Among Friends

[chiclet]

[chiclet]

I have had a lot of heartbreak and unhappiness throughout my life as have most people and the one thing you don't want to hear right in the midst of the black hole is "look on the bright side"  or "count your blessings" etc etc.  I thought this might with what you say to people.  

[godi]

I copied that graphic. Thank you @chiclet 

[qualitygal]

Gad zooks, left side is old quotes.

[Miss Pepsi]

Thank you I copy and pasted it,  Another thing people say is either Get over it, or it's time to get over it.  Well until you have walked in someone elses shoes better to just say nothing than that.

[decaf]

I've been reading about toxic positivity lately.  I had a friend for many years that always acted like this and I couldn't put a name on it.  It borders on being abusive to others, they enjoy it.  I'm so glad someone  has finally explained this harmful behavior and given it a name.

[AuntG]

When cards would go around the office for us to sign, the most common sentiment I saw was "thoughts and prayers" which seemed kind of hollow after the 10th time.

[Gorgf]

I can think of many others on both sides. "I know how you feel!" It  drives me crazy. Only you know how you feel! Sometimes a simple "I am so sorry." is ok. 

I knew a man that would always say the same.. "That's too bad." Gloss it over and over.  

Good post and comments.. Thankyou @chiclet 

[chiclet]

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@decaf wrote:

I've been reading about toxic positivity lately.  I had a friend for many years that always acted like this and I couldn't put a name on it.  It borders on being abusive to others, they enjoy it.  I'm so glad someone  has finally explained this harmful behavior and given it a name.

I am too....This behavior makes you feel ever worse because you feel you are the only one who feels the way you feel and you feel selfish and ungrateful.  When I had Post partum depression (did not have a name back then) after my first baby. I got so sick of hearing you are so fortunate to have a healthy baby....which I knew but just felt so down and like I could never love the baby. On the spur of the moment I dropped in on an ex neighbor and told her how I felt.  She helped me more than she will ever know by not minimizing how I felt and telling me she went through the same thing and it would go away evenutally. 

[LindaSal]

I think you can use statements from either side.  It really depends on the situation at hand.  To me some of the "non toxic" statements seem a bit much, too wishy washy.

I am a sympathetic person but not everyone needs to be so coddled.  We were brought up to pick yourself up by the bootstraps which I am sure today would be in the "toxic" column.........we all suffer from different traumas in life, it is life and while getting sympathy and support is comforting, there is a fine line how much is needed, you do need to have the ability to learn and carry on....... IMO.