Among Friends

[september]

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@GenXmuse wrote:

I think some people here pretend to not understand as as a dig at a poster or we have some really clueless people. 
Her post made perfect sense and I know exactly what she's talking about. Things tend to be  more elaborate, Instagramable, performative and expensive then when I was getting married. My 24 year old has been in so many weddings, (five this summer) organized travel involved bridal showers, it's been crazy. It's definitely a different expectation then I think most of us have had.  If you don't get that, then I think you're being intentionally obtuse. 

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Nothing obtuse at all.  If your daughter doesn't want to be involved in all those events, she has the option to say no.  

[haddon9]

I got married in 1982 and sure things were different then.  However how a couple decides to spend their money is their choice. 

Maybe they both make a lot and are very established in their professional fields and already have a nice home.....who knows?  Maybe they inherited some money.

If they can afford to have a nice party or getaway more power to them.

[GenXmuse]

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@september wrote:

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@GenXmuse wrote:

I think some people here pretend to not understand as as a dig at a poster or we have some really clueless people. 
Her post made perfect sense and I know exactly what she's talking about. Things tend to be  more elaborate, Instagramable, performative and expensive then when I was getting married. My 24 year old has been in so many weddings, (five this summer) organized travel involved bridal showers, it's been crazy. It's definitely a different expectation then I think most of us have had.  If you don't get that, then I think you're being intentionally obtuse. 

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Nothing obtuse at all.  If your daughter doesn't want to be involved in all those events, she has the option to say no.  

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Sure looks like it to me especially if you're taking this as criticism rather than a comment on how things change. I was not implying she doest want to, just I thought it was crazy with how many are getting married so close together. 

[Marceil]

I am embracing my fuddy duddy side.  Born in 1965 and I loved the time in which I grew up.  Today the world is nuts.

[fairydogmother]

in 1979 when I married the first husband, I didn't have a bachelorette party. It didn't even occur to me. We had a pleasant rehearsal dinner at a mid priced restaurant. The reception was in a Holiday Inn. All nicely done and affordable for our parents. 
My thirty-five year old daughter just went to a destination bachelorette party in northern Michigan. In my day I had not heard of anything like that. 
it was a real pleasure for me, in Dec 2000, to say to my new man after he proposed, "let's get married in the courthouse". The words every groom secretly wants to hear. Lol. And we did. 

[QVCkitty1]

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@september wrote:

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@QVCkitty1 wrote:

Sometimes when things are so different from our own experiences it gives us pause. I don't think the OP was being critical, but the commenters were really piling on.

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Or...the commenters were presenting  a different point of view.  

"piling on" is your interpretation. 

and maybe you are being critical? 

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@september , That makes zero sense. 

[QVCkitty1]

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@GenXmuse wrote:

I think some people here pretend to not understand as as a dig at a poster or we have some really clueless people. 
Her post made perfect sense and I know exactly what she's talking about. Things tend to be  more elaborate, Instagramable, performative and expensive then when I was getting married. My 24 year old has been in so many weddings, (five this summer) organized travel involved bridal showers, it's been crazy. It's definitely a different expectation then I think most of us have had.  If you don't get that, then I think you're being intentionally obtuse. 

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@GenXmuse , Exactly !

[manny2]

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@GenXmuse wrote:

I think some people here pretend to not understand as as a dig at a poster or we have some really clueless people. 
Her post made perfect sense and I know exactly what she's talking about. Things tend to be  more elaborate, Instagramable, performative and expensive then when I was getting married. My 24 year old has been in so many weddings, (five this summer) organized travel involved bridal showers, it's been crazy. It's definitely a different expectation then I think most of us have had.  If you don't get that, then I think you're being intentionally obtuse. 

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I agree @GenXmuse    Her post is simple. It's an attempt by a few to get the OP to engage. Then they can attack. Such drama over a simple opinion.  

[homedecor1]

@Luvsmyfam 

Times have changed for sure.  I was invited to a bachelorette getaway to St. Thomas for a relative.

 I couldn't justify the cost for even one day but also they are young adults with not much in common with me.  These ladies are doctors, CEOs, financial people with phenomenal educations and salaries and they can afford the lifestyle.  

As you said back then going out to dinner and a bar was a big deal but we certainly didn't have the disposable income of todays generation.  I don't consider you a "fuddy duddy" just we were raised by a different generation.  We got married young todays brides are in no hurry - this young lady is in her 30s.

[Calcgirl]

This reminds me of neighbors we once had before my hubby passed away. They were young flight attendants and were married a short time before purchasing the home next door. They shared that they spent over $50000 on her dream wedding. They both kidded that the bride was high maintainence.  She also always came out in the front yard with a string bikini to water her bushes, lol.  The guys in the neighborhood  enjoyed the time they lived here.  Unfortunately, 6 months later ( not even a year married) they got divorced and sold the house.    Maybe the gal was more in love with having her dream wedding then the man she married. She was the one who decided she did not want to be married anymore and wanted her freedom,