Among Friends

[house_cat]

... the graceful way they handled outliving all their friends and relatives.  They were 91 and 93 when they died, and by that time they had lost all their siblings and most of their friends. I watched them grieve, from the perspective of someone young enough to think I'd never grow old. I sympathized, but I didn't truly understand.

Now that I'm 60 and losing friends and loved ones, I realize how terribly hard it is.  I wish I had their strength and grace, but I'm afraid I do not.  If anyone has words of wisdom to share, I'd love to hear them.

[Thebig I]

I always want to share my faith but I know QVC would delete that. So anything of any importance, sadly I can not say.

[jeanlake]

@house_cat Your post is written with grace and respect and there is no doubt you will share your parents' strength. You are more like them than you know. 

[manny2]

That generation went through hard times, and that built character. That is why your parents had such grace, and strengh. My parents were the same way.

[VegasBusinessWoman]

It is small comfort, but this is the way of nature: birth, life and death . . . and renewal.  In nature that renewal is called spring.  Depending on your particular spiritual leanings, it is a renewal through One Who Is Greater Than We.  We will all meet again one day.

[hyacinth003]

Since I just lost my father at 92 last week, I can really relate to your post.

My mother passed away at 77 due to complications from multiple sclerosis.  She handled it with about as much dignity as someone could.  My father took care of her without complaint for several years.

And I never came across a bad word about either of them.  I could only wish to be anything like either of them.

Hyacinth

[september]

I understand.  My dad recently passed away at the age of 89.  Mom is a few years younger but likely doesn’t have many years to go.  

Both took good  care of all the older family members who passed away in earlier years.  

They never had had a negative word to say about anyone, even though it’s of course challenging to deal with older family members who are angry/in pain/dealing with dementia, etc

I hope I can follow in their footsteps 

[spiderw]

When someone close passes, we always question our role in that person's life. I think we carry guilt and regret over what we should or should not have done, so many why didn't I's.  This is a normal reaction in my opinion.

When we are young we go about our lives and think the people in our lives will always be there.  I also feel this is normal and many go through it.  

I know my parents loved me and I too understand losing friends  as I have experienced it.  I believe my parents know and forgive my shortcomings, it is within my faith and belief system.  That is my comfort.

[FancyPhillyshopper]

It is a blessing that many of us are able to have friends and family live well into their nineties, and perhaps we will do so as well.

As we grow older we can reflect on the sweetness and goodness of life and all the opportunities that have been and still are open to us in these times of medical miracles, technological wonders, economic posterity, and freedom of choice.

All of us have regrets and accomplishments--that is part of the human condition.

Philosophers and religious leaders throughout our history and in all civilizations have tried to study and answer many questions about our thoughts, emotions, hopes and fears.

However, the most important thing will always be to love well and deeply (and sometimes experience great love in return).

We grieve because we loved so much those people/pets/experiences/things that we have lost, but hardly any of us would forsake those memories or their impact.  

Your parents birthed you from love, and in your legacy their strength and grace will continue, along with their rich and wonderful heritage of all they have taught you. 

Best wishes in all! 

[qualitygal]

@house_cat   I did that one day.  When my folks were both well, one day just felt it (deep and grateful love for my folks), that I told them both how much I loved them and gave them both a big hug.  I almost forgot I did that.  I'm so glad I did.  They were great parents