Among Friends

[Deanie]

@Mominohio

For the first time, you and I differ. While your position has merit, I believe weddings are entirely overdone and are extravaganzas that are funded by the participants. I almost feel like I am in a commercial enterprise. Be that as it may, are you OK with second marriage funding? How about third? It is just big and bigger business anymore.

[ROMARY]

Hey, CCassady!   How is your new house-building project coming along?  Hope all is well.  We often think of you. 

[ALRATIBA]

Among my my friends and family ... the usual practice is to give a gift for a shower, but for a wedding or engagement present ... it's always cash.

[debic]

Well I've always given cash, but to be asked for it specifically would be an insult to me.  The mother dragging people off would just tick me off and I would have a lot to say.  Same thing with the cash bar.

Now money trees are different IMO.  The weddings I've been to with them were traditional Mexican ones.   They were set up in the reception hall during the dancing.  Of course I knew about them before hand as did most of their friends/family.   I always set aside a ten dollar bill and still gave a card and cash at the wedding.

I find books and diapers for a baby shower bizarre. I simply would not do that. I give cash there as well.  LOL  I went to a baby shower once where almost everyone gave them baby powder, lotion, shampoo, and whatever else came in the gift package.   She was set for the next 3 kids.

[Rockycoast]

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@debic wrote:

Well I've always given cash, but to be asked for it specifically would be an insult to me.  The mother dragging people off would just tick me off and I would have a lot to say.  Same thing with the cash bar.

I think that is what some here are missing the point on.  If you want to give cash as a wedding gift that is fine. It is your choice. But to specifically tell guests to give cash as their wedding gift is tacky, ill-mannered. Always has been.  As for the cash bar at a wedding...well that is another faux pas to me. You don't make invited guests pay. Period. If you can't afford for your guests to go to your event without forking over more money, then reduce the people going or some other cost saving measures so they don't have to pay. Party within your budget.

I would have said something also, if the mother had dragged me and my husband off to the money grab room. Tackist thing I have heard about. She would have known so too!

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[Irshgrl31201]

Yes, it is getting ridiculous. I had a relative who wanted guest to give money so they could go on a honeymoon. They are so broke yet they went on a 3 week honeymoon to Italy. When they came back from their trip they were evicted from their apartment. I can't fathom the stupidity of that and I didn't attend no add to their honeymoon fund.

IMO if people want a honeymoon or house, they skip the huge wedding and get married by a justice of the peace or save until you can afford it all but you don't ask your guest to fund it. It is tacky and gross.

[Plaid Pants2]

I swear, if I ever get married, I am going to elope at the local j.p.

Then after the honeymoon, I am going to have a casual get-together, perhaps a back yard bar-be-cue, where the announcement is made that, "Surprise! We're married!".

[lucymo]

I think couples should plan their wedding and honeymoon based on what they can afford.  If they get a lot of monetary gifts that's fine but don't make plans counting on it.

If I receive a request for money I won't be attending the wedding or reception.  I usually give money but I want it to be because I want to give not that I'm obligated.

[lucymo]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

I swear, if I ever get married, I am going to elope at the local j.p.

Then after the honeymoon, I am going to have a casual get-together, perhaps a back yard bar-be-cue, where the announcement is made that, "Surprise! We're married!".

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@Plaid Pants2  Those are some of the most fun get togethers.  We've been invited to a couple.

[LilacTree]

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@Desertdi wrote:

I received an electric pencil sharpener as a wedding gift............

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@Desertdi

LOL!!  I received two dishtowels from one of my husband's aunts.  I think we received about $200 in cash and there were 50 people there.  Things have surely changed since 1961!!