Among Friends

[Sushismom]

I have some good days, some not-so-good days, and some bad days.

My ex-boyfriend died in January of this year. We broke up after 4 years. Neither of us ever married. He was, after almost 40 years, - and still is - the love of my life. I often dreamed about us getting back together when we were old; little did I know he would never get the chance to grow old.  He died a couple of weeks short of his 60th birthday. I miss him dearly. 

I guess what I really need is to talk about him. He was a great boyfriend EXCEPT for the alcohol. He only drank weekends when he wasn't in school or working. But, eventually, that was enough. There was so much good about him. He rarely got mad at me. He cooked as I really didn't. He even helped me to clean up after he cooked. 

We kept in touch for several years after we broke up. But we lost contact about 10-15 years ago. I didn't even know he died until almost 5 weeks later. I was looking for his address online and, instead, found his obituary. I was in shock. And now, I find myself crying over his loss and things that could have been. My heart is broken.

[Tallgal]

I am sorry for your loss. It is normal to grieve the loss of someone you love.  You might want to go to a support group or get counseling so that you can talk and be able to express yourself about your feelings.  My best to you.  Tallgal.

[Catty2]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It may help if you see a counselor to talk about him and have someone help you get through this.  I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us your story and I wish you well. 

[countrylady]

Vent here anytime. 

My husband of 50 years died and I'm so broken hearted.  I am now on meds so I hope they help.  Prayer & getting back to church has helped me.

[Lindsays Grandma]

@Sushismom 

I'm sorry you are hurting.  I know only too well what you mean when you say he was the love of your life even though you never married.  Please stay strong, it's okay to cry, but you still have to take care of yourself.  Each day that passes you will find yourself healing, if you allow it.  Bless you, take care.

[happycat]

@Sushismom , I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand the heartbreak of wondering about all the what could have beens.

I would like to adise counseling, but I have been going and  it hasn't helped. If you can find a GOOD counselor, I would go. What we have here are mediocre at best. Mine talks about himself all the time. I'm done with him.

I'm thinking of you, I'm sorry for your pain.

[happycat]

@countrylady , I'm so sorry for your loss as well. That's a lot of years to be with someone. I'm praying for peace for you as well.

[ladycos]

Sorry for your loss. It's harder when you don't get to say good bye.  

You're in my Prayers tonight .

[spiderw]

Grief is a process of feelings and emotions, sadness, emotional pain, anger, anxiety are a few.  It is a time situation also and time does heal having gone through losing many people.  It is never easy and always a difficult ordeal for our mental state.  

As other posters have said, you might need to go for counseling to get you through.  There isn't any shame in doing that, I did when my mother passed.  It helped to talk to someone on the outside and not emotionally involved. Perhaps your boyfriend's passing connected with other issues you may have had.

Strength and faith also help when someone passes but if is isn't enough, please consider  grief counseling.  I wish you peace of mind.

[colliemom4]

@Sushismom   I'm so sorry for your loss.