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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,857
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@nanny24 @I am dealing with my mom who sounds like your moms twin.It is tough to remain positive when I spend daily time with her.She does drain my joy but I also feel responsible for her too.She would have no one if I wasn’t involved.

I belong to a small studio gym that is filled with great women who are caring and uplifting.They keep my spirits up and give me hugs on my down times.The workouts are helpful too but still that terrible stress feeling creeps in at times.I try to take deep slow full breaths and then slowly let it all out.Completely exhaling gets all the bad air out and makes room for the fresh cleansing air.My son tells me to stop worrying.He says there will be plenty of time to worry when or if stuff happens....I am working on that but I was taught to always be prepared.I wish I could help you but as you can tell I haven’t been able to figure it out for myself either.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,207
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Ideas for less stress??

[ Edited ]

Meditation, soothing music or a sound machine (the ocean!)

 

For upset stomach I've tried DGL (Deglycyrrhizinated Licorice root extract.) . It really helps with ulcer type of symptoms.

 

ETA:  I've always found laughter to make me feel better no matter how bad I fee.  Look up some comedy on Youtube or if you're an animal lover check out videos of puppies & kittens.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,923
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

@jeanlake wrote:

As hckynut touched upon, we have different personalities that react various ways to stress. A psych instructor I had mentioned when she overthinks things she tells her brain to shut up. Then she has positive mantras or phrases to distract her from worry. I learned this at a time I was working FT, kids at home, going to grad school and handling sad news in our extended family. 

 

Just telling my mind to be quiet and finding a better focus helps me a lot. I also practice meditation and prayer which helps me personally, but this isn't for everyone.

 

At work, we have a code between cohorts. IDC -- when work things become annoying and we begin to obsess and blow things out of proporation, we tell one another to stop caring so much. IDC = I don't care. 

 

I believe the answer is somewhere between our ears. Good luck to you. Peace be with you.  

 

    


Excellent post. Sometimes we need to try more than one option until we find what works for us.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,570
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

@nanny24 wrote:

Thanks for the ideas, I do walk 2 miles per day, and exercise. Don't drink sodas or coffee. My mom is the big problems here, she is very self-centered and hard-headed. I deal with her several times a week, doctors, groceries, etc. I just don't like being around her. She made my dad miserable for 54 years till he died, now she tries to control everyone else. I envy those who have a loving relationship with their moms. Smiley Sad  I need to get some craft projects going, and get to the library for some reading. Sometimes just sharing a problem lightens the load. Thanks to all.


@nanny24 

 

Don't allow yourself to be controlled...just to keep peace...by anyone.  You'll feel much better if you stand up to people like this.  

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,774
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

With a husband healing from partial amputation of his foot, and mom progressing further into dementia, I feel highly qualified right now to talk to anyone about stress!   Most days I’m pushed about as far as I can go.   I go to bed exhausted and get up the next morning ready to do whatever needs to be done.   

 

I left my job 6 years ago to be a caregiver, and pretty much knew what was coming.   I had lots of time to adjust and acclimate my mind, and I’m just dealing with the specifics now.   I cannot fix my husband, or my mom, and what they are going thru is part of their life story.  I am blessed to be part of their life story, and I will do whatever I can, for as long as I can.  I am strong, I am capable, and I will do the very best I can.   

 

I make time for me every day; eat well, get plenty of sleep, and relax my brain with different activities like puzzles, reading, and texting.   Find what you need, and do it!

 

Best wishes to you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,515
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Ideas for less stress??

[ Edited ]

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Walks and prayer might help. I don't think you are to the point of needing therapy. You clearly recognize your biggest problems.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 890
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Ideas for less stress??

[ Edited ]

@nanny24   I try to read and turn off technology.  A walk outside always helps too. Even a park bench or sometimes I just take a beach chair outside and sit quietly.  I hope you get some relaxation.  Prayer and thoughts for you.  Hugs too!!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,515
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

That's an exaggeration @proudlyfromNJ . I went through her last 50 posts and they are mundane to put it mildly. Are they being poofed right and left? The worst I saw was a statement that Ellen has unresolved issues, and that was mild compared to what others were saying! There was another nurse out here, who has permanently left. She was blunt and straightforward which caused a lot of rifts, but I always thought her job in an ICU accounted for her no nonsense approach. 

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 124
Registered: ‎05-24-2015

Look, tomorrow is a new day. N0 matter what happens today…there’s a new day comin’.

 

I’m not sayin’ don’t take life seriously, I’m sayin’ don’t take like so seriously that it gives you ulcers.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,986
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Go to a good counselor.  You can never change people, only yourself.  You can take meds, do yoga, and go on a vacation. 

 

Nothing you deal with changes.  With change comes growth and dealing.  It's only possible for you to change, then the dynamics will.