Forgiveness doesnt excuse the behaviour, but instead gives US permission to be free..God bless all who suffer the weight of the day...

[BunSnoop]

I Iost my mom in 2003 - a week before Mother' Day. I think of her everyday.  Now when I look in the mirror I see features in myself that resemble my mom.  (Some good, some not so good  :-) )

[Snowhite714]

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@Equuleus wrote:

How very sweet of you to post this.  I lost my Mother last week.  I am one of six children.  It's different for me because we never ever had a quality mother/daughter relationship.  I was the child she focused all her bad feelings toward.  I won't go into detail but I now, at 65, am in counseling with depression and PTSD.  I feel like I am the just a casualty left behind on a battlefield of trying a lifetime to win her love.  I know now I will never have that.  It's over.  Now I have to figure out how to get through the rest of my life dealing with that emptiness.

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@Equuleus Sorry for your loss as well as you never having the opportunity to experience a quality mother/daughter relationship.  I do hope that counseling will help you to find your way out of the depression and PTSD.  Be strong, don't spend your time wondering what if, you need to move forward, life is too short  You need to free yourself of this baggage, that is the bad feelings that were thrust upon you.  And I know this is easier said than done, but YOU CAN DO IT!!!  Your Mother is gone, don't let her take you too.

[FashionFran]

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@Tweety68 wrote:

Life, to me, Is an odd,complex thing.Sometimes people do what they can,it is sometimes not the right thing.It is hard to walk in anothers shoes...I am certain of one thing , that we are able to do better...Live more,learn from the past.It os painful I have walked the walk.Life is in constant motion.We are able to shift that motion.Forgivness is difficult but the only answer 

We must dump the wheelbarrow of weight and sadness, move.Forgiveness doesnt excuse the behaviour, but instead gives US permission to be free..God bless all who suffer the weight of the day...

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Happy Mother's Day @Tweety68! I'm glad you and the koi "pond kids" decided to come back and post again after taking a break, we missed you!💖💖💖

[Snowhite714]

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@Tweety68 wrote:

Life, to me, Is an odd,complex thing.Sometimes people do what they can,it is sometimes not the right thing.It is hard to walk in anothers shoes...I am certain of one thing , that we are able to do better...Live more,learn from the past.It os painful I have walked the walk.Life is in constant motion.We are able to shift that motion.Forgivness is difficult but the only answer 

We must dump the wheelbarrow of weight and sadness, move.Forgiveness doesnt excuse the behaviour, but instead gives US permission to be free..God bless all who suffer the weight of the day...

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@Tweety68  Very deep, very deep.  Words of wisdom have been spoken.

[FashionFran]

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@Equuleus wrote:

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@Lilysmom wrote:

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@Equuleus wrote:

How very sweet of you to post this.  I lost my Mother last week.  I am one of six children.  It's different for me because we never ever had a quality mother/daughter relationship.  I was the child she focused all her bad feelings toward.  I won't go into detail but I now, at 65, am in counseling with depression and PTSD.  I feel like I am the just a casualty left behind on a battlefield of trying a lifetime to win her love.  I know now I will never have that.  It's over.  Now I have to figure out how to get through the rest of my life dealing with that emptiness.

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@Equuleus , I am sorry for your loss.  Your loss is so fresh.  I hope time gives you perspective.  If this is overwhelming for you, talk to a therapist perhaps.  I had a good relationship with my mother but have a sister who is a challenge.  I have learned to deal with it.  I am one of ten children so I understand a large family dynamic.  Your mother is such an important figure in your life.  I wish you peace and well being, LM

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Thanks.  I am in counseling.  It's been so long of a time living as I did that I am not sure if I'll ever understand it.  But I do wish all those that had a loving mother they are missing peace in knowing what they shared and continue to share through their lives.  I do know the emptiness, but in a different way.  Peace and love to all of you.

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You're brave @Equuleus.💖 Thank u for opening up about this. 

I've been there as well. Peace & love to you.

[dex]

@StylishLady @The first thought that came to my mind after seeing the picture...your mom was a stylish lady too.Now I know where your stylish nature originated.