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Super Contributor
Posts: 403
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I used to believe this saying

[ Edited ]

 

I was the ugly duckling growing up and was the kid that everyone bullied.  

My parents always told me 

 

'Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you'.

 

Now that I am an adult, I realize that verbal abuse and bullying leave more scars than the broken bones I suffered as a result of the bullying.  

 

The bones were easily reset and splinted and healed, but the pain from the painful words was not addressed.  As an adult, I struggle with the long lasting damage.

 

I hope  as a society we have come to recognize bullying and verbal abuse as capable of long-lasting harm.  

 

I don't know why I posted this .... just read the phrase this morning and it triggered a lot of old childhood memories. 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,027
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: I used to believe this saying

Bullying is abuse, plain and simple. No kind of abuse is okay and the scars they leave are permanent.

@juanitalinda,I hope you are doing okay now and have friends that know how wonderful you truly are.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,588
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying


@juanitalinda wrote:

 

I was the ugly duckling growing up and was the kid that everyone bullied.  

My parents always told me 

 

'Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you'.

 

Now that I am an adult, I realize that verbal abuse and bullying leaves more scars than the broken bones I suffered as a result of the bullying.  

 

The bones were easily reset and splinted and healed, but the pain from the painful words was not addressed.  As an adult, I struggle with the long lasting damage.

 

I hope  as a society we have come to recognize bullying and verbal abuse as capable of long-lasting harm.  

 

I don't know why I posted this .... just read the phrase this morning and it triggered a lot of old childhood memories. 

 


@juanitalinda 

 I am glad you posted this.   It rings true with me, also.  di

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,523
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying

@juanitalinda - Heart  Words do indeed hurt and leave lasting scars.

 

Some things can't be unsaid.  As adults, we have to realize the problem wasn't with us, it was with the person(s) who said those things.  Hopefully, those persons grew up to realize the consequences of their actions and changed.

 

Sending you hugs and healing thoughts.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,226
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying

I agree with the OP but I also think we can never stop verbal abuse.  You see it here every day in thinly disguised comments mostly about women.  From women. 

 

SO, I think more emphasis should be placed on kids ignoring, discounting, and learning to move on from it than we currently do.  Telling kids they are victims makes them victims.  

 

Teach them to ignore, buck up, and think more about who they are, what they can do, and how to go on and prove them wrong through living the life you can make happen. Many of the keys to growing up include learning how to take charge of your life, be accountable, responsible, and looking toward the future.  

 

Don't listen to that junk and go have some fun and learn something to make life better.  That's the only way I knew how to do anything about it.  My best friend was a bully.  So yes I understand what I'm talking about.  But in the end we are all tugging on our own bootstraps pretty much. 

Super Contributor
Posts: 403
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying

[ Edited ]

@Venezia 

 

Unfortunately, listening to my grand-niece it sounds like the behavior continues to exist online.  

 

HOWEVER, I would never tell her the sticks and stones line .... that is not a helpful response.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,326
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying

I am glad you posted this too. The cruel words stick. They can be triggered for any reason.

 

Those cruel words did not define you. They did define whoever said them.

 

Unfortunately, we see a lot of bullying right here on the boards, and it is rampant on social media.

 

That old saying did get it wrong. The silent wounds caused by careless words linger.

Super Contributor
Posts: 403
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying

@Sooner 

SO, I think more emphasis should be placed on kids ignoring, discounting, and learning to move on from it than we currently do.  Telling kids they are victims makes them victims. 

 

I totally agree we need a better response than 

'sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you'.  

 

However, I think we also need to confront the bullying behavior also.  In the past the onus was entirely on the person being bullied to adapt to the abuse.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,226
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I used to believe this saying


@juanitalinda wrote:

@Sooner 

SO, I think more emphasis should be placed on kids ignoring, discounting, and learning to move on from it than we currently do.  Telling kids they are victims makes them victims. 

 

I totally agree we need a better response than 

'sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you'.  

 

However, I think we also need to confront the bullying behavior also.  In the past the onus was entirely on the person being bullied to adapt to the abuse.  


@juanitalinda I agree in a perfect world, but I really don't think you can stop it enough to just tell kids it's wrong and you are not at fault.  I guess I'm saying it's like any other potential danger--best to learn to deal with it.  Does that make sense?  Not disagreeing with you at all.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,779
Registered: ‎03-03-2011

Re: I used to believe this saying


@juanitalinda wrote:

 

I was the ugly duckling growing up and was the kid that everyone bullied.  

My parents always told me 

 

'Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you'.

 

Now that I am an adult, I realize that verbal abuse and bullying leave more scars than the broken bones I suffered as a result of the bullying.  

 

The bones were easily reset and splinted and healed, but the pain from the painful words was not addressed.  As an adult, I struggle with the long lasting damage.

 

I hope  as a society we have come to recognize bullying and verbal abuse as capable of long-lasting harm.  

 

I don't know why I posted this .... just read the phrase this morning and it triggered a lot of old childhood memories. 

 


I heard the same ugly duckling story too. Dump that nasty talk baggage they gave you! I was the tall skinny girl (taller than any of the boys .....the horror!) but I was lucky to get the "swan" ending added and stressed. Still can call me a "toothpick, flagpole etc" and thank goodness I am. Wonder if the mean girls are?