Among Friends

[MsSuze]

You are extremely angry over something that has not happened yet. What did your son do last year? Did your son forget Father's Day last year, the year before that and so on? What about Mother's Day last month? Did he call you, see you, or give you a gift or completely forgot about it?  He is also a father. May be he is waiting to hear from you. Perhaps you and his wife could plan something for Father's Day if you all live near each other.

[happycat]

I would try to talk to your son about it. Perhaps asking if he would like to get together over the weekend.

I really feel like the the way we treat people thruought the year is a lot more important than celebrating one day during the year just because its Fathers day, Mother's day or whatever day. My son won't be here, he is leaving saturday for vaca for 2 weeks with his fiance's family. Its fine with dh and myself. We are glad our son is getting to go on a nice vacation.

[Marp]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

Nothing hurts more than to have a grown child forget a birthday or holiday.  I know.   I would not remind my child ahead of time.  That would result in the grown child calling because of duty.

I know you love your son and husband.  Your concern is because of that love.  But it is not your place to intervene.  Others will disagree and that's ok.  We don't know you personally so can only offer input based on our own experiences.  You have to make the decision.

Hopefully, your son will call his dad on Father's Day.  If he is in town, he might even stop by.  I pray this happens.  

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That brings up the point I was going to make about prompting.  Is something done out of obligation rather than from the heart any better than nothing.

At most I would make a simple inquiry about his Father's Day plans or perhaps invite him and his family for a Father's Day get together.  That is all the reminding that should be done or be necessary.

[Another new name Sue]

I always remind family members of any special days coming up. They appreciate it. It’s one way we support each other.

This seems to be an emotionally loaded topic for some, and it really shouldn’t be. We are all busy and appreciate a little reminder of dates.

 You read of people who are angry because someine did not remember a special date. Why put people to test like that?  It just invites trouble. Mention it in advance. 

[K9buddy]

So you would rather read your son the riot act if he forgot, but you don’t know if you should ask if he has plans for Father’s Day or suggest you get together at some point on the day. Hmmmm. 

[2blonde]

@hckynut  John, 1969 is the same year my mom died.  I was 20 years old, and she was 48.  I still think of her often.  

[MoJoV]

@FuzzyFace I would definitely remind him if you feel he will "forget." Being a father himself,he shouldn't need reminding but I would for your husband's sake. My mother had a wise saying "you can't put it where it ain't."  ....meaning if someone doesn't care you can't make them care.  

Your husband has you and you have him....priceless,no matter what others do or say.

[Trinity11]

Text your son, call or send him an email.

Both our children will be in Europe on Father's Day. One came last weekend and the other will take my husband out to eat this week. One specific Hallmark Day isn't what counts. My belief is we raise them well and then they live their own life on their own terms. No hand holding either. After 2 heart attacks, I know how fragile life can be but would never want to be needy. My greatest gift is how happy they both are.

Putting demands on our children to perform as we want them to is only going to cause rifts.

[occasionalrain]

Traditionaly, wives are in charge of social engagements and situations. Since your son is also a father, you and his wife should make a plan for the day. Why not call her and discuss it?

[Montana]

I get the feeling the OP is worried her husband will be deeply wounded if their son forgets. I think I would talk to the son about it.