Among Friends

[mintedrose]

Ive noticed this a lot. With my family and friends more so and even new people that I meet sometimes. People just wanna talk about their issues with me. Im not sure why. I know with fam and friends its usual and just got used to it. But sometimes even when meeting new people, most of the time women, they usually just wanna talk about stuff that they're dealing with. Why is that? 

[ECBG]

I'm guessing you must have a kind demeanor.  Some people are just easier to relate to.  Others pick up on a welcoming personality.

Also, many people have had quite a bit of stress with all of the virus awareness, their ageing parents, their own ageing issues which are constantly bearing on their minds.

[gizmogal]

Murmur something banal or some platitude.  Then change the subject and they'll talk about something else. If you don't want to hear about things concerning others, there are loads of general topics to deflect the conversation. Try weather, local sports teams, books and movies, your pets or kids latest antics, the height of hemlines these days!

As to why, perhaps you're a good listener, keep their privacy and sound supportive so people feel safe telling you their concerns. That's good for them and a nice trait of yours, but it doesn't mean you have to welcome it from everyone.  

[skatting44]

Maybe your opinion  offered to others has been helpful and respected . So maybe the word went out to talk with you abt  their issues.  Maybe these women that you meet  are in situations where they do not have  any support system  to discuss issues.

Good for you in being a good listener .

[HonestLife]

@mintedrose  This has been a part of my life since I can remember. Other women are drawn to me as a sounding board, easy to talk to and trustworthy. So much so, I found myself wandering into Family Law, Advocating for women of abuse and other sectors helping females. You clearly have something about you that women find approachable. You've been given quite a gift, dear! Be well and enjoy the wonderful aura surrounding you! 

[Sage04]

Growing up, people always did this to my Mom and now it's been done to me. I don't mind. I listen. This is both men and women. Some one said I have a very kind face lol.

[chrystaltree]

Maybe you are a good listener or maybe you don't participate in the conversation 

 You let the other person go on and on.  If you don't say anything, they end up talking about themselves.   

[Kachina624]

@mintedrose   You're obviously a good listener. 

[hckynut]

@mintedrose 

Close to the opposite for me. I meet many new people ice skating on Sundays(Family Day). Both genders and all ages from 8 years old on up. I really do not go many places, other than the hospital or doctors appointments, where I meet new people. 

We have to be around new people for a long enough time to actually carry on a conversation, and other places I go? They are usually the In and Out thing.

It is usually me that starts with a "hello", and depending on the situation, I start a conversation. This is only when it is at a place other than an In and Out, thus most times, long enough to converse for a few minutes or longer.

Yesterday skating I met a younger skater, found out he is 52. I said hello to him and commented on his hockey Jersey which was the Boston Bruins. The first thing he said was, "are you John"? I said yes.

From there I found out some of the hockey players I know, told him to look me up at the rink. They had told him to have me look at his skating style and see what he was doing wrong, as a hockey player skates. He is still playing hockey.

That quickly went to him wanting to know about me and my hockey, and also what I  have done to be able to skate to my ripe old age. Pretty quickly went to overall fitness and my history there.

Countless stories I could tell from my return to skating after my 14 year absence, starting it when I was 78 years old. I try to most of my conversing before or after the skating session is over. Otherwise I do not get my level or physical workout as intended.

That is pretty much my life in connection to in person conversations, with strangers, and even the skating friends I see there on my Wednesday skating sessions.

My direct family consists of my 1 remaining older sister. I talk with her regularly and some of it is about health issues(she and BIL are 88), but most is about life and our world in general.

hckynut 

[RedTop]

I think it's for the exact same reason issues are brought to this forum.  Sometimes it's just easier to let go of what's bothering you with a group of anonymous people than someone closer to you.   

Thru this pandemic, I have tried to stay connected to family and friends, to keep spirits up; theirs, and mine.   My peeps are struggling; work friends are pounding in their 40 hour weeks, then going home to hide away until time to go back to work.  One friend is exhibiting clear signs of mental decline.  I'm seeing and hearing the same changes in older family members that concern me.

Now more than ever, I smile, listen, and encourage, because so many people around us just need to make a connection with another person.